anyone here ever been to relationship counseling?

[huberm]

so i agreed to go to relationship counseling with my ex. We have been to 4 one hour sessions. Each one we are separated and all they do is MINDFVCK exercises (ie drawing pictures, getting a blank sheet of paper with a question on it you have to answer, etc). When do they start counseling about the relationship????

 

[SilentZero]

No, but am considering it.

 

[BriGy86]

when your check book is almost dry

 

[KarenMarie]

I went to relationship counseling a few times .... after the third session, the counselor gave her the phone number to a collegue of hers... who specialized in ammicable break ups... hahaha


we did in fact break up about 6 months later.

 

[myusername]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
I went to relationship counseling a few times .... after the third session, the counselor gave her the phone number to a collegue of hers

The truth comes out!

 

[Linux23]

Originally posted by: BriGy86
when your check book is almost dry

 

[Terumo]

Originally posted by: huberm
so i agreed to go to relationship counseling with my ex. We have been to 4 one hour sessions. Each one we are separated and all they do is MINDFVCK exercises (ie drawing pictures, getting a blank sheet of paper with a question on it you have to answer, etc). When do they start counseling about the relationship????

When they're finished with the inventories and batteries. They have to get the background from each of you, and then when they have the "missing parts", they'll call both of you in together.

If they didn't, it'll be just a rehash session.

What's important is to lay it bare and tell the psych the low down. If you hide the resentments and all, it's going to rear up in the joint session -- the "ah" factor for the psych.

They may appear to be dumb and you may think you can fool them, but they'll eventually find out what's behind door #3 when the mouth opens -- which is your "ah" factor.

Psychology is about discoverying what's hidden. When it's free from the walls of suppression, a lightbulb moment comes. Then you can see what's been missing. For some that's very difficult to unchain, and MFT won't work (takes too long --- MFT counselling is time limited).

Terumo

 

[y2kc]

I went. We actually went to 3 different counselors during our relationship. She played the sympathy card each time which resulted in nothing getting accomplished as she played victim each time spouting manipulative tears on cue when I tried to point out her misgivings, heartless broad had no feelings. the tears were fake...

The last time we went was to her Pastor (she turned Jesus freak on me about 10 years in). That resulted in him and I almost coming to blows (I called him out, he declined). note: Pastors, men of the cloth or whatever you want to call them are terrible marriage counselors, especially if one is not a believer.

So I went 3 times and I'm divorced (thank goodness). third time was not the charm...

 

[mrrman]

its a joke...I walked out and never went back..

 

[Kadarin]

I went to one with my ex before we broke up, and I felt it was utterly useless and a waste of money. Since then I've learned that when relationships go bad, the signs are typically quite apparent, and the relatinship should be ended, not drawn out over months and months of pure misery.

 

[Ronstang]

In most cases by the time you need counseling the damage is too great to save the relationship but the conselors will take all the money you want to give them because they get paid regarless of outcome.

 

[aidanjm]

Originally posted by: Ronstang
but the conselors will take all the money you want to give them because they get paid regarless of outcome.

yeah, they trained to do that job, it is their career, they are hardly going to do it for free. do you resent paying for the services of other professionals like car repair people, builders, plumbers, etc?

 

[huberm]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: Ronstang
but the conselors will take all the money you want to give them because they get paid regarless of outcome.

yeah, they trained to do that job, it is their career, they are hardly going to do it for free. do you resent paying for the services of other professionals like car repair people, builders, plumbers, etc?

at least they fix the problem you hired them to fix?

 

[Ramma2]

Relationships aren't a requirement. If one isn't working, then get rid of it!

You can't polish a turd.