anybody need any quickbooks help?

[kermalou]

i just became a Quickbooks Certified Professional and know most of the ins and outs of quickbooks, so shoot me your questions and I'll see if i can help you.


i will have an answer for every question.

 

[Hubris]

Originally posted by: kermalou
i will have an answer for every question.

Why does it burn when I pee?

 

[kermalou]

Originally posted by: Hubris

Originally posted by: kermalou
i will have an answer for every question.

Why does it burn when I pee?

can be chlamydia

or

Excellent question, Hubris, and one that I?ve asked myself many times over the years. In my case, I never did find out what the cause was, but for some reason it went away when I divorced my ex-wife. Odd.

Anyway, let?s see if we can figure out why it burns when you pee. Common causes of a burning sensation during urination include, but are not limited to, having sexual intercourse with zoo chimps, excessive consumption of paper clips, drinking gasoline through your pecker, and using your pecker as a pencil holder. Have you done any of those things? If so, do you have any pictures that I can post on my web site?

One other potential cause of burning when you piss is eating Snickers bars. Allow me to explain. The Snickers corporation is currently running a contest aimed at the 18 - 34 male demographic. Chemical irritants that cause painful urination are put in one out of every 30,000,000 Snickers bars. The grand prize is $47 million, so if it hurts when you piss, you may be in luck. But before you can collect your winnings, the Snickers corporation must validate your ?game piece?. Simply cut off your pecker and mail it to:

Snickers Corporation
Burning Piss Promotion
PO Box 4873
Chicago, IL 60009

Also, be sure to clearly label the box ?Contents of package: My pecker? so that they will know to treat your package with the utmost care, or at the very least leave it on a female coworker?s desk whom everybody hates. Please be aware that all submitted peckers become property of the Snickers corporation and may be used for future promotions or nailed to a wall.

What if none of the above reasons can account for your throbbing johnson? Let me ask you a question: Have you been dating my ex-wife?

 

[loup garou]

Why does the timer software suck so bad?

 

[Cal166]

1. In January when I added new vendors to the list it didn?t go into ABC order.

2. When I invoice someone sometimes there is a long description. Is there a way of fitting everything I need on the invoice.

3. There were instances where I set up a job one way a couple of days later the job was set up a different way. I didn?t change and no one else did either. How can it be fixed.

4. I set date to print checks and all of a sudden the date changes to wrong date by itself.

 

[gizbug]

How do I use quickbooks if I am an independent contractor that has to file my own taxes?

 

[badmouse]

How can I search paid invoices by the category "state sales tax = NJ or NY" ?

 

[Booty]

Well, the original post looked promising, and I was about to post my Quickbooks questions, but conisdering kermalou hasn't followed up on the last few questions, I think I'll find somewhere else to ask.