Are distance relationships dumb? Is mine?

[TJN23]

I was wondering everybody's take on distance relationships. Are they always doomed from the start? Does it depend on the couple?

My situation in a nut shell: I'm a junior in college dating a senior, and we've come a long way in a year and a half (wow thats scary!), but this past semester she spent in another country and will return soon, and next semester i'll be going abroad as well. Talk about good timing! :frown: So we're left w/ 9 weeks this summer and I'll come back from being abroad to spend 1 semester with her before she graduates. Who knows where she'll end then- she doesn't even know! She's just that adventurous type. And while I am too I just don't want distance to drive us apart. I feel we both have the will, otherwise we'd probably wouldn't have made it this far!!

Any comments/words o' wisdom?

 

[rgwalt]

Enjoy the summer and see where that leaves you. Take your semester abroad, and then enjoy your time together for the semester you have before she graduates. See where you are then, and you can work things out at the time. There is absolutely no reason to worry about something that you don't have control over. The most important thing you can do is enjoy every minute of time you spend with her, because you never know what the future holds. This is one of my biggest regrets.

Ryan

 

[GingerSynapse]

Long distance relationships can work well, if the people are devoted to each other. Look at military personnel and their marriages. Some of them have very deeply committed relationships, and the distance does not necessarily diminish that.

 

[TJN23]

Thanks Ryan...seems like good advice to me...why worry about something now that only the future "controls"

I definitely plan to take full advantage of the time we will have together. That is key. That is one of your regrets?

 

[DigDug]

How much devotion do you truly have? You don't know until you are apart.
How old are you? Devotion isn't something that college kids are always ready for.

I did exactly what you did, and you know what. I feel like I wasted part of my college experience.

 

[TJN23]

Devotion is something I do have, because I've learned over the course of a semester that while I can have an awesome time with my friends I know she makes me happy. An in terms of taking away from my 'college experience' i dont think it has, or think that years down the line. we're not the "couple that alienates themselves from the rest of the crowd". We're cool about being with our friends, but we're always conscious of not taking time away for us. and time has been a big thing lately. we're giving each other time to enjoy college as we're away from each other.

i guess i must sound like i'm beyond my years

 

[kru]

it's all about how badly you both want it to work. my current girlfriend lives in NZ and i'm relocating from L.A. first to Malaysia and then possibly to Singapore just to be closer to her. we're thinking about eventually settling down in Australia.

don't rush into anything, develop trust and communication in your relationship and if it's meant to be, it'll work out. g'luck.

 

[azim]

I think devotion and trust play a prime role. My fiancee has been in UK for over a year now...international long distance is next to rent on my phone bills....but heck its worth every minute!!!

Just make sure you guys keep talking, be open...and don't jump to conclusions about every little thing!!

azim