Anybody else think "Irreconcilable differences" should not be an option when filing for divorce?

[HeroOfPellinor]

Even the Bible supports divorce in certain circumstances, but they way it is now is out of control and I'm wondering if this vaguery is partly to blame.

I think people should have to write down exactly what the problem is. Obviously infidelity and abuse are cut and dry, but that can't account for a very large percentage of divorces. I'd like to see somebody spell it all out...look at it...and then submit it as a genuine reason for divorce. How many times would it be something like "Doesn't pay enough attention" or "Doesn't help out enough with this or that" or "Doesn't do it enough"...things that are solved with communication?

Am I way off here? I just think puting the reasons down on paper would change them from a "feeling" to actual problems which could then be faced if possible?

 

[Heisenberg]

While I think people should put more effort into their marriages before just filing for divorce, I don't support requiring it by law.

 

[pulse8]

Originally posted by: Heisenberg
While I think people should put more effort into their marrages before just filing for divorce, I don't support requiring it by law.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Originally posted by: Heisenberg
While I think people should put more effort into their marrages before just filing for divorce, I don't support requiring it by law.

I'm just saying remove the checkboxes for anything but abuse or infidelity and leave a few lines to describe the problem.

 

[eigen]

Originally posted by: Heisenberg
While I think people should put more effort into their marriages before just filing for divorce, I don't support requiring it by law.

 

[Heisenberg]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
I'm just saying remove the checkboxes for anything but abuse or infidelity and leave a few lines to describe the problem.

Then people will just start writing "Irreconcilable differences" in the lines and you'd be right back where you started.

 

[BooGiMaN]

why?

how will that make a difference?

if two people have come to a point where they no longer want to be married and agree its best they part ways what does it matter why

 

[Red Dawn]

Irreconcilable differences is better than saying I can't stand the Asshole/Bitch

 

[HardcoreRobot]

they shouldnt even need to give a reason. if they both want it, who cares.

 

[royaldank]

If 2 people don't want to be married anymore, talking about it isn't going to solve anything. Why would you possibly want a married couple wanting to get divorced not to get divorced? "They can solve their problems." Who cares? They obviously don't want to.

 

[Whisper]

I'd rather have a 50% divorce rate and happier people than a 5% divorce rate accompanied by constantly-bickering couples and emotionally-distant children.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: Heisenberg
While I think people should put more effort into their marriages before just filing for divorce, I don't support requiring it by law.

bingo!

I think people should think about marriage before they leap. I have a friend that was married for a year before his wife moved out. the divorce was finally finalized this week. they were only married a total of a year and a half. great waste of of 10k+ they spent on it.

getting married is way to easy. You can go to the court and get it done in a matter of days or less. At least divorce takes a few months to get done.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

I'm sorry, but if you make a promise before witnesses and go through several legal procedures to create a marriage, you should damn well have to give a specific reason for wanting to call it off.

Why do I care? Because my kids have to grow up with the maladjusted kids of divorced families and because it perpetuates the "no accountability" plague spreading through every facet of society. But I apologize for caring if that offends anybody. :roll:

 

[wkabel23]

No, what a stupid idea.

And the real reason marriage has gone down the drain is homosexuals.

:roll:

 

[Howard]

Originally posted by: wkabel23
No, what a stupid idea.

And the real reason marriage has gone down the drain is homosexuals.

:roll:

LOL

To OP: If you're so worried about it, why don't you suggest outlawing marriage?

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: Heisenberg
While I think people should put more effort into their marriages before just filing for divorce, I don't support requiring it by law.

bingo!

I think people should think about marriage before they leap.

Why should they when all they have to do is check a box and they're out of it. If you make divorce a bit of an ordeal that forces people to face their personal hangups as well as their partners, then people WILL think about it more before leaping into it.

 

[Geekbabe]

Question:Why do you want this divorce?

Answer:Because it'll be less costly to the state than inprisioning me for shooting the jerk


of course,such a requirement could make for some entertaining reading for lawyers,judges and courthouse clerks

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
I'm sorry, but if you make a promise before witnesses and go through several legal procedures to create a marriage, you should damn well have to give a specific reason for wanting to call it off.

Why do I care? Because my kids have to grow up with the maladjusted kids of divorced families and because it perpetuates the "no accountability" plague spreading through every facet of society. But I apologize for caring if that offends anybody. :roll:

yawn.

I'm all for people not getting married if they are not serious and staying together for life. But lets be real it does not always happen. sometimes people fall out of love and the best thing is to seperate. It does not do the children good staying in a relationship when the parents fight all the time.

Both me and my wife's parents are divorced. We both took it slow on getting married (started dateing when i was 18 and married when i was 24) and are happy. But we know that not everyone esle is.

i agree that divorce is out of control. But makeing it harder to get a divorce will not solve anything. I think that we need to make marriege a little harder. People can get married in a day (or hour in some states) for $50. Kids fall in the lust stage and get hitched then find out that they really love the person.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: Heisenberg
While I think people should put more effort into their marriages before just filing for divorce, I don't support requiring it by law.

bingo!

I think people should think about marriage before they leap.

Why should they when all they have to do is check a box and they're out of it. If you make divorce a bit of an ordeal that forces people to face their personal hangups as well as their partners, then people WILL think about it more before leaping into it.

do you know how long/expensive it is to get a divorce compared to getting married? makeing them figure out a legalese for it is not going to help matters at all.

 

[DaveSimmons]

You're approaching the problem backwards -- it should be harder to get married and to have children rather than harder to get divorced.

I'd personally support requiring a "parenting license" where you must prove you are of sound mind and have the means to support the child. I could even see requiring some sort of bond and/or insurance to make sure the child will be cared for properly until it reaches maturity. Parenting should be treated as a responsibility not just a right.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
I'm sorry, but if you make a promise before witnesses and go through several legal procedures to create a marriage, you should damn well have to give a specific reason for wanting to call it off.

Why do I care? Because my kids have to grow up with the maladjusted kids of divorced families and because it perpetuates the "no accountability" plague spreading through every facet of society. But I apologize for caring if that offends anybody. :roll:

i agree that divorce is out of control. But makeing it harder to get a divorce will not solve anything. I think that we need to make marriege a little harder. People can get married in a day (or hour in some states) for $50. Kids fall in the lust stage and get hitched then find out that they really love the person.

As I said above. Knowing that divorce will not be an easy thing is the only way to make people think about marriage before leaping into it. What do you propose? And obstacle course? :roll:

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor

Originally posted by: waggy

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
I'm sorry, but if you make a promise before witnesses and go through several legal procedures to create a marriage, you should damn well have to give a specific reason for wanting to call it off.

Why do I care? Because my kids have to grow up with the maladjusted kids of divorced families and because it perpetuates the "no accountability" plague spreading through every facet of society. But I apologize for caring if that offends anybody. :roll:

i agree that divorce is out of control. But makeing it harder to get a divorce will not solve anything. I think that we need to make marriege a little harder. People can get married in a day (or hour in some states) for $50. Kids fall in the lust stage and get hitched then find out that they really love the person.

As I said above. Knowing that divorce will not be an easy thing is the only way to make people think about marriage before leaping into it. What do you propose? And obstacle course? :roll:

as stated divorce is not as easy as marriage. if you want this to work solve the real problem and not the one that you dislike because of religion reasons.

Davesimmons has it right. make marriage and having kids a little harder. Have people that are going to get married to take a counseling season. If they are going to have kids make them take a parenting class (we did. i also took a class called boot camp for daddies).

right now 2 people can meet in a bar and be married the next day before the sober up.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Originally posted by: waggy
as stated divorce is not as easy as marriage. if you want this to work solve the real problem and not the one that you dislike because of religion reasons.

Davesimmons has it right. make marriage and having kids a little harder. Have people that are going to get married to take a counseling season. If they are going to have kids make them take a parenting class (we did. i also took a class called boot camp for daddies).

right now 2 people can meet in a bar and be married the next day before the sober up.

Many if not most pastors won't marry a couple unless they've had a series of counseling sessions. So you're wrong that that will solve anything.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor

Originally posted by: waggy
as stated divorce is not as easy as marriage. if you want this to work solve the real problem and not the one that you dislike because of religion reasons.

Davesimmons has it right. make marriage and having kids a little harder. Have people that are going to get married to take a counseling season. If they are going to have kids make them take a parenting class (we did. i also took a class called boot camp for daddies).

right now 2 people can meet in a bar and be married the next day before the sober up.

Many if not most pastors won't marry a couple unless they've had a series of counseling sessions. So you're wrong that that will solve anything.

yeah and you are wrong thinking removing it will make any diffrence on divorce.

shrug.

 

[Yossarian]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
I'm sorry, but if you make a promise before witnesses and go through several legal procedures to create a marriage, you should damn well have to give a specific reason for wanting to call it off.

Why do I care? Because my kids have to grow up with the maladjusted kids of divorced families and because it perpetuates the "no accountability" plague spreading through every facet of society. But I apologize for caring if that offends anybody. :roll:

I'm sure that people who get divorced do have specific reasons. Whether they are listed on a form is immaterial.

What is the specific reason to get married? "I love her." What is the specific reason to get divorced? "I don't love her anymore."