Another Funny Ebay Ad

[olds]

Text

 

[Sundog]

On 15-Dec-03 at 17:17:58 GMT, seller added the following information:

And, blinking as their dulled reflexes try to cope with the light, and their rudimentary nervous systems try to make sense of the complexities of an on-line auction, out they come.... the first bidder is in the US of A.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On 16-Dec-03 at 09:46:39 GMT, seller added the following information:

Look, people, I've had emails from people saying they're bidding, and intend to honour the bids for the laughs they've had, but have no intention of actually taking possession of this valuable collector's piece. Fine, thanks, and I'll raise the glass of beer your bid pays for to your health, but if I just wanted the cash I'd put up an auction saying "Send me money now!" and rely on the mental bottom-feeders of Ebay to go: "Coo, I think I'll bid on that...". In other words, I really do want somebody to pay me and take this thing away. Optimistic and under the terms of this auction, unenforceable, but there must be someone out there who actually wants it.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On 16-Dec-03 at 10:21:36 GMT, seller added the following information:

Guess what? One of our cats has just pissed on it. Honest. Buyer to bring rubber gloves. Oh, and if you find this fair and honest attack on Ebay's more intellectually challenged members amusing, and you really want to show your appreciation, you can click on the cafeshops link above and buy a crappy mug or Tshirt. Better than bidding a fiver and leaving me still in possession of this thing.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On 16-Dec-03 at 18:50:21 GMT, seller added the following information:

Ooooh, wasn't welt2 a clever little bunny, bidding when he's in Australia? If you'd emailed me to say you were serious, welt2, I might have left the bid up, but with zero feedback you've just proved yourself to be one of the turnips. And there your bids go, vapourised... Zappp!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On 16-Dec-03 at 20:41:29 GMT, seller added the following information:

And they come crawling out of the woodwork. You block his bids and you get an email: "Well aren't you a miserable pr*ck." Nope, I'm not, I'm a good-natured soul (see, I even edited your obscenity), but if anyone's a pr*ck it's a zero feedback-rated ebayer in Australia who's only bidding to waste my time. Now, does anyone else want to see their name in lights?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On 17-Dec-03 at 07:13:17 GMT, seller added the following information:

Oh Good God. Ebayers, meet g4-gertje. g4-gertje, meet the sharp end of my keyboard. g4-gertje wants to know if I'll just sell the indicator brackets for some project bike he has. g4-gertje is in Belgium and thus separated from me by a few hundred miles, the English Channel and, I suspect, several dozen IQ points. Does this auction say: "will flog off minute components bit by bit"? NO! It's a damned auction. Buy the whole thing or nothing at all. I mean, the winning bidder (who I notice has a feedback of 1 and is teetering on the edge of Bid Cancel Canyon, might want them as well. Unlikely, but can you imagine actually winning this pile of crap and finding that the one component you want from it has been sold?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On 17-Dec-03 at 19:03:50 GMT, seller added the following information:

My, aren't there some clever little mammals on Ebay? Quite apart from the hundreds of would-be comedians who are asking "How much for the SuperSoaker?", thereby proving that, yes, they have the visual acuity of, and can read web pages about as well as, a one-eyed rhinoceros peering through the wrong end of a telescope, there are the timewasting bidders. All sellers get plagued by these, and meowmix3001 has now just been pushed over the edge of Bid Cancel Canyon. Fortunately he (this type is invariably male) landed on his head, so no vital organs were damaged. What's the joke, meowmix3001? Does being 4000 miles away make it OK to waste people's time? How many other Ebay items have you bid on, with no intention of buying? I bet the other bidders are now crapping themselves - you may think you're safe, several bids down the ladder, but if I cancel more bids your own will be dragged into the light. And trust me, I will insist on payment or the alternative of very negative feedback and an NPB filing......

 

[AgaBoogaBoo]

lol, there's a squirt gun in it 😀

 

[fs5]

he said he'll ship worldwide in the ad.
someone posted this already, can't find the thread.