Anyone else completely lose interest in their pregnancy when they found out the baby was the wrong sex?

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thepd7

Diamond Member
Jan 2, 2005
9,423
0
0
Originally posted by: Jumpem
Originally posted by: RichardE
I get the feeling you would enjoy your son playing with Barbies

That might make him catch the gay. Legos and G.I. Joe would be cool.

I have a feeling if this happens it will be infinitely more due to the lack of love you give him and the weak male role model you represent to him than any toys he might play with.
 

ric1287

Diamond Member
Nov 29, 2005
4,845
0
0
Originally posted by: Mrvile
Hmm.

I just read through the entire thread and actually just talked about it with my girlfriend who I was on the phone with. I thought I'd point it out to her (who could give a shit about ATOT) because I found the thread rather peculiar.

Anyway, I personally don't agree with the OP and had the same "WTF?" thought when I read the first post. I personally wouldn't have any preference of gender if and when I have a kid because raising a boy and raising a girl are two such different things that it's very difficult to compare which one I would prefer. But after reading through the OP's comments I realized that the OP is serious and I took this thread a bit more seriously. I continued reading and glossed over the "you fucking worthless douchebag" posts which I expected from the best of ATOT and came across a few enlightening posts in the mess of all the other verbal garbage. It's pretty clear that the OP feels a certain way and doesn't want to feel that way. That happens to me a lot too. I feel a lot of emotions that I would rather not, but ultimately I have little control over my emotions most of the time. And I imagine most people tend to be the same (just look at the responses in this thread).

I'm a little taken aback by the response to this guy's issue from ATOT. I mean, it really sounds like this guy has a problem, but calling him a "fucking worthless douchebag" isn't going to help at all. I applaud those who actually took the time to write out a response that would mean anything to the OP - it takes a lot of guts to help out someone in need when a powerful bandwagon like that of ATOT's is absolutely plowing towards them on such a narrow, one-way street. And again, while I may not agree with the OP's thinking, I can point out a lot of others in this thread who I agree with even less. Their posts are the reason why ATOT makes me sadder sometimes than posts like the OP's.

Why else do I come here then. Sometimes it can be entertaining.

As for the OP, I simply think he will outgrow it. It's his first child, after all, and those of you who have had children should know that a first child can instill all kinds of emotions - often uncontrolled. But the OP sounds like the kind of person in whom human nature will take its course and he will grow to love his child as much as the rest of you love yours.

I can tell some of you have a lot more growing to do than the OP himself.

This can apply to a lot of posts here...but not this one. If you planned having the child, you knew going in that it was 50/50 of being your "preferred" sex. If you went in knowing you'd be pissed if it was a boy, then you should not have had a kid in the first place. Shit, just adopt if you're going to act like its a pet hamster.

Honestly, I feel sorry for the boy that will be brought up by an ungrateful, unloving father that cares more about picking out cute pink clothes than raising a fucking child.

I hope you grow out of it truthfully. But it makes it easier to see why there are so many fucked up people in this world when they are raised by people like the OP.
 

seemingly random

Diamond Member
Oct 10, 2007
5,277
0
0
Originally posted by: vi edit
Doesn't anyone wait until the baby is delivered to find out what it is anymore? My wife and I chose the "surprise" route and it actually pissed people off. There wasn't another expecting couple that we knew that didn't find out early. Out of 15+ expecting couples we knew during our pregnancy we were the only ones not peaking on the sonograms.
...
Good for you. As if we didn't survive 40,000 years without it...
 

HannibalX

Diamond Member
May 12, 2000
9,359
2
0
I have a son on the way! Couldn't be happier! :D I would be just as excited if it were a girl instead. OP has issues.
 

HannibalX

Diamond Member
May 12, 2000
9,359
2
0
Originally posted by: seemingly random
Originally posted by: vi edit
Doesn't anyone wait until the baby is delivered to find out what it is anymore? My wife and I chose the "surprise" route and it actually pissed people off. There wasn't another expecting couple that we knew that didn't find out early. Out of 15+ expecting couples we knew during our pregnancy we were the only ones not peaking on the sonograms.
...
Good for you. As if we didn't survive 40,000 years without it...

It was hard for us NOT to know. The ultra-sound clearly showed his massive wang. It was hard to miss. :laugh:
 

chusteczka

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2006
3,399
3
71
Originally posted by: thetxstang
Originally posted by: chusteczka
Possibly the most important concept in any business client service position, such as an account manager, is to manage the client's expectations. It is bad to let a client expect to receive something and then not deliver this expectation to them. Similarly, it can be bad to fail to meet a manager's expectations in an aspect such as job performance.

That's probably the most shallow, least apropos and lamest analogy I've ever seen on this bored. Truly. We're not talking about managing client's expectations with business concerns, we're discussing a living, breathing, human baby. There is a significant difference between the two.

Sure, anyone could feel initially disappointed when learning a baby's sex isn't what they were hoping for, but the OP is emphasizing and concentrating on the fact that he won't be able to buy cute clothes for a daughter. Furthermore, he doesn't want a son because he doesn't like sports and dreads the prospect of having to toss a ball with one. Geez...

Every issue involves multiple aspects. One aspect to this issue is that of managing expectations. The provided example is how I learned the importance of managing expectations.

The OP expected a girl, will not get a girl, and is now disappointed. Redirecting his disappointment from his baby to understanding his expectations can help him to regain some enthusiasm for the baby.

thetxstang, if your mind is open then you may have just learned something.
 

StinkyPinky

Diamond Member
Jul 6, 2002
6,885
1,099
126
Originally posted by: seemingly random
Originally posted by: vi edit
Doesn't anyone wait until the baby is delivered to find out what it is anymore? My wife and I chose the "surprise" route and it actually pissed people off. There wasn't another expecting couple that we knew that didn't find out early. Out of 15+ expecting couples we knew during our pregnancy we were the only ones not peaking on the sonograms.
...
Good for you. As if we didn't survive 40,000 years without it...

So what? Lots of things these days are different from what ancient people did. Knowing what gender it is (pretty obvious for us it was a boy) makes it easier to plan. You can buy clothes before he's born, and people in the family know what gifts to buy as well. Not a big deal IMO.
 

Azraele

Elite Member
Nov 5, 2000
16,524
29
91
I can understand being a bit disappointed when you found out it wasn't the sex that you were hoping for, but to use the terms"wrong sex" implies that this child is like a food order that the establishment you ordered at got wrong. It is wrong to think like that. There is no "wrong" sex for your child. What's important is that your son is healthy and happy. Try to focus on what you can share with him, and impart to him, what sort of trials and successes he might have, how to encourage him to do what's right and be the best that he can be. He's going to rely on you. He certainly didn't ask to be made a boy, that's just who he is and he should be loved and accepted as such. Seek counseling if you don't think that you can.
 

Capt Caveman

Lifer
Jan 30, 2005
34,543
651
126
Originally posted by: ric1287
Originally posted by: Mrvile
Hmm.

I just read through the entire thread and actually just talked about it with my girlfriend who I was on the phone with. I thought I'd point it out to her (who could give a shit about ATOT) because I found the thread rather peculiar.

Anyway, I personally don't agree with the OP and had the same "WTF?" thought when I read the first post. I personally wouldn't have any preference of gender if and when I have a kid because raising a boy and raising a girl are two such different things that it's very difficult to compare which one I would prefer. But after reading through the OP's comments I realized that the OP is serious and I took this thread a bit more seriously. I continued reading and glossed over the "you fucking worthless douchebag" posts which I expected from the best of ATOT and came across a few enlightening posts in the mess of all the other verbal garbage. It's pretty clear that the OP feels a certain way and doesn't want to feel that way. That happens to me a lot too. I feel a lot of emotions that I would rather not, but ultimately I have little control over my emotions most of the time. And I imagine most people tend to be the same (just look at the responses in this thread).

I'm a little taken aback by the response to this guy's issue from ATOT. I mean, it really sounds like this guy has a problem, but calling him a "fucking worthless douchebag" isn't going to help at all. I applaud those who actually took the time to write out a response that would mean anything to the OP - it takes a lot of guts to help out someone in need when a powerful bandwagon like that of ATOT's is absolutely plowing towards them on such a narrow, one-way street. And again, while I may not agree with the OP's thinking, I can point out a lot of others in this thread who I agree with even less. Their posts are the reason why ATOT makes me sadder sometimes than posts like the OP's.

Why else do I come here then. Sometimes it can be entertaining.

As for the OP, I simply think he will outgrow it. It's his first child, after all, and those of you who have had children should know that a first child can instill all kinds of emotions - often uncontrolled. But the OP sounds like the kind of person in whom human nature will take its course and he will grow to love his child as much as the rest of you love yours.

I can tell some of you have a lot more growing to do than the OP himself.

This can apply to a lot of posts here...but not this one. If you planned having the child, you knew going in that it was 50/50 of being your "preferred" sex. If you went in knowing you'd be pissed if it was a boy, then you should not have had a kid in the first place. Shit, just adopt if you're going to act like its a pet hamster.

Honestly, I feel sorry for the boy that will be brought up by an ungrateful, unloving father that cares more about picking out cute pink clothes than raising a fucking child.

I hope you grow out of it truthfully. But it makes it easier to see why there are so many fucked up people in this world when they are raised by people like the OP.

Yep, the OP is immature and has serious issues. A shrink should be in his future.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
Originally posted by: RKS
If not I could get you in touch with a neighbor. Her boys hate dirt and always dress up to even come outside and play on a swingset, there are not allowed to climb trees, play in the dirt, and all Hell breaks loose if they try to take off their Crocs and let their feet get dirty.

tell us more about playtime with RKS?
 

seemingly random

Diamond Member
Oct 10, 2007
5,277
0
0
Originally posted by: StinkyPinky
Originally posted by: seemingly random
Originally posted by: vi edit
Doesn't anyone wait until the baby is delivered to find out what it is anymore? My wife and I chose the "surprise" route and it actually pissed people off. There wasn't another expecting couple that we knew that didn't find out early. Out of 15+ expecting couples we knew during our pregnancy we were the only ones not peaking on the sonograms.
...
Good for you. As if we didn't survive 40,000 years without it...

So what? Lots of things these days are different from what ancient people did. Knowing what gender it is (pretty obvious for us it was a boy) makes it easier to plan. You can buy clothes before he's born, and people in the family know what gifts to buy as well. Not a big deal IMO.
Not a big deal in my opinion either. What I think is a big deal is other people getting into a tizzy if the latest technology isn't used - sonograms or anything else for that matter. Ever gone a day or more without electricity? or running water? It's a shocker the first time but I hear people used to do it all the time.
 

Jumpem

Lifer
Sep 21, 2000
10,757
3
81
Originally posted by: Mrvile
Hmm.

I just read through the entire thread and actually just talked about it with my girlfriend who I was on the phone with. I thought I'd point it out to her (who could give a shit about ATOT) because I found the thread rather peculiar.

Anyway, I personally don't agree with the OP and had the same "WTF?" thought when I read the first post. I personally wouldn't have any preference of gender if and when I have a kid because raising a boy and raising a girl are two such different things that it's very difficult to compare which one I would prefer. But after reading through the OP's comments I realized that the OP is serious and I took this thread a bit more seriously. I continued reading and glossed over the "you fucking worthless douchebag" posts which I expected from the best of ATOT and came across a few enlightening posts in the mess of all the other verbal garbage. It's pretty clear that the OP feels a certain way and doesn't want to feel that way. That happens to me a lot too. I feel a lot of emotions that I would rather not, but ultimately I have little control over my emotions most of the time. And I imagine most people tend to be the same (just look at the responses in this thread).

I'm a little taken aback by the response to this guy's issue from ATOT. I mean, it really sounds like this guy has a problem, but calling him a "fucking worthless douchebag" isn't going to help at all. I applaud those who actually took the time to write out a response that would mean anything to the OP - it takes a lot of guts to help out someone in need when a powerful bandwagon like that of ATOT's is absolutely plowing towards them on such a narrow, one-way street. And again, while I may not agree with the OP's thinking, I can point out a lot of others in this thread who I agree with even less. Their posts are the reason why ATOT makes me sadder sometimes than posts like the OP's.

Why else do I come here then. Sometimes it can be entertaining.

As for the OP, I simply think he will outgrow it. It's his first child, after all, and those of you who have had children should know that a first child can instill all kinds of emotions - often uncontrolled. But the OP sounds like the kind of person in whom human nature will take its course and he will grow to love his child as much as the rest of you love yours.

I can tell some of you have a lot more growing to do than the OP himself.

You are correct. I do not want to feel this way, I simply do. I wish I didn't, and knew what I could do to help it. Hopefully, it will pass.
 

TehMac

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2006
9,976
3
71
Originally posted by: BoberFett
Yeah, well I will insult you.

Learn to use proper capitalization, punctuation, and spelling moron. God forbid you ever spread your unintelligent seed in the world. I'd rather see the OP have ten unwanted children than see you father a single retarded crotch dumpling.

I don't quite understand what you're going for here: Anandtech's biggest loser?


You consistently try to insult me, yet all you can come up with at the end of the day is a botched comprehension of what I was saying that makes you look all the less intelligent.

You need to follow your own advice about "crotch dumplings" and instead of trying to catch chicks, you should spend some time at your local library instead; preferably gaining a larger grasp on the human language. I say human because you lack even the basic skills of communication.



 

yhelothar

Lifer
Dec 11, 2002
18,407
39
91
Originally posted by: Mrvile
Hmm.

I just read through the entire thread and actually just talked about it with my girlfriend who I was on the phone with. I thought I'd point it out to her (who could give a shit about ATOT) because I found the thread rather peculiar.

Anyway, I personally don't agree with the OP and had the same "WTF?" thought when I read the first post. I personally wouldn't have any preference of gender if and when I have a kid because raising a boy and raising a girl are two such different things that it's very difficult to compare which one I would prefer. But after reading through the OP's comments I realized that the OP is serious and I took this thread a bit more seriously. I continued reading and glossed over the "you fucking worthless douchebag" posts which I expected from the best of ATOT and came across a few enlightening posts in the mess of all the other verbal garbage. It's pretty clear that the OP feels a certain way and doesn't want to feel that way. That happens to me a lot too. I feel a lot of emotions that I would rather not, but ultimately I have little control over my emotions most of the time. And I imagine most people tend to be the same (just look at the responses in this thread).

I'm a little taken aback by the response to this guy's issue from ATOT. I mean, it really sounds like this guy has a problem, but calling him a "fucking worthless douchebag" isn't going to help at all. I applaud those who actually took the time to write out a response that would mean anything to the OP - it takes a lot of guts to help out someone in need when a powerful bandwagon like that of ATOT's is absolutely plowing towards them on such a narrow, one-way street. And again, while I may not agree with the OP's thinking, I can point out a lot of others in this thread who I agree with even less. Their posts are the reason why ATOT makes me sadder sometimes than posts like the OP's.

Why else do I come here then. Sometimes it can be entertaining.

As for the OP, I simply think he will outgrow it. It's his first child, after all, and those of you who have had children should know that a first child can instill all kinds of emotions - often uncontrolled. But the OP sounds like the kind of person in whom human nature will take its course and he will grow to love his child as much as the rest of you love yours.

I can tell some of you have a lot more growing to do than the OP himself.

It's not his emotions that bothers us so much as his attitude.
You may not be able to control your emotions, but you can control your attitude.
 

Oceandevi

Diamond Member
Jan 20, 2006
3,085
1
0
Originally posted by: Jumpem
Originally posted by: cliftonite
What difference does it make? He is still your child.

I wanted a girl. Little girls are cute, boys are just sort of meh.

I only have female dogs, but my reasons concerning pet ownership make more sense than your weird ass logic.

Oh wait maybe nobody ever told you. Its roughly a 50/50 chance. There are only 2 sexes and you really ought to get used to it.
 

Oceandevi

Diamond Member
Jan 20, 2006
3,085
1
0
Originally posted by: BoberFett
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: BoberFett
Originally posted by: Jumpem
Found out it was going ot be a boy two days ago. It went from being an exciting time, to indifference. I'm not even remotely interested anymore.

I don't feel like going to doctors appointments, and I got irritated and left Babies R Us last night after seeing other people with baby girls and I couldn't buy any of the cute stuff. I didn't think I would care too much what we were having, but now I feel pretty devastated. :(

I'm sure you'll get nothing but disgust from the ATOT Righteous Brigade, but don't worry about it.

I actually didn't like my daughter much at all for the first year she was born. Lots of other issues between my wife and I at the time didn't help, and we did eventually split up. But I warmed up to my little girl and now we have a great relationship. She's nine years old and I couldn't imagine life without her.

It may take some time but I'm sure you'll get over it.


it has nothing to do with the "ATOT Righteous Brigade", it's unnatural for a parent not to like their child.

Unnatural? Really? Prove it.

You have a hormonal imbalance.
 

paulxcook

Diamond Member
May 1, 2005
4,277
1
0
My wife is pregnant. I go back and forth between wanting a boy and not caring at all. If we have a girl (won't find out for a few more weeks) I will still be thrilled. There have been times that I've actually thought to myself that I wanted a girl instead. So I'm in the happy position of being happy as long as the baby is healthy.

I feel sorry for you and for your upcoming son. Hopefully your attitude will change. If it doesn't, fake it until a more sincere feeling develops. That is the right thing to do, you are his father.
 

Oceandevi

Diamond Member
Jan 20, 2006
3,085
1
0
Originally posted by: manowar821
Originally posted by: Jumpem
Originally posted by: Cadop
It's a shame you are actually creating offspring who may have the same beliefs as you. :shake head:

Don't worry he'll be listening to Rush and watchong O'reilly. :)

... christ...

yes he will go to jesus camp and meet christ also.

RIGHTEOUS JUDGES!!!
 

BoberFett

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
37,562
9
81
Originally posted by: TehMac
Originally posted by: BoberFett
Yeah, well I will insult you.

Learn to use proper capitalization, punctuation, and spelling moron. God forbid you ever spread your unintelligent seed in the world. I'd rather see the OP have ten unwanted children than see you father a single retarded crotch dumpling.

I don't quite understand what you're going for here: Anandtech's biggest loser?

Fear not, I'll never wrest that title from you.


You consistently try to insult me, yet all you can come up with at the end of the day is a botched comprehension of what I was saying that makes you look all the less intelligent.

The only thing that was botched was the abortion your mom had while she was pregnant with you.

You need to follow your own advice about "crotch dumplings" and instead of trying to catch chicks, you should spend some time at your local library instead; preferably gaining a larger grasp on the human language. I say human because you lack even the basic skills of communication.

Are you suggesting I take lessons on communication from you?

Originally posted by a moron:

OMFG THERE ARE NO COLORS FOR BOYS WAHH WAHH WAHH WAHHH!!!


What the fuck?? What kind of people post and BREED on this forum???


You'd want a certain gender based almost completely on how they'd dress???


What the fuck is wrong with people?

I think I'll pass. I'd have a better chance learning proper English from Koko the gorilla.
 

BoberFett

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
37,562
9
81
Originally posted by: Oceandevi
Originally posted by: BoberFett
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: BoberFett
Originally posted by: Jumpem
Found out it was going ot be a boy two days ago. It went from being an exciting time, to indifference. I'm not even remotely interested anymore.

I don't feel like going to doctors appointments, and I got irritated and left Babies R Us last night after seeing other people with baby girls and I couldn't buy any of the cute stuff. I didn't think I would care too much what we were having, but now I feel pretty devastated. :(

I'm sure you'll get nothing but disgust from the ATOT Righteous Brigade, but don't worry about it.

I actually didn't like my daughter much at all for the first year she was born. Lots of other issues between my wife and I at the time didn't help, and we did eventually split up. But I warmed up to my little girl and now we have a great relationship. She's nine years old and I couldn't imagine life without her.

It may take some time but I'm sure you'll get over it.


it has nothing to do with the "ATOT Righteous Brigade", it's unnatural for a parent not to like their child.

Unnatural? Really? Prove it.

You have a hormonal imbalance.

404 Proof not found

Conjecture by some random person and an attention whore on an internet forum is not proof.