Are you a believer?

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RichPLS

Senior member
Nov 21, 2004
477
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Are you a believer?

Mark 16
17 And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; 18 they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."

+++++++++

This is clearly how we are to identify Christians from non-Christians. So, how many of you have done all of the above?

I just want to know how many TRUE Christians we have out there.

Snake handlers?

Arsenic guzzlers?

Stand and be counted!!!


:brokenheart:
 
M

MercenaryForHire

Lifer
Jan 31, 2002
40,819
2
0
Originally posted by: RichPLS
Are you a believer?

Mark 16
17 And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; 18 they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."

+++++++++

This is clearly how we are to identify Christians from non-Christians. So, how many of you have done all of the above?

I just want to know how many TRUE Christians we have out there.

Snake handlers?

Arsenic guzzlers?

Stand and be counted!!!


:brokenheart:
Click to expand...

So according to that, if you're Christian, you should be able to knock back a bottle of bleach with no ill effect? Sounds nifty.

- M4H
 
R

RichPLS

Senior member
Nov 21, 2004
477
0
0
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.


Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the Woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quick grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.?


Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory, he proclaimed, ?Well brothers, you KNOW that we don?t sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God?s HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God?s Holy word and praising Jesus.?

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and in traction with IVS and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, ?You fellows don?t know what trouble is until you try to circumcise a bear.?
 
K

KarenMarie

Elite Member
Sep 20, 2003
14,372
6
81
I believe in God.
I believe in Christ.
I do not believe in organized religion.
I do not believe in drinking bleach!
:)
 
R

RichPLS

Senior member
Nov 21, 2004
477
0
0
The existence myth...

Nobody exists. You are just dreaming. When you wake up, you will probably just enter another dream.

Everybody is dreaming. We really don't know anything.

Nothing is real.


There once came a faith healer from Deal,
Who said although pain is not real
When I prick my skin, with a pin
I dislike what I fancy I feel!

I hang on, I'm dreaming that God really does love me, and when I awaken, that he still will! Because Christ died for me.

And I fancy that those who disagree, are going to dislike what I fancy they will fancy they are feeling!


 
R

RichPLS

Senior member
Nov 21, 2004
477
0
0
Sinner's Petition

What if God gave you a brain, but you refused to use it?

"Hey God, I am petitioning for Heaven in the name of your Son."

AND He says, "Aw no not ANOTHER one! I get 50,000 suckers like you every day. Makes we wonder if I allowed you people to fully evolve, the way you refuse to use that gray matter."

"So you gonna let me into Heaven, or am I doomed to Hell?"

And God says, "Silly man! You'd have to think I was the most evil deity to even conjecture a place called Hell, a place of eternal misery which would completely imbalance the transgressions of a finite life. - - Tell ya what I'm gonna do, though. Since you don't use your brain, and you act like a sheeple, I'm sending your consciousness back down there to that planet to think about it - but as a sheep this time, not as a human."

- Until that day you thought you were cleverly hedging your bet, that there are only two possibilities: A Christian God exists to save believers and damn non-believers, or A Christian God does not exist in which case all are damned. That's what you thought. Problem is, that's not thinking at all.


 
X

xSauronx

Lifer
Jul 14, 2000
19,582
4
81
Originally posted by: RichPLS
Sinner's Petition

What if God gave you a brain, but you refused to use it?

"Hey God, I am petitioning for Heaven in the name of your Son."

AND He says, "Aw no not ANOTHER one! I get 50,000 suckers like you every day. Makes we wonder if I allowed you people to fully evolve, the way you refuse to use that gray matter."

"So you gonna let me into Heaven, or am I doomed to Hell?"

And God says, "Silly man! You'd have to think I was the most evil deity to even conjecture a place called Hell, a place of eternal misery which would completely imbalance the transgressions of a finite life. - - Tell ya what I'm gonna do, though. Since you don't use your brain, and you act like a sheeple, I'm sending your consciousness back down there to that planet to think about it - but as a sheep this time, not as a human."

- Until that day you thought you were cleverly hedging your bet, that there are only two possibilities: A Christian God exists to save believers and damn non-believers, or A Christian God does not exist in which case all are damned. That's what you thought. Problem is, that's not thinking at all.
Click to expand...

please stop posting before you get your count to 100
 
R

RichPLS

Senior member
Nov 21, 2004
477
0
0
Pascal's wager, "that you've got nothing to lose" by betting on the existence of God" does not make any logical connection between the existence of a God and the soundness of the precepts of the Bible. You can have a God without Christianity; just ask 4 billion non-atheist non-Christians.

Sheeple take Pascal's 'reasoning' and insert their OWN assumption that if God exists, then Jesus exists and therefore that is the way to bet. You can take Pascal's argument and equally conclude that you should become a Muslim.

Actually, if you bet on one religion, and find out another religion is true, you might be in bigger trouble than if you did not belive in any. But, bet away!
 
R

RichPLS

Senior member
Nov 21, 2004
477
0
0
No, he didn't. But he gave me and some others a brain. If you don't use it, that will be for you to defend on judgement day.
 
Toastedlightly

Toastedlightly

Diamond Member
Aug 7, 2004
7,214
6
81
Who were you before the ban, and take it to P&N. Don't soil our fair lands with your propaganda!
 
W

Wallydraigle

Banned
Nov 27, 2000
10,754
1
0
Originally posted by: Toastedlightly
Who were you before the ban, and take it to P&N. Don't soil our fair lands with your propaganda!
Click to expand...



The mods have made it clear that religious threads will continue to be welcome in ATOT. If you don't like it, don't click on it.
 
Babbles

Babbles

Diamond Member
Jan 4, 2001
8,253
14
81
Now I'm a believer.
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind.
I'm in love
I'm a believer, I couldn't leave her
if I tried
 
Gooberlx2

Gooberlx2

Lifer
May 4, 2001
15,381
6
91
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
So according to that, if you're Christian, you should be able to knock back a bottle of bleach with no ill effect? Sounds nifty.

- M4H
Click to expand...

Sweet, sign me up.
 
P

PlatinumGold

Lifer
Aug 11, 2000
23,168
0
71
i'm a believer, i have to wonder if you the OP are.

a true believer knows that ONLY god can convict and don't go around trying to force their believes on others.
 
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Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
I forget which country it is, but at least ONE country has laws against trying to push your religious beliefs on others.

Too bad MORE countries don't have that law...
 
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