Anyone have a list of funny stuff you can say to telemarketers?

[GoldenBear]

One of those spam like lists where if you don't forward them you get 5 years of bad luck?

 

[John]

Tell them you are not home, and to remove you from the "list".

 

[Cooltech2k]

hmmmm... I Think The Best is to demand to be removed from there list & Then to demand that they send you a copy of the list (in hardcopy) so that you can see that you are nolonger on it. & They Got to do it.

Either that Or I Just say I Work For them so they are wasting there time... Or When I Had ATT Call & Guarantee that they could beet my current carrier. They Got to send me a check for 26 dollars cause I was an azz & Faxed them a copy of my current program that saw MCI crediting 25 dollars towards long distance automatically (I used to work for MCI). They Havent called since.

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

i was with my pop when he got a call from one of these on his cell phone. boy was he pissed. he asked the guy where he got the number, the guy said something and my dad said no and to stop and the guy said some remark and my dad told him to shut he smart ass mouth. then asked his name again the the company he worked for. then proceeded to tell him if he or anyone else from that company ever called him again he would find where it was and come beat the sh!t out of him. i don't think my pop was too impressed with them

 

[FrontlineWarrior]

lol

 

[rangeLife]

tell them you are god, and that you can't be trifled with such insignificant things as (insert marketing ploy here)

it'll work if you stick with it

 

[al4k28]

When you've got a lot of people in the room... just keep passing the phone around! {after they have finished their pitch} "You're looking for who? ..oh I'm sorry, hold on..." you'd be amazed at how many times they will repeat their pitch. We did this for a newspaper recruiter and after 15 minutes the person said "you people are so immature" and finally hung up on us!

 

[Cycad]

My grandpa just tells them to wait a minute then puts the phone down and waits for them to hang up. I think that is pretty funny.

 

[SackOfAllTrades]

I once told environmentalists that I worked for the tobacco industry and that I loved my job.

 

[convex]

be obscene with them

 

[TripleJ]

Reply to them and ask them an adjectival bucket load of questions. If they don't reply to them then you can say there's a bit of double-standards. I did that to a marketer on the phone before they could ask me any questions. I got to about questions 60 when she had had enough and hung up.
ME:"Please, just a few more, it'll only take a couple of minutes"
HER:"No, I've really had enough and I've got a job to do"
ME:"Well so do I!"

 

[damocles]

My grandpa just tells them to wait a minute then puts the phone down and waits for them to hang up


I like it

 

[Asha'man]

when they call me on my cell I just keep talking to them for a long while, never buy anything or so but I usually let them say what they are going to say and ask some questions and then I just go nah i'm not interested...oh yeah I get $.025 for every minute recieved on my cell

if it'´s on my regular phone I just tell them no thanks

Asha'man

 

[NakaNaka]

have them go on their whole speial (spell) and then say like sorry can you repeat that i didnt hear you.

 

[kw3i]

lol

 

[huey1124]

damn, Cycad beat me to it. (that is actually what i do when i get calls. and no, i'm not Cycad's grandpa)


hmmm... how about asking the telemarketer if he/she is naked. if not, then what color underwear is he/she wearing? then you can do some heavy breathing and stuff.

 

[cherrytwist]

Telemarketer: Blah, blah blah...(eventually asks a question)
Me: Can I ask you a question?
Telemarketer: Sure!
Me: Can I have your home phone number?
Telemarketer: (pause) No, you cannot.
Me: Why not?
Telemarketer: (pause)
Me: Let me guess. You don't anybody bothering you at home, right?
Telembarkter: (confused) Well, no.
Me: Neither do I! (click!)

 

[SuperSix]

Try HERE.

 

[Pastore]

Like I said in a previous post, Dont hate the player, hate the game

 

[happykitten]

My old high school teacher used to keep a whistle by the phone.

I thought that was pretty mean. Poor telemarketers... they're just doing their job.

 

[Gorgonzola]

my most common one is "piss off"

but if you want to make it fun, you can turn the conversation around and act like you thought you called them, and ask them all sorts of annoying questions.

if only they blacklisted people that did this sorta thing, that way we'd never hear from them again.

 

[propellerhead]

I have one of those hard to pronounce foreign sounding names. If the caller cannot pronounce my name, I interrupt and ask them if they are trying to sell me something. They usually say "Yes", or "Well, I'd like to let you hear about this great new product..." At that point, I already have them derailed and confused. I'm sure they are just following some checklist on what to say. In most cases, I simply say, "Sorry, not interested" and politely end the call.

 

[xraymongral]

Go here for some funny telemarketer stuff. I have heard this guy on the radio, and heard his cd's.

Myself, I try to be friendly and personable as I can be, talk to them about the weather, where they are calling from. Ask chicks if they are single, if not, if there boyfriends ever get jealous that they talk to so many men every day. Might ask them if they have ever talked dirty on the phone ...silly stuff like that. I have kept one telemarketer on the phone for almost an hour once. Ok, so sometimes I need to get a life! But when I have time to kill, and a TM calls...fun, fun, fun.

 

[Pliablemoose]

I ask for their name, their company's name, and then ask for their supervisor, make them aware that I want on their "do not call list" and that they've now been warned, the Texas Public Utilities Commission charges $5,000/offense. I don't get the damn calls anymore...

 

[Hamburgerpimp]

I always say I'm the contractor doing work in the house. Then they ask why the heck I'm working on a house at 9:00PM. I say, WTF, I don't know, the owners are in the Bahamas or something. Call back in a couple months. Either that, or I redirect them to one of my friends phone numbers!