Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Schadenfroh

Elite Member
Mar 8, 2003
38,416
4
0
Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans And Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

Reply 1: This is old as the internet itself
Reply 2: P&N!
Reply 3: R
Reply 4: E
Reply 5: Politics and news!
Reply 6: You dumbass, this has been posted many times before!
Reply 7: (quotes Number 4) P

OP edits the thread to say repost and please lock

Zim: Ohh look, a cute little .
Reply 9: nef
Reply 10: I give up, what was this?
Reply 11: Some moron posted something as old as time
Reply 12: postcount++
 

FoBoT

No Lifer
Apr 30, 2001
63,082
12
76
fobot.com
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click
 

GoingUp

Lifer
Jul 31, 2002
16,720
1
71
Originally posted by: FoBoT
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click

 

Ime

Diamond Member
May 3, 2001
3,661
0
76
Nice face-lift for an old joke, but it was still missing... something...
 

Rainsford

Lifer
Apr 25, 2001
17,515
0
0
Trick question, Democrats aren't expert shots with Glocks and Republicans are much more likely to shoot Anwar the unarmed food cart owner.