Any PC doctors here?

[Cappuccino]

My friend is having some problems with her laptop and I need someone who knows how to fix laptops (not the building stuff) like viruses, slow performances, google chrome etc etc please pm me or comment here and I will pm you. I don't want to discuss it here its kinda newbie question

appreciate the help.

 

[Newbian]

When in doubt reset to factory settings again to clear all the junk they have done and start over.

Also you know the rules about talking about females.

 

[Cappuccino]

When in doubt reset to factory settings again to clear all the junk they have done and start over.

Also you know the rules about talking about females.

Can I pm you?
She is not female. She is a shemale.

 

[Elixer]

Well, I think pics of the laptop & her might help...

As for your issue(s), what laptop, what OS, when was the last backup she made, and run the usual assortment of malware detectors like https://www.malwarebytes.com/ (free version is good enough) Spybot Search & destroy (also free version).

If she thinks she is infected with something though, a clean install is always best.

BTW, tend not to do PMs, since usually, people find these conversations on bing/google or whatever, and they can find the outcome here, instead of asking again & again & again.

 

[Ruptga]

Have you tried turning it off, then turning it on again?

Can I pm you?
She is not female. She is a shemale.

And? You don't need to worry about whether or not they're up to our standards. We'll tell you, promise.

 

[Fardringle]

Have you tried turning it off, then turning it on again?

Most of the office doors at my previous job had signs with the name of the person and their job title. Mine said, "Executive Director of Turning Things Off and On Again". I loved it and was tempted to take it with me when I left the job. But I decided to be nice and leave it for the next occupant. And I'm sure Moss and Roy would approve.

 

[Cappuccino]

Well, I think pics of the laptop & her might help...

As for your issue(s), what laptop, what OS, when was the last backup she made, and run the usual assortment of malware detectors like https://www.malwarebytes.com/ (free version is good enough) Spybot Search & destroy (also free version).

If she thinks she is infected with something though, a clean install is always best.

BTW, tend not to do PMs, since usually, people find these conversations on bing/google or whatever, and they can find the outcome here, instead of asking again & again & again.

i pmed you because imma badass

 

[Cappuccino]

 

[s0me0nesmind1]

Formatting will take you about 1/500th of the time of trying to clear all the malware. Regardless of what you think, it will lay turds all over the place in different directories - so it's always the best solution as far as fixing malware on computers.

Slow performance, etc? Buy a new laptop?

 

[Elixer]

In short, this is a matter of giving access to your machine to a stranger.
One of those tech support scams type of thing.

 

[Sonikku]

Pics of shemale?

 

[JulesMaximus]

Pics of shemale?

LOL! I'm kind of curious what she looks like too. Could she pass for female or does she look like Bruce Jenner in drag?

 

[Ruptga]

LOL! I'm kind of curious what she looks like too. Could she pass for female or does she look like Bruce Jenner in drag?

I told you, OP.

 

[DAPUNISHER]

Slow performance, etc? Buy a new laptop?

For what most people use a laptop for? Nah, just throw a SSD in it, and fresh copy of OS. It will feel like a new laptop for a fraction of the cost, plus lose all the bloatware it shipped with.

 

[Cappuccino]

Pics of shemale?

£10,000 to my PayPal and we can talk.

 

[highland145]

10K lb wench. Appropriate?

 

[Fardringle]

To get back to the original question, with that many different problems, I agree with the other posters that have said it would be best to format and clean install Windows on the laptop. It may be possible to clean it up enough to be usable, but you'll never get it truly "clean".

 

[lxskllr]

...it would be best to format and clean install Xubuntu on the laptop. It may be possible to clean it up enough to be usable, but you'll never get it truly "clean".

A better idea to prevent future problems.

 

[Ruptga]

A better idea to prevent future problems.

Can anyone, noob or not, really find Linux drivers for an old laptop's weird touchpad and graphics chip? Can that really be used by someone stupid enough to load their PC up with malware?

Even if she got it working, her stupid friend would be constantly bothering her about basic features. "Where's the internet again? I can't find the E." A simple wipe gives our dear pics-less OP the best chance at escaping the perpetual maintenance trap.

 

[VirtualLarry]

Just give up and buy a Desktop PC at Best Buy. Get a Dell. Then, when you have issues, call Dell and explain...

 

[Charmonium]

If it's malware, I'd download a free copy of Malwarebytes run that and see what it says.

If there are no malware issues, download Ccleaner from Piriform. This will fix a lot of common registry issues and might help speed up the machine. It's also very safe. Still, I would do a backup of anything important first.

If it is malware than as mentioned above, nuke it. Complete reformat and reinstall. Assuming that Malwarebytes can not do the cleanup.

If the issue is an old computer, find the manual online and see if she has any slots for more memory. If so, make sure to find out precisely what kind is required and double check on the laptop manufacturer's that it's listed as compatible. More memory will definitely help speed things up.

Otherwise, you're probably looking at a new lappie.

 

[VirtualLarry]

Can anyone, noob or not, really find Linux drivers for an old laptop's weird touchpad and graphics chip? Can that really be used by someone stupid enough to load their PC up with malware?

Even if she got it working, her stupid friend would be constantly bothering her about basic features. "Where's the internet again? I can't find the E." A simple wipe gives our dear pics-less OP the best chance at escaping the perpetual maintenance trap.

Not to mention, even if it IS supported, it may not be for long.

I have a small 11.6" laptop, that ORIGINALLY SHIPPED WITH LINUX UBUNTU. I bought it off of Newegg some years back.

Well, you know the "patch early, patch often" mantra often repeated around here, about keeping code up-to-date, to receive continued support, and to prevent exploits and malware.

So, it shipped with Ubuntu 12.04 LTS. I upgraded it to 14.x.x LTS. Then, after I do updates, it won't boot, unless I manually boot in compatibility mode. Something wrong with the Ivy Bridge Celeron iGPU driver or x-server.

I mean, it's freaking Intel standard hardware, although it's a few years old. You would think that they wouldn't drop support for something like that, but there you have it. No support, any longer.

Have to stay on Ubuntu 12.04 LTS.

Edit: To elaborate, I had once upgraded it to Ubuntu 14.x.x LTS successfully. But when I did it the last time, as part of the distro upgrade, it downloads and installs the "latest" kernel in the series that that Ubuntu version used. Which, coincidentally, dropped support for Ivy Bridge Celeron graphics. Or it's just horribly busted (in that kernel), one of the two.

 

[lxskllr]

Not to mention, even if it IS supported, it may not be for long.

I have a small 11.6" laptop, that ORIGINALLY SHIPPED WITH LINUX UBUNTU. I bought it off of Newegg some years back.

Well, you know the "patch early, patch often" mantra often repeated around here, about keeping code up-to-date, to receive continued support, and to prevent exploits and malware.

So, it shipped with Ubuntu 12.04 LTS. I upgraded it to 14.x.x LTS. Then, after I do updates, it won't boot, unless I manually boot in compatibility mode. Something wrong with the Ivy Bridge Celeron iGPU driver or x-server.

I mean, it's freaking Intel standard hardware, although it's a few years old. You would think that they wouldn't drop support for something like that, but there you have it. No support, any longer.

Have to stay on Ubuntu 12.04 LTS.

Edit: To elaborate, I had once upgraded it to Ubuntu 14.x.x LTS successfully. But when I did it the last time, as part of the distro upgrade, it downloads and installs the "latest" kernel in the series that that Ubuntu version used. Which, coincidentally, dropped support for Ivy Bridge Celeron graphics. Or it's just horribly busted (in that kernel), one of the two.

Should have filed a bug report. You can use an older kernel branch in the meantime. Pick a lts kernel that works, and stick with it.

For Ruptga, you might be right. I dunno. Depends on the person/machine. My mother uses Ubuntu ok, and I've had few driver issues on laptops of all kinds, but ymmv.

edit:
The nice thing about it is you can try at absolutely zero cost. Someone experienced can have it booting to try it out in <15 minutes, and a dummy that hangs around here shouldn't take more than an hour to get it going. It's literally easier than windows, both to find a clean image, and to get it installed. There's also no trying with windows. You install, possibly destroying your existing data structure, or you don't.

 

[shortylickens]

I need a pic of the desktop just to be sure of how much crap she has running.

 

[Ruptga]

I need a pic of the desktop just to be sure of how much crap she has running.

Spoiler: trigger warning