Mistakes meaning improper behavior, bad habits, language, etc. At the prepubescent age of course. Is it all the parents' discipline that determine whom a kid is, or should factors such as the kid's friends be out of the parents' controls and therefore also defining who a child is?
Are parents completely to blame for a child's "mistakes"?
- Thread starter Shadow Conception
- Start date
The parents control who the kid's friends are. It all goes back to parenting, allow the kid to hang out with bad people = bad kid.
I'd say yes if the kid is a normal healthy child. The are mental and physical disorders that would change all that.
From where would a kid have the moral guidance with which to make decisions based off of?
A parent may not be able to control a kid's actions directly, but they mold every aspect of the child's life. (well, at home anyhow, at school is a different story)
ha, parents can't control everything. Eventually the kid will make his own choices, and the more controlling the parent, the more likely for rebellion against (of course, it's just my opinion).
Can a child be heavily influenced? yes. of course. but to say completely? no.
Although, if you want to get technical, I suppose since they conceived the child, yes.
You can control who the kid hangs out with and who their friends are. I guess I'm just going by my own upbringing. Me and another kid liked to play with gasoline, you know pour it into a bottle and light it and then shoot it with a shotgun. For many years both of our parents agreed that we should not be friends as nothing good would come of it.
A parent has total control over the environment and associations. If the parent doesn't exercise good parenting on this environment then it is still the parents fault. Reference parents letting their 26 year old kids still living at home.
Enabling behavior is still enabling behavior.
Of course not...no matter what is attempted everyone is an individual with a will of their own. The ultimate responsibility for all actions rests with the individual. If it's done often enough you can question various factors that may have contributed, but the responsibility is still on the individual.
DrPizza
Administrator Elite Member Goat Whisperer
Fixed for reality. I'm a teacher. I see kids day after day. Sure, out of 100 kids, I can say "keep your son away from xxxxx" for some of the kids. But you're pretty naive if you think you, as a parent, have much of a clue about all of the kids your child plays with. Sure, there are predictors of the types of parenting - 3 older siblings are valedictorians, active in their church, volunteer for all sorts of community service, parents are from a higher socio-economic status, etc. And, along comes child #4 who is simply rotten to the core, then child #5 is another angel.
I can also tell you that a lot of kids have the wool pulled right over their parents eyes, and the eyes of virtually every other adult who would never suspect the things that they do. When you look at survey results of types of negative behaviors that youth engage in, the percentage is wayyy higher than the percent of parents who believe that it's their children or their children's friends who are engaged in those behaviors.
Oh, and LOL at controlling who your kids hang out with. The best you can do is instill a good sense of values. By the time the kid is 7 or 8 years old, you're not going to change very much. Once they're allowed off your leash and out of your sight, you lose control of who they're with.
You'd like to think so. Maybe when they're 3 years old and you let little Tommy play with little Jimmy while you sit in the kitchen, visiting Jimmy's mom and dad. Other than that, you can control where they're at, but not necessarily who they're with, unless you never allow them out of the house.
A parent has ultimate control and influence over a child in the infant and pre-school years. A parent should take maximum advantage of that, and do the best they can to instill values, provide a good example (whoever said "monkey see monkey do" was spot on), and build a good relationship with the child. A child in a good relationship with a parent will want to do what the parent wants, provided there is positive reinforcement.
Then when a child enters school, the parent's influence and control begins to decrease, obviously more so as the child grows. A parent should do whatever can be done to maintain appropriate structure and insure safety as long as it doesn't become excessively intrusive. That point is where the parent needs to trust they've done the best they can, and hope for the best. That's all any parent can do. Every child has different temperaments, personalities, and some have issues that are beyond the parent's control, so there must be adjustment for that.
To answer the question more directly, it depends on the mistake. Even the best kids do stupid stuff, and they just need to learn better on their own by experiencing the consequences. That's life, and teaching a kid to deal with it. But if a kid does something s/he shouldn't over and over, there's something going on, and it likely originates in the family.
Then when a child enters school, the parent's influence and control begins to decrease, obviously more so as the child grows. A parent should do whatever can be done to maintain appropriate structure and insure safety as long as it doesn't become excessively intrusive. That point is where the parent needs to trust they've done the best they can, and hope for the best. That's all any parent can do. Every child has different temperaments, personalities, and some have issues that are beyond the parent's control, so there must be adjustment for that.
To answer the question more directly, it depends on the mistake. Even the best kids do stupid stuff, and they just need to learn better on their own by experiencing the consequences. That's life, and teaching a kid to deal with it. But if a kid does something s/he shouldn't over and over, there's something going on, and it likely originates in the family.
zerocool84
Lifer
- Nov 11, 2004
- 36,041
- 472
- 126
See this thread:
http://forums.anandtech.com/me...=2196210&enterthread=y
No kid that was raised properly, regardless of friends, would slap their own mother. You have to instill good values when young and build upon them when they are growing up.
http://forums.anandtech.com/me...=2196210&enterthread=y
No kid that was raised properly, regardless of friends, would slap their own mother. You have to instill good values when young and build upon them when they are growing up.
alkemyst
No Lifer
- Feb 13, 2001
- 83,769
- 19
- 81
parents today think they can't get their kids to listen but it's not because of the kids ultimately. It's due to them learning that no matter what they do the parents aren't going to put up a fight.
Lazy parents = parents that speak out that kids just don't listen anymore.
The screwed up thing is all these kids doing crimes get off too easily. Sure let them off as minors, but prosecute their parents as adults.
When parents start feeling the sting of their kids fucking up, then they will start getting their kids to behave...
Lazy parents = parents that speak out that kids just don't listen anymore.
The screwed up thing is all these kids doing crimes get off too easily. Sure let them off as minors, but prosecute their parents as adults.
When parents start feeling the sting of their kids fucking up, then they will start getting their kids to behave...
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