Yea I know I'm a month late but I've havent had a lot of time to read my pile of mags I get from work. After a long work week I'd thought I would share. I dont guarantee the joke will be funny 
.
Heres the joke that won the April $150 prize
Last Call
A man finds out he has five days to live and decides to have one last night out with the guys. He takes his
son to a strip club, and after all his friends have arrived he makes the announcement. "I've got bad news," he tells them. "Im dying of AIDS. This is the last time I'll ever see you guys." Once they get over their initial shock, his buddies start making toasts and buying him lap dances. "Hey, Dad," whispers the son. "Why did you tell everyone you're dying of AIDS? You've got cancer." "Shh," he says. "I dont want them banging your mother when Im gone."
-submitted by Cathleen Smith, Douglas, AZ.
Here are some of the other notables that made the mag:
Pontification
The Pope is on a goodwill tour in New York. As he's waving to the crowd, he sees a young boy puffing on a cigarette. "You're far too young to be smoking my son." says the Pope. "Fvck you," replies the boy.
"I beg your pardon, " says the Pope. "Do you know who I am? I'm the head of the entire Roman Catholic Church,
the spiritual leader for millions of people, and the representative of God himself. No, no, no kid. Fvck you!"
-submitted by Thomas Ramsey, Trinidad, CO.
Dirty Habits
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where St. Peter meets them at the Pearly Gates. Since they've all led exemplary lives, he lets each say any woman's name and she'll go back to Earth for six months as that person.
"Sophen Loren," says the first nun and poof, she disappears. "Madonna," says the second nun and she disappears, too. "Sara Piplini," says the third nun. "Who's that?" asks St. Peter. The nun hands him a newspaper clipping. He reads and says, "I'm sorry, sister but you've got it all wrong. Its the Sahara Pipeline that was laid by 1400 men in six months."
-submitted by Joseph Dole, Ivanhoe, IL
I got June's mag too if anyone is curious for Maxim's Hot 100 2003 listing no pics though since they aren't allowed.
.Heres the joke that won the April $150 prize
Last Call
A man finds out he has five days to live and decides to have one last night out with the guys. He takes his
son to a strip club, and after all his friends have arrived he makes the announcement. "I've got bad news," he tells them. "Im dying of AIDS. This is the last time I'll ever see you guys." Once they get over their initial shock, his buddies start making toasts and buying him lap dances. "Hey, Dad," whispers the son. "Why did you tell everyone you're dying of AIDS? You've got cancer." "Shh," he says. "I dont want them banging your mother when Im gone."
-submitted by Cathleen Smith, Douglas, AZ.
Here are some of the other notables that made the mag:
Pontification
The Pope is on a goodwill tour in New York. As he's waving to the crowd, he sees a young boy puffing on a cigarette. "You're far too young to be smoking my son." says the Pope. "Fvck you," replies the boy.
"I beg your pardon, " says the Pope. "Do you know who I am? I'm the head of the entire Roman Catholic Church,
the spiritual leader for millions of people, and the representative of God himself. No, no, no kid. Fvck you!"
-submitted by Thomas Ramsey, Trinidad, CO.
Dirty Habits
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where St. Peter meets them at the Pearly Gates. Since they've all led exemplary lives, he lets each say any woman's name and she'll go back to Earth for six months as that person.
"Sophen Loren," says the first nun and poof, she disappears. "Madonna," says the second nun and she disappears, too. "Sara Piplini," says the third nun. "Who's that?" asks St. Peter. The nun hands him a newspaper clipping. He reads and says, "I'm sorry, sister but you've got it all wrong. Its the Sahara Pipeline that was laid by 1400 men in six months."
-submitted by Joseph Dole, Ivanhoe, IL
I got June's mag too if anyone is curious for Maxim's Hot 100 2003 listing no pics though since they aren't allowed.
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