just curious why step moms always seem to be jerks who dont take in onsideration any of your feelings and arethe first ones to jump down your throat and treat you like crap? i would think that if i loved someone enough to marry them then i would do everything i could to get along with accept and love their kid... i know for alot of kids it takes a while for them to accept their parental guidance but it never bothered me that much and she's still a bitch, and im 22 and finishing up college as a pilot and an air traffic controller but it urks me(like when she rips the phone cord out of my wall).. because i would never do that if i was a step dad and treat my step children like that, i would treat them like they were my own? and comments on your step mother or any good stories or anything such as that?
Any of you guys have STEP MOMS?
- Thread starter BadMuleS
- Start date
JoLLyRoGer
Diamond Member
- Aug 24, 2000
- 4,154
- 4
- 81
Speak for yourself man. My step-mom is the COOLEST!!! I could talk to her about anything. She's always been really sweet an understanding.
It'strange, even my wife gets along with her better than she does my REAL mom.
JR..
It'strange, even my wife gets along with her better than she does my REAL mom.
JR..
JoLLyRoGer
Diamond Member
- Aug 24, 2000
- 4,154
- 4
- 81
Yeah, my ex-step dad was a real @sshole though. I was too old for him to really influence me when my mom remarried, but he treated my little brother like sh!t and acted like his own kids were God's gift to Mankind. I got in a fight with him and kicked his @ss once because he was picking on my brother. I never did like that guy. My mom seems alot happier now that she divorced him too. I'm happy for her.
I don't have any steps, but my oldest daughter has a step mom and a step dad (my husband).
Unfortunately, both of them tend to be pretty insensitive when it comes to her. I find myself in the unenviable position of having to make sure both her step mom and step dad treat her right, or at least fairly.
This is one of the reasons that if something ever happened and I found myself single again, I would not remarry until all my kids were grown. My experience is that it is very hard to be a good parent, let alone to a child you don't really consider your own.
Oh, and her step mom and step dad would deny this to the end, but it is true... I've had to expend a lot of energy keeping my daughter from being hurt by them.
:|
EDIT: I know that there are GOOD step parents out there. I know that my husband tries and he has improved a lot over the past couple of years. The thing is that he and my daughter's step mom CLEARLY favor their 'biological' children. I don't favor any of my children... I know how important it is to avoid uneccessary sibling rivalry. It exists naturally.... why fuel it with favoritism? It wouldn't matter if I had step kids, foster kids, adopted kids.... they need to know that they are each unique and special. When you start favoritism, you start trouble! Just my advice for anyone who finds themselves in this situation.
Unfortunately, both of them tend to be pretty insensitive when it comes to her. I find myself in the unenviable position of having to make sure both her step mom and step dad treat her right, or at least fairly.
This is one of the reasons that if something ever happened and I found myself single again, I would not remarry until all my kids were grown. My experience is that it is very hard to be a good parent, let alone to a child you don't really consider your own.
Oh, and her step mom and step dad would deny this to the end, but it is true... I've had to expend a lot of energy keeping my daughter from being hurt by them.
:|
EDIT: I know that there are GOOD step parents out there. I know that my husband tries and he has improved a lot over the past couple of years. The thing is that he and my daughter's step mom CLEARLY favor their 'biological' children. I don't favor any of my children... I know how important it is to avoid uneccessary sibling rivalry. It exists naturally.... why fuel it with favoritism? It wouldn't matter if I had step kids, foster kids, adopted kids.... they need to know that they are each unique and special. When you start favoritism, you start trouble! Just my advice for anyone who finds themselves in this situation.
NesuD
Diamond Member
- Oct 9, 1999
- 4,999
- 106
- 106
My step mom is evil she had 4 girls and everyone ended up a teenage mom but they were wonderful and could do no wrong. I on the other hand was nothing but a shiftless bastard who only finished school none of hers made it through highschool. from the age of 16 I worked and semi supported myself. I have never ever availed myself of any kind of government assistence and I managed to stay on good terms with my dad without upsetting his relationship with her. The Stepdad was even worse. He was a shiftless drunk who hardly ever worked but had the nerve to nickname me Useless. One of his favorite activities with me was hitting me in the head with a full unopened can of beer. Hurt like hell to. bout the time I reached the age of 16 I'd had all i could take when he falsely accused me of being a thief and told him no lazy lying drunk has any business accusing me of anything. He took a swing at me for that so I beat the daylights out of him right there on the spot. My mom was so supportive that she threw me out for defending myself from the bastard. Didn't speak to her for 8 years after that and only did then because the bastard was dying very painfully from bone cancer and I couldn't ignore her anymore. I did get a certain satisfaction watching the jerk suffer for the last couple of weeks before he died though. Even got a chance to whisper to him privately that i thought god was punishing him for all the pain and heartache he had caused me and my sisters. I imagine really screwed him up for the last week or so.
The good part and yes there is a good side to the story is that i learned exactly what not to do with my own children. I made a promise to myself that I would never allow my children to go through what i did and a day doesn't go by that i don't think about that promise and remember the reasons.
The good part and yes there is a good side to the story is that i learned exactly what not to do with my own children. I made a promise to myself that I would never allow my children to go through what i did and a day doesn't go by that i don't think about that promise and remember the reasons.
I don't have a stepmom, but I do have a stepdad. I think he is pretty cool. We have always gotten along.
But then again my sister hates him. She got mad at him over silly things such as cleaning her room. My mom could not handle her so she sent her to live with my dad and I. She was smoking and drinking when she was 12, doing other drugs when she was 14, arrested at school at 16, she is a high school drop out, and has a first class ticket to living on welfare...
Before you judge your stepmom, take a look at the things you do. I am not saying you are a piece of trash like my sister, but do you ever do anything that makes her mad?
But then again my sister hates him. She got mad at him over silly things such as cleaning her room. My mom could not handle her so she sent her to live with my dad and I. She was smoking and drinking when she was 12, doing other drugs when she was 14, arrested at school at 16, she is a high school drop out, and has a first class ticket to living on welfare...
Before you judge your stepmom, take a look at the things you do. I am not saying you are a piece of trash like my sister, but do you ever do anything that makes her mad?
Speaking from the perspective of a stepdad, it's one of the toughest jobs in the world. I became a stepfather at 29 to a 14-year-old boy. We had our moments along the way but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I've been married to his mom for almost 19 years now and my stepson and I have a very good relationship. I can honestly say that he and I have a much better relationship than he has with his biological father. And today I'm the one he calls "Dad."
Dan, that's what I like to hear.
My oldest daughter has had her 'steps' since she was only 5 years old. Unfortunately, both her step mom and my husband were the ones to act like jealous children.
She has a better relationship with her step father then she does with her father because I see to it that we all work things out... we have had our ups and downs, but we are a family. She is not very close to her father because he lets her step-mother run the show, and if I had to make a prediction, it would be that she will not be seeing very much of them when she is an adult. Her step mom is jealous and a bit psychotic, and I fear for my child when she is there. She's learned to deal with it, but one day she will say "Sorry, can't make it" and that will be the end of it.
What gets me is that we are talking about a very sweet child! Not a brat at all... a sweet, beautiful, helpful, compassionate child! And I'm not saying that just because she is mine. Everyone who has worked with her (she does volunteer work for the church) and all her teachers always gush over what a sweet kid she is.
I just hope her bad experiences make her stronger...
My oldest daughter has had her 'steps' since she was only 5 years old. Unfortunately, both her step mom and my husband were the ones to act like jealous children.
She has a better relationship with her step father then she does with her father because I see to it that we all work things out... we have had our ups and downs, but we are a family. She is not very close to her father because he lets her step-mother run the show, and if I had to make a prediction, it would be that she will not be seeing very much of them when she is an adult. Her step mom is jealous and a bit psychotic, and I fear for my child when she is there. She's learned to deal with it, but one day she will say "Sorry, can't make it" and that will be the end of it.
What gets me is that we are talking about a very sweet child! Not a brat at all... a sweet, beautiful, helpful, compassionate child! And I'm not saying that just because she is mine.
Everyone who has worked with her (she does volunteer work for the church) and all her teachers always gush over what a sweet kid she is.I just hope her bad experiences make her stronger...
I have a step-mother. She and my dad got married about 6 days before I graduated high school. I know that she isn't a perfect person, but who is? For the most part, she is really cool. She has been nice to me. (Or, to my face. Any complaining was done to my dad. lol) I definitely could have gotten a worse step-mother. I will never ever think of her as my mom, but she makes my dad happy and I 'spose that is what matters.
A month and a half after E_mc_2 and I get married I will be gaining my first step parent . A step "dad" . Richard is really kewl I like him alot. If my mom is going to remarry (my dad died almost 2 years ago, and was the best dad in the world) I couldn't have chosen any better for her. I will never be able to call him dad though. He will always be Richard to me. And I can't see having my future kids call him anything else. I can't imagine my children calling some other man grandpa you know? Not when my dad wanted so bad to be a grandparent but just didn't live long enough to see it. It's nothing against Richard hes a great guy, but he's not now nor will he ever be my dad. Not to mention he's the reason my mom is moving to Georgia. Which means my children probably wont seem them very often anyways. I guess I've been lucky in the Step Parent department. Unfortunately for E_mc_2 his former step mother and former step father made cinderella's evil step mom look like a paragon. I would kill anyone who treated a child of mine the way they treated him. Luckily they are no longer apart of his family. I've me his ex step mom and wanted to slap her silly but for his half sister's sake I wouldn't actually do it.
Which means my children probably wont seem them very often anyways. I guess I've been lucky in the Step Parent department. Unfortunately for E_mc_2 his former step mother and former step father made cinderella's evil step mom look like a paragon. I would kill anyone who treated a child of mine the way they treated him. Luckily they are no longer apart of his family. I've me his ex step mom and wanted to slap her silly but for his half sister's sake I wouldn't actually do it.I've got the 'steps' Mom and Dad.
Bad luck on both counts. The StepDad was and is an Alcoholic, a BAD one. Back then I was old enough to distance myself from that situation, but my younger Brother and baby Sister had to deal. Why my Mom got together with him is a COMPLETE mystery to me, but she eventually rid of him. There's zero communication with this guy now, good.
My StemMom was/is a situation of where she had to have COMPLETE control of my Father and I believe she did care for me, but we butted heads more than get along and I had to distance myself from THAT situation as well. We have a good relationship now though, but it's only good because I'm no longer involved in her day-to-day like before.
Bad luck on both counts. The StepDad was and is an Alcoholic, a BAD one. Back then I was old enough to distance myself from that situation, but my younger Brother and baby Sister had to deal. Why my Mom got together with him is a COMPLETE mystery to me, but she eventually rid of him. There's zero communication with this guy now, good.
My StemMom was/is a situation of where she had to have COMPLETE control of my Father and I believe she did care for me, but we butted heads more than get along and I had to distance myself from THAT situation as well. We have a good relationship now though, but it's only good because I'm no longer involved in her day-to-day like before.
I have a step-mother (I prefer the term step-monster) who is a horrible person. There are soo many horrible things she has done, but here are just a few:
1. My Father died of Cancer about 1 1/2 years ago. For the last few months of his life, she would yell at him and tell him that he ruined her life and that everything would be fine if only he hadn't gotten so sick (like it was his choice). Needeless to say, it made my Father's last few months horrible.
2. When we (I have two older sisters) were in college, if we wanted to go to my Dad's house for the weekend we had to call her 2 weeks in advance and ask her if it was OK if we stayed the weekend. If we called last minute to ask if we could coem down, she would say no because we hadn't given the two week notice.
3. My Grandmother lives alone and my Father was her only child in the state, therefore she would spend all holidays with us. Then my step-monster came a long and put an end to that. She said she didn't want my Grandmother over because it was too much of a bother for her. So my real Mom would invite my Grandmother over for holidays and things like that. Kind of strange...
4. My family lives in Colorado and I live in Hawaii. My Father was cremated (sp?) and he had chosen the spot where his ashes were to be spread. My step-monster decided to spread the ashes several months after he died. She never told me that they (she and my sisters) were going to spread them, and she told my sisters that I had said I wouldn't fly home for that, which was absolutely not true. So, I was not there to spread my Father's ashes.
And of course all the usual things that many of you have mentioned above. I guess one good thing that came from my Father's death is that I no longer have to be nice to her just to try to keep the peace for his sake.
1. My Father died of Cancer about 1 1/2 years ago. For the last few months of his life, she would yell at him and tell him that he ruined her life and that everything would be fine if only he hadn't gotten so sick (like it was his choice). Needeless to say, it made my Father's last few months horrible.
2. When we (I have two older sisters) were in college, if we wanted to go to my Dad's house for the weekend we had to call her 2 weeks in advance and ask her if it was OK if we stayed the weekend. If we called last minute to ask if we could coem down, she would say no because we hadn't given the two week notice.
3. My Grandmother lives alone and my Father was her only child in the state, therefore she would spend all holidays with us. Then my step-monster came a long and put an end to that. She said she didn't want my Grandmother over because it was too much of a bother for her. So my real Mom would invite my Grandmother over for holidays and things like that. Kind of strange...
4. My family lives in Colorado and I live in Hawaii. My Father was cremated (sp?) and he had chosen the spot where his ashes were to be spread. My step-monster decided to spread the ashes several months after he died. She never told me that they (she and my sisters) were going to spread them, and she told my sisters that I had said I wouldn't fly home for that, which was absolutely not true. So, I was not there to spread my Father's ashes.
And of course all the usual things that many of you have mentioned above. I guess one good thing that came from my Father's death is that I no longer have to be nice to her just to try to keep the peace for his sake.
I hear you, Ariel. I am so sorry that you had to deal with that kind of personality in your family.
My daughter's step mom is similar. She LOVES me because I know how to deal with psychotic people, but I can't wait 'til it's over.
My ex is totally estranged from his own mom and step dad and his dad and step mom... I'm the one that keeps in touch with them. It's not like they are great people or anything, but they are my daughter's grandparents and she should have an opportunity to get to know them. They aren't totally horrible, either... Just people who have made mistakes. I mean, they were my in-laws once too... I know them... they are not criminals or anything.
Anyway, my daughter's step mom just threw a bloody fit over the Christmas holidays because she found out my daughter has been e-mailing her dad's side of the family. She does not allow my ex husband to communicate with his father. It's been over 7 years since my ex talked to his dad.... it's sad.
My ex has no cohones whatsoever. I tried to give him mine but he wouldn't take them so I had to leave him (he was abusing drugs and alcohol at the time.). Now he has his life together, but what a price he has paid!
Another thing that is bad is that my ex and his wife are jealous of us. We are better off financially and they just can't stand it. Believe it or not, I have pretty much waived child support just so that they wouldn't be so damn resentful all the time. They send me $130 per month whenever they get around to it and I just let it slide. I don't need their pathetic money, I just need my daughter to be healthy and happy. Even when Mr Isla and I had less, I never, ever cared about the money... just my baby!
Uh oh... didn't mean to rant... but it felt good.
My daughter's step mom is similar. She LOVES me because I know how to deal with psychotic people, but I can't wait 'til it's over.
My ex is totally estranged from his own mom and step dad and his dad and step mom... I'm the one that keeps in touch with them. It's not like they are great people or anything, but they are my daughter's grandparents and she should have an opportunity to get to know them. They aren't totally horrible, either... Just people who have made mistakes. I mean, they were my in-laws once too... I know them... they are not criminals or anything.
Anyway, my daughter's step mom just threw a bloody fit over the Christmas holidays because she found out my daughter has been e-mailing her dad's side of the family. She does not allow my ex husband to communicate with his father. It's been over 7 years since my ex talked to his dad.... it's sad.
My ex has no cohones whatsoever. I tried to give him mine but he wouldn't take them so I had to leave him (he was abusing drugs and alcohol at the time.). Now he has his life together, but what a price he has paid!
Another thing that is bad is that my ex and his wife are jealous of us. We are better off financially and they just can't stand it. Believe it or not, I have pretty much waived child support just so that they wouldn't be so damn resentful all the time. They send me $130 per month whenever they get around to it and I just let it slide. I don't need their pathetic money, I just need my daughter to be healthy and happy. Even when Mr Isla and I had less, I never, ever cared about the money... just my baby!
Uh oh... didn't mean to rant... but it felt good.
My stepmother (well she is an american so what do you expect hehe) is really nice. She has been in my life for what, 4 yrs I think and I really like her.
My stepfather is nice too although he is just a swede :=) I feel that I've been lucky with them both..
/Asha'man
My stepfather is nice too although he is just a swede :=) I feel that I've been lucky with them both..
/Asha'man
From what I read here I can see that I have been very fortunate. My stepson has a son, who recently turned 12. He is most definitely my Grandson and I'm his "Poppy." We're extremely tight. In fact, you can see photos of my grandson and I on my site. (See, even in cyberspace no upstanding grandparent can resist showing pictures of the grandkids )
)My real Mom died in 1988 of a brain aneurism(sp?). I was there when she died, I had to watch her die My Dad was in a state of shock for about a year. They had planned on going RVing all over the US, but never got a chance to. Eventually, he started to RV on his own and met a woman, in Texas, from Canada. Since her husband had died recently also, they had something in common, and began "seeing" each other. They eventually married and she became my Stepmother. At first I resented her. It felt as though she was attempting to become a replacement for my real Mom, but eventually she was able to convince me that she really wasn't. At that point I came to the realization that she really was a sweet old lady, and a perfect companion for the old man that is my father
Even though I still miss my real Mom, I call my Stepmother 'Mom', and I buy Christmas cards that say Mom and Dad. -kd5-
My Dad was in a state of shock for about a year. They had planned on going RVing all over the US, but never got a chance to. Eventually, he started to RV on his own and met a woman, in Texas, from Canada. Since her husband had died recently also, they had something in common, and began "seeing" each other. They eventually married and she became my Stepmother. At first I resented her. It felt as though she was attempting to become a replacement for my real Mom, but eventually she was able to convince me that she really wasn't. At that point I came to the realization that she really was a sweet old lady, and a perfect companion for the old man that is my fatherEven though I still miss my real Mom, I call my Stepmother 'Mom', and I buy Christmas cards that say Mom and Dad.
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