anyone here ever want to or have gotten married at 20??

imhotepmp

Golden Member
Mar 23, 2000
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Well guys i think ive found my wife already at age 20. Seems like we were made for eachother. It about 15months, and i know wat youre goin to say
its not enough time, but ive been in a relationship longer than this,I i certainly didnt feel like this. Though were not perfect(she can real nasty person sometimes). Im sure you guys know about this, dont piss youre woman off. :)
we want to get married, but we want to wait until we both get our degrees. Theres just two probs standing betw us, a a$$hole brother, who for no apparent reason hates my guts(we went to hs together) and very protective parents. In fact they dont know that were together, ive been over a few times, but not as her bf. So im going to wait. Ive wiated this long. I dont think that this puts too much pressure on our relationship, in the beginning yea. But ive excepted it very well now; well anywayz thats my story so maybe in a few years ill be walking fown the aisle with my angel :)
anyone else in this situation??
 

RSI

Diamond Member
May 22, 2000
7,281
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I am not in any similar situation... But I don't know how good of an idea it is to be seeing her behind her protective parents' backs.. Maybe it would be easier to just break the news to them? The brother can just STFU, he doesn't have a say in it, especially considering it's a grudge over nothing.

 

Viper GTS

Lifer
Oct 13, 1999
38,083
400
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Well, I'm pretty sure I've found my wife at 18. She's 20, & she's been my best friend for 9 months now. I plan on marrying her in 3 years or so, after she finishes school. I already have an AS, but I plan on going back to school during the time between now & then.

Now before anybody freaks out on me, most people would say I'm the equivalent of a 25 year old stuck in an 18 year old's body...so I don't worry too much about it.

:)

Viper GTS
 

Yeeny

Lifer
Feb 2, 2000
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Well, all I can say is I got married at 18, and it was HARD. And as for her protective parents, I would be too! If my daughter talks about getting married young I will be very upset. It is alot harder than people think it is. But it can work, if you are willing to work at it everyday.
 

Ulfwald

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
May 27, 2000
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TRUST ME, talk to the parents, let them know where you 2 stand. Waiting to get your degrees is good, shows maturity.

Tell thre brother to FOAD.
 

imhotepmp

Golden Member
Mar 23, 2000
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she hasnt told her parents that whe wants to get married!! They dont even know about us. Her parents are very strict, as most asian parents are(no flames plz, ive dates LOTS of asian girls and all their parents were very strict). So were just tlaking bout it. And as long as nothing goes wrong, were set!
 

Passions

Diamond Member
Feb 17, 2000
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oh great, plz dont tell me u have some asian fetish.

if her parents dont like u, u shouldnt marry. marriage is more than just 2 people, its a marriage of families. :)
 

Brooks

Banned
Oct 9, 1999
3,276
0
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I'm glad you've found your wife, honestly.

If its the case, its fine feeling like you would like to be married - just don't do it. Why rush things? I'm in the same thing with my girlfriend, we've been together 4-5 years (I'm 22 years), but why get married? She wants to, and we almost definitely will, but personally I'm in no rush, things are fine now - so why go through any changes?

Brooks
 

imhotepmp

Golden Member
Mar 23, 2000
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wtf, wat does an asian fetish have to do with anything? Did yu hear wat i said? obviosuly not, i simply said i have experience with dealign with parents, thats all. Dont try to place your fetishes on me
:)
 

Brooks

Banned
Oct 9, 1999
3,276
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My brother has an asian-fetish :) OK, thats off topic here though.

So anyway, you should try and get her parents to realize this stuff, but I realize it could be hard. If there is any chance of her parents forbidding your relationship once they find out, just go behind their back. Eventually when you're ready let them know. If they say &quot;you can't go out with him&quot; to your GF, I guess right then is where you find out whats gonna happen. Personally if my parents said I couldn't date somebody of the other race and its &quot;her or us&quot;, i'd say see your ass later to my parents, but maybe she is not like that. For myself I'd rather hang with my &quot;soul mate&quot; than parents who don't like it purely based on race, but who knows...eitherway it sucks, hopefully it will never get to that.

Brooks
 

imhotepmp

Golden Member
Mar 23, 2000
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exactly, were waiting for the right time. If her parents find out right now, theres no doubt that she woudl be in a tremendous amt of trouble. But weve talked about that, and i would face her parents up front. i woudl not want her to bare brunt of the trouble. she actually asked me to take her away,if one day they found out and wanted to forbid us froom seeing eachother. But i think after a couple more years(im pushing for a yr :) ) were goin to tell thm
 

Brooks

Banned
Oct 9, 1999
3,276
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Well good luck man it sounds like a bit of a romeo and juliet, hopefully nothing so tragic :p
 

Yeeny

Lifer
Feb 2, 2000
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Ok, how old is she? Because if she is an adult such as you are, why do you need to take her away? Why can't she just tell them she loves you, and that be it? I am just wondering, not trying to sound critical.
 

imhotepmp

Golden Member
Mar 23, 2000
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she is an adult(20 im almost 21 woohoo!) but i would have to take her away becaz 1)either her parents would boot her out(possible but not likely) 2) they would make her life a living hell
and i def dont want that
 

Yeeny

Lifer
Feb 2, 2000
10,848
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Well, just some food for thought. If she is afraid to tell them she is seeing you, what is she going to do when you guys get married? I can understand she is in school, and needs to stay with her parents. But it just might be hard for her to ever stand up to them.
 

imhotepmp

Golden Member
Mar 23, 2000
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thanx girlfriday, weve talked about that, and shes jsut not ready yet. in my previous post i said two years, maybe one and thn we tell them
thats the plan
 

compuwiz1

Admin Emeritus Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
27,104
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Hey, I got married at 19 to an Asian! The parents are no problem at all, we just never talk to them (actually, we see her mom regualarly, who lives here, Dad's a jerk). They are 3 states away (her dad and step mom). We're going on 22 years. BTW, we only dated 2 mos, then eloped. She's been a great wife and mother, as well as my best friend. :D
 

MrsSkywalker

Member
Jun 30, 2000
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First, to BOBBY RIBS: That is possibly the worst advice I've ever heard! Yes, a marriage is to a person and not the whole family. If the family wants to take an active role in their child's new family, that's great. But you can't tell the poor guy not to get married because her parents have some beef with him. In-laws are in-laws, and no matter what they may say, there is always some resentment at first. After all, &quot;No one can take care of my little girl as well as I can!&quot; The parents will either work through these feelings, or they won't. I'm not saying that imhotepmp should do anything to make matters more difficult, like forbid her to see her parents, but her parents need to realize that she is an adult who is in love, and they have no say in the matter.

That said, imhotepmp: I knew from the moment I met my husband (BenSkywalker) that he was it. I was 19 at the time. Now, years later, I still feel the same way. I could not then, or now, picture myself with anyone else. I am a firm believer that you can fall in genuine, lasting love at that age. However, a piece of advice...we were ready to get married back then, but we waited for financial reasons, and I'm glad we did (I was 21 when we got married). The wedding day was none the less more special because we waited. In fact, I think it was a good choice to wait. Go with your heart, but realize that marriage is a promise, the most important one you'll ever make. Too many people do not take the words&quot;I do&quot; seriously enough. Just be sure it is what you both want. Also, one more little bit of advice: discuss kids, goals, even have a cats vs. dogs debate before you decide to get married. So may couples have problems simply because they were not clear about what each person wanted and expected out of life and the relationship before they entered into marriage. If you disagree on something, it's better to know and work through it before you say &quot;I do&quot;. Good luck! :)
 

imhotepmp

Golden Member
Mar 23, 2000
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oh yeah mrsskywalkr
weve talked about all that and more
we always takl about how many kids we want( i say 2 she says 3 :)
whr were gone to live.
ok here comes the corny stuff :)
its great to know that someone wants to spend the rest of their lives with. its the best feeling in the world to be in love
:)
:)
ahhh
thanks for all the advice guys, except bobby
sorry man i disagree with you
:)
 

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