Originally posted by: Format C:
Based upon your most eloquently stated and strongly expressed desire for seperatism I have taken the liberty of calling an emergency meeting of the representatives of all real Americans and having entertained and debated your proposal at great length and having duly placed it before the complete assemblage for a vote we have concluded and are all in unanimous agreement that we as a people will be more than happy for all of you enlightened people to peel off and go your own way. It is our estimation and strong belief that collectively and individually you grossly and completely overestimate your worth to the village, the state, the nation, and to the world community as a whole, and as it is our firmly held belief that having contributed virtually nothing of substance to that society which has indulgently suffered you so we posit that you will not now nor will you ever be missed. It is our firm intent and desire to be accommodating and more than fair concerning this matter therefore we will allow you to have first choice of 25 of our common States, with the non debateable nor negotiable caveat that those 25 you choose must adjoin each other. Save for Alaska & Hawaii of course, and we will even generously give you first choice between those two as well. Please consider your choices carefully, choose wisely, and please choose quickly, but please be certain that when you complete the process of choosing that the re-location begins immediately with all due haste and that it is thorough and permanent because those of us left behind which you have adjudged and found undeserving of your grace, benevolence, and superior intellect, have all a shared and rather burning desire to spend not one idle moment until we have completed construction upon a wall substantial in form and daunting in purpose from one end of our shared border to the other. We believe this formally permanent solution would be of great import and utmost benefit to both of our civilizations. Well, to ours anyway. Good-bye, good luck, have a good life. Don't call, don't write, don't come back.