Originally posted by: StormRider
Is social anxiety related to low self-esteem? The fear you are not good enough for others? Or of embarrassing yourself? Or the fear of having people talk bad about you behind your back?
One of the reasons why I think I am avoiding social situations is because I'm afraid others will find out that I pretty much have no friends right now.
The weird part is that this feeling of "being different" occurred very early. I'm the oldest brother and I remember visiting family friends and relatives and they would always tease my younger brothers and ask them if they had any girlfriends. But they never asked me. So, I remember sometimes lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering if there was something wrong with me -- was I super ugly?
I remember in grade school, a girl was teasing and laughing with one of my friends but when she turned to me she just stopped.
I also remember noticing how my younger brothers were bigger than me "down there" and that didn't help with my self esteem either. And taking showers in junior high reinforced that.
In my junior year of high school I made a conscious effort to break past my shyness and started joining clubs like the Latin club (I also thought this was needed to get into college -- can't just rely on grades).
But my family moved and I had to go to a new high school for my senior year and I felt liked I regressed.
It's been downhill ever since then. I had to help out at my parent's restaurant til I was about 37 and that hindered some much needed social development.
