Are there ever exceptions in a relationship where lying is okay?

[MisterJackson]

My g/f and I had this discussion yesterday about some friends of ours. We disagreed a bit, but over all agree honesty is the best policy.

For example, let's say your girl goes out with her friends. When she comes home you say something stupid like "So how many guys wanted your number?" and she says "I didn't get hit on or approached at all.".

Then lets say later you find out that isn't true, it's a lie. Maybe a little white lie, maybe a big juicy lie, who knows.

I've proposed this question to a friend of mine and she says that if a girl lies in a situation like that it's to protect the b/f's ego and not necessarily a bad thing. However, I'm of the school of thought that you're always honest, be it good or bad, and let the other person at least have the advantage of knowing what they're dealing with so that they can make their own decisions.

What say you ATOT?

 

[Linflas]

When your wife asks "Does this dress make me look fat?" there is only 1 correct answer to that no matter whether it makes her look fat or not so I have to answer yes.

 

[zanieladie]

Originally posted by: Linflas
When your wife asks "Does this dress make me look fat?" there is only 1 correct answer to that no matter whether it makes her look fat or not so I have to answer yes.

In that instance, you had better answer "NO" unless you want the evening ruined.LOL

 

[EGGO]

I feel the same like you MisterJackson; however, things like what Linflas proposed makes me think otherwise.

 

[MisterJackson]

Originally posted by: Linflas
When your wife asks "Does this dress make me look fat?" there is only 1 correct answer to that no matter whether it makes her look fat or not so I have to answer yes.

Touche. But you could always be honest, say yes, have her totally respect you for your honesty, join a gym and shed the extra weight, and have everyone benefit! Wait a minute, WTF am I saying????

 

[swtethan]

Originally posted by: Linflas
When your wife asks "Does this dress make me look fat?" there is only 1 correct answer to that no matter whether it makes her look fat or not so I have to answer yes.

you really dont have to lie if she looked fat before she even put it on.

 

[calvinbiss]

ok, other than Linflas situation, you really shouldn't lie. If said girl is lying about getting hit on to protect bf's ego, there is something off about bf if his ego is that weak. Besides, why would it bother me if other guys come up to my chick. I know shes hot, and there's nothing she can do about it.

 

[Acanthus]

yeah, there is

also, napoleon dynamite is a retarded movie.

 

[MisterJackson]

Originally posted by: Acanthus
yeah, there is

also, napoleon dynamite is a retarded movie.

Thanks for your input, please drive through.

 

[NaOH]

Originally posted by: Linflas
When your wife asks "Does this dress make me look fat?" there is only 1 correct answer to that no matter whether it makes her look fat or not so I have to answer yes.

I tell my gf when shes gaining weight. She wants me to so she knows if she needs to start running or hitting the gym more often.

 

[HN]

Originally posted by: zanieladie

Originally posted by: Linflas
When your wife asks "Does this dress make me look fat?" there is only 1 correct answer to that no matter whether it makes her look fat or not so I have to answer yes.

In that instance, you had better answer "NO" unless you want the evening ruined.LOL

i don't think he's saying "yes" to the "fat" question; rather, to the OP.

in any case, aren't we lying all the time with push-up bras, platform shoes, hair weaves, press on nails, contacts, cologne, etc...?

 

[MisterJackson]

Originally posted by: AMDUALY

Originally posted by: Linflas
When your wife asks "Does this dress make me look fat?" there is only 1 correct answer to that no matter whether it makes her look fat or not so I have to answer yes.

I tell my gf when shes gaining weight. She wants me to so she knows if she needs to start running or hitting the gym more often.

and just how long have you been with this girl? My g/f used to run all of the time and has stopped since we've been dating because she has no time. She's by no means fat, but I can see how running kept her more tone. However, I'd never dare tell her that. she's talking about really missing running so no worries here, she'll be leaner and tighter soon enough.

My g/f and I are VERY open with one another, but I'd never discuss her weight with her, ever. unless she hit 400lbs.

 

[dullard]

Of course there are times when a lie is useful, and even necessary. Linflas pointed out the most commonly quoted time. I personally think his situation is situation dependant. If it truely is a bad dress, the wife should know. If the wife truely is medically obese and would be healthier if she lost weight then she should know (but with the proper timing and wording of course).

But there are times when the situation is totally out of either of your controls, and the situation is not important. In that type of rare situation a white lie may be necessary.

 

[ggnl]

Originally posted by: Linflas
When your wife asks "Does this dress make me look fat?" there is only 1 correct answer to that no matter whether it makes her look fat or not so I have to answer yes.

or "Is she prettier than me?"

or "Would you still love me the same if I got fat and ugly?"

or "If I died tomorrow would you go find someone new?"


If women expected us to tell them the truth all the time they wouldn't ask such stupid questions. Of course guys do the same thing..


"Have you ever been with a guy bigger than me?"

or "How many guys have you slept with?"

or "Did anyone hit on you last night?"

 

[MisterJackson]

Originally posted by: HN

Originally posted by: zanieladie

Originally posted by: Linflas
When your wife asks "Does this dress make me look fat?" there is only 1 correct answer to that no matter whether it makes her look fat or not so I have to answer yes.

In that instance, you had better answer "NO" unless you want the evening ruined.LOL

i don't think he's saying "yes" to the "fat" question; rather, to the OP.

in any case, aren't we lying all the time with push-up bras, platform shoes, hair weaves, press on nails, contacts, cologne, etc...?

You leave my feminine beauty products out of this....uh oh, nevermind. Seriously though, my g/f saw me at my worst when she met me (laundary day clothes on, no shower, no shave, morning breath) and still said yes when I asked her out. But I see what you mean.

 

[AdamSnow]

Some things, you are probably better off not knowing...

 

[shimsham]

i cant think of any situation where lying would be best. even if you get a way with the little ones, they will compound and come back to haunt you.

Originally posted by: calvinbiss
ok, other than Linflas situation, you really shouldn't lie. If said girl is lying about getting hit on to protect bf's ego, there is something off about bf if his ego is that weak. Besides, why would it bother me if other guys come up to my chick. I know shes hot, and there's nothing she can do about it.

totally agree. why get all pissed off about an ego boost for your woman unless you have insecurity or trust issues?

 

[shimsham]

Originally posted by: ggnl

Originally posted by: Linflas
When your wife asks "Does this dress make me look fat?" there is only 1 correct answer to that no matter whether it makes her look fat or not so I have to answer yes.

or "Is she prettier than me?"

or "Would you still love me the same if I got fat and ugly?"

or "If I died tomorrow would you go find someone new?"


If women expected us to tell them the truth all the time they wouldn't ask such stupid questions. Of course guys do the same thing..


"Have you ever been with a guy bigger than me?"

or "How many guys have you slept with?"

or "Did anyone hit on you last night?"

true. but i dont see those as legitimate questions as much as fishing for compliments to make her feel good and loved. play it right and you wont have to be put in the position to have to many of those types of questions.

 

[JDrake]

Of course
sometimes it is even okay to lie to the pope

 

[anxi80]

Originally posted by: ggnl
If women expected us to tell them the truth all the time they wouldn't ask such stupid questions. Of course guys do the same thing..

"Have you ever been with a guy bigger than me?"

or "How many guys have you slept with?"

or "Did anyone hit on you last night?"

nice example! i was going to come in and mention the 'idiot gear'-example. this is a nice fight-starter and you see these things just eat up insecure guys.

 

[Saint Nick]

Lying about anything is bad, when communication fails, so does the relationship.

Lying is a communication failure, whether it be a "white lie" or a "big juicy lie". It's kind of one of those things where one things leads to another, one lie leads to a bigger lie... etc.

In your situation, where lets say your girlfriend goes out with her friends, and you ask "How many guys asked for your number?", I would still saying lying isn't a good idea, just because of what I stated before. Usually, I try to stay away from questions like that because it usually ends up causing some sort of tension. I am not afraid to ask my girlfriend about things that have happened to her in the past regarding previous boyfriends or hook ups, and she tells me anything I want to know. But questions like "how many guys asked for your number", I usually stray from.

 

[MisterJackson]

Originally posted by: jndietz
Lying about anything is bad, when communication fails, so does the relationship.

Lying is a communication failure, whether it be a "white lie" or a "big juicy lie". It's kind of one of those things where one things leads to another, one lie leads to a bigger lie... etc.

In your situation, where lets say your girlfriend goes out with her friends, and you ask "How many guys asked for your number?", I would still saying lying isn't a good idea, just because of what I stated before. Usually, I try to stay away from questions like that because it usually ends up causing some sort of tension. I am not afraid to ask my girlfriend about things that have happened to her in the past regarding previous boyfriends or hook ups, and she tells me anything I want to know. But questions like "how many guys asked for your number", I usually stray from.

A wise man once said "Never ask a question you're not prepared to hear the answer to."