Are you a maladaptive perfectionist?

[Locut0s]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfectionism_(psychology)#Negative_aspects

In its pathological form, perfectionism can be very damaging. It can take the form of procrastination when it is used to postpone tasks ("I can't start my project until I know the 'right' way to do it."), and self-deprecation when it is used to excuse poor performance or to seek sympathy and affirmation from other people ("I can't believe I don't know how to reach my own goals. I must be stupid; how else could I not be able to do this?").[citation needed]

In the workplace, perfectionism is often marked by low productivity as individuals lose time and energy on small irrelevant details of larger projects or mundane daily activities. This can lead to depression, alienated colleagues, and a greater risk of workplace "accidents."[17] Adderholt-Elliot (1989) describes five characteristics of perfectionist students and teachers which contribute to underachievement: procrastination, fear of failure, the all-or-nothing mindset, paralysed perfectionism, and workaholism.[18] In intimate relationships, unrealistic expectations can cause significant dissatisfaction for both partners.[19] Greenspon [20] lists behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that typically characterize perfectionism.

Perfectionists can suffer anxiety and low self-esteem. Perfectionism is a risk factor for obsessive compulsive personality disorder, eating disorders, social anxiety, social phobia, body dysmorphic disorder, workaholism, self harm, and clinical depression as well as physical problems like chronic stress, and heart disease.

I see a LOT of this in myself. Though I tend not to be low in productivity in the work place so much as in my personal life and if I hit a snag in something either in work or life it often throws me over the deep end (this has led to me to drop out of university 4-5 times in the past).

 

[Soundmanred]

Once you stop trying to find labels for what you are, you'll be much happier.
Labels are too often used as excuses for leading a poor life.
"I'm xxxx, so I can't be happy until xxxx is fixed".
Stop labelling, start living.

 

[nanette1985]

I think people who dwell on labels and labelling are just doing that as a way to avoid actually accomplishing anything. Not that there's anything wrong with that .

 

[Locut0s]

Once you stop trying to find labels for what you are, you'll be much happier.
Labels are too often used as excuses for leading a poor life.
"I'm xxxx, so I can't be happy until xxxx is fixed".
Stop labelling, start living.

This is true. I need to bite the bullet and I'm not good at that. However I think you would admit that medically diagnosed depression and anxiety still needs to be addressed. One should not wallow in self pity over it, which I do too much, but you can't ignore it either.

 

[BoberFett]

Absolutely.

 

[ShawnD1]

Once you stop trying to find labels for what you are, you'll be much happier.
Labels are too often used as excuses for leading a poor life.
"I'm xxxx, so I can't be happy until xxxx is fixed".
Stop labelling, start living.

The labeling is useful if it actually leads to something. Saying someone has cancer means you can start cancer treatment. Saying you have self diagnosed aspergers leads to....... nothing?

 

[Locut0s]

The labeling is useful if it actually leads to something. Saying someone has cancer means you can start cancer treatment. Saying you have self diagnosed aspergers leads to....... nothing?

I think he means one should not wallow in self pity which I'm good at doing. But my reply to him above is basically exactly what you said here.

 

[William Gaatjes]

Morgan Freeman voice :
Somewhere about 20 years ago in a poor country where poor people live, there was a fire on a garbage dump. Now it is not uncommon that people live closely on a garbage dump because when new garbage arises, possible useful items may be found to be sold. However, that day when that fire burned and was finally extinguished, at least one family no longer had a home. One of the children, a small girl not older then 4 years old cried. She cried so much because the empty soda cans with all kinds of colors she had as toys were all burned and the colors were gone. She was happy with so little. And now even little existed no more...

You do not have to feel guilty because of this story but it will help to put things in perspective. If you want to turn your weakness into a strength, help others. It can be anything, for example helping the animal shelter do some small chores might help. Help with some charity. Because you do something positive, you can add it up and use it to regain your balance when you feel negative. Every human on this planet has something strange in their brain. It is what makes humans tick and unique. But only those who learn how to accept and to control, live.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

I remember in ENG 101 and 102 that in the beginning of class there were always a few people that complained about their perfectionism and how it resulted in them pushing of papers to the night before. The funny thing is how flawed their papers always were when we'd give each other critique, not simply in terms of creating a cohesive argument (which almost everyone fails at), but with consistent misspellings, dismal grammar usage, and improper citations. Those are the things that can be most objectively viewed as imperfections in their paper, yet they are rife with them. I don't think that is possible for a self-proclaimed perfectionist to put any thought into his or her work. It's entirely a pathetic excuse.

 

[Locut0s]

I remember in ENG 101 and 102 that in the beginning of class there were always a few people that complained about their perfectionism and how it resulted in them pushing of papers to the night before. The funny thing is how flawed their papers always were when we'd give each other critique, not simply in terms of creating a cohesive argument (which almost everyone fails at), but with consistent misspellings, dismal grammar usage, and improper citations. Those are the things that can be most objectively viewed as imperfections in their paper, yet they are rife with them. I don't think that is possible for a self-proclaimed perfectionist to put any thought into his or her work. It's entirely a pathetic excuse.

Evidently you fail to produce cohesive arguments as well as the above makes almost no sense.

 

[Locut0s]

Morgan Freeman voice :
Somewhere about 20 years ago in a poor country where poor people live, there was a fire on a garbage dump. Now it is not uncommon that people live closely on a garbage dump because when new garbage arises, possible useful items may be found to be sold. However, that day when that fire burned and was finally extinguished, at least one family no longer had a home. One of the children, a small girl not older then 4 years old cried. She cried so much because the empty soda cans with all kinds of colors she had as toys were all burned and the colors were gone. She was happy with so little. And now even little existed no more...

You do not have to feel guilty because of this story but it will help to put things in perspective. If you want to turn your weakness into a strength, help others. It can be anything, for example helping the animal shelter do some small chores might help. Help with some charity. Because you do something positive, you can add it up and use it to regain your balance when you feel negative. Every human on this planet has something strange in their brain. It is what makes humans tick and unique. But only those who learn how to accept and to control, live.

Thanks. Now everything I read is in Morgan Freeman's voice.

Seriously though, thanks for the suggestion.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

Evidently you fail to produce cohesive arguments as well as the above makes almost no sense.

What doesn't make sense? Perhaps I did not elaborate enough. Do I truly think that every self-proclaimed perfectionist is in fact lying to the class to hide the fact that he or she is simply goofing off? No, of course not. Many lie to themselves. They tell themselves "Oh, I've been sitting in front of Microsoft Word for a whole thirty minutes and have only mustered up three sentences that I like. I just think too much. I just stress too much. I am just too damn perfect right now, and must finish this paper at a later date once I can go Super Saiyan and realize my true potential in creating this work of flawless composition." No, Mr. or Ms. Perfect, you are wrong. What you perceive to be hindering perfection is in fact self-imagined belief of superiority used to conceal a lack of ability to touch perfection's hem.

 

[ShawnD1]

I remember in ENG 101 and 102 that in the beginning of class there were always a few people that complained about their perfectionism and how it resulted in them pushing of papers to the night before. The funny thing is how flawed their papers always were when we'd give each other critique, not simply in terms of creating a cohesive argument (which almost everyone fails at), but with consistent misspellings, dismal grammar usage, and improper citations. Those are the things that can be most objectively viewed as imperfections in their paper, yet they are rife with them. I don't think that is possible for a self-proclaimed perfectionist to put any thought into his or her work. It's entirely a pathetic excuse.

That does sound pathetic.

Perfectionists are the opposite of what you experienced. They produce a perfectly written.... paragraph. It was supposed to be a page long but they couldn't finish it because they corrected the same sentence or the same paragraph 30 times over until it had no mistakes at all. Doing that left no time to do anything else.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

That does sound pathetic.

Perfectionists are the opposite of what you experienced. They produce a perfectly written.... paragraph. It was supposed to be a page long but they couldn't finish it because they corrected the same sentence or the same paragraph 30 times over until it had no mistakes at all. Doing that left no time to do anything else.

It's still a severely flawed essay, far more than even the ones I read (aside from one which was just a giant quotation with a small paragraph about going to the beach as a child...) and therefore I still disagree with the use of the term. It's just OCD retardation at best (when it is truly an issue of biological mental imbalance) at a excuse they make up because their parents never pushed them hard enough, at worst. You may as well call the person that is always late for work due to a need to follow a ritual involving opening and closing every door in the house a perfectionist.

 

[ShawnD1]

I would call that a perfectionist. People who leave doors open and lights on should be killed.

The link to OCD was also mentioned in the OP.

 

[destrekor]

Hi!

That's me in a nutshell I reckon.

 

[OILFIELDTRASH]

Locotus you sound like a broken record. I've heard this before.. Woe is me.. I can't get a girl.. Schools is hard... My job suxxors and is causing me stress...

 

[HamburgerBoy]

The link to OCD was also mentioned in the OP.

Yeah, but those are the rare ones and experience its symptoms in all facets of life. "Perfectionists" that only get the urge with work or school, more specifically those that exhibit only the procrastination characteristic, are simply lazy and pathetic and kidding themselves that they are not.

 

[Platypus]

Locotus you sound like a broken record.

this x100000

 

[Locut0s]

Locotus you sound like a broken record. I've heard this before.. Woe is me.. I can't get a girl.. Schools is hard... My job suxxors and is causing me stress...

this x100000

Yes that is true.

 

[Locut0s]

Yeah, but those are the rare ones and experience its symptoms in all facets of life. "Perfectionists" that only get the urge with work or school, more specifically those that exhibit only the procrastination characteristic, are simply lazy and pathetic and kidding themselves that they are not.

Not that you shall believe me but I do exhibit it in most aspects of my life.

 

[William Gaatjes]

Thanks. Now everything I read is in Morgan Freeman's voice.

Seriously though, thanks for the suggestion.

Well, i like the voice of Ian McDiarmid (darth sidious) as well in the movie : "revenge of the sith". But it might give the wrong impression.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kdEsZH5ohc&feature=player_detailpage#t=19s


There is one more important subject to note :
If you decide to do so, never present yourself boasting or bragging that you do charity or other good deeds. Never speak of your deeds as the first. That is a big fail. Unless the ever existing exception is relevant : anonymity.

 

[William Gaatjes]

Although i like many of the voices of actors.
This man also has a great voice :

The architect from the matrix : Helmut Bakaitis.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H85hdn9a6KM&feature=player_detailpage#t=42s

 

[yhelothar]

Yeah I do it way too much and leads to procrastination.

There was a study done on this to show if perfectionism actually helps. Basically they had different groups of people build a tower out of spaghetti and marshmallows, and see which group would build it the highest. Surprisingly, kindergarteners were one of the best, because they didn't think about it, they just did it and went trial and error. The teams that did the worst are the ones who endlessly planned how to do it and then had to quickly scrap one up when time was nearing an end. Although unsurprisingly, engineers did the best. So perfectionism does help if you actually know what you're doing.
http://www.ted.com/talks/tom_wujec_build_a_tower.html

 

[William Gaatjes]

I think the human brain and therefore the mind works by a combination of fuzzy logic and hard logic. Let say your brain needs to make a decision based on comparison. Knowing what to give priority is the key. And it is very important in a temporal aspect : Timing. Priority based decisions are key to planning. When you have nothing, just start. When you have gathered information, you can search for matching patterns. Pattern recognition.

How much acquired patterns need to match with known patterns is changing the comparison from fuzzy logic to hard logic. Hard logic is the same as binary logic. Only true or false. Fuzzy logic is more of giving the result of the pattern recognition a number. For example, 0 is no match at all and 4294967295 is a perfect match. In every day life we do just that, we vary the priority and we vary the result of the pattern recognition. Just as a graphics card does hidden surface removal for polygons we cannot see removing those polygons from the calculation pipeline, our brain does a similar sort of processing on data.

For example, a small piece of food on someones sleeve will not inhibit most people to talk to that person with the dirty sleeve. But if you have something against dirt or food scraps, it is too much.

If in your brain everything needs to be an exact match, you are not going to have a happy life. If in your brain no match at all is required, you are not going to have a happy life either. The issue is learning to control it. And sometimes it is just broken from birth and disables people. When i think of the really heavy autistic people, some really make me think that they need exactly the right input(senses) to respond in an expected way. Because for some reason, only that right input (from the senses) returns the right response.