Another "florida man" stands his ground...

[woolfe9998]

Against a lizard.

A man accused of killing an iguana wanted the charge dismissed based on stand your ground law. A judge said no | CNN

A Florida man accused of killing an iguana last year wanted a charge of animal cruelty dismissed on the basis of the state's "stand your ground" law. A judge has denied his motion.

www.cnn.com

Summary:

Florida Man is charged with animal cruelty for kicking an iguana to death.

Florida Man argues that iguana bit his arm first. Asks the court to apply Florida's "stand your ground" protection.

Prosecution says Florida Man repeatedly provoked and taunted the iguana first which is why he got bit.

Court rules against Florida Man, holding that self-defense laws do not apply where the attacker is not human.

I feel that the court was actually wrong as I see no reason self-defense laws should not apply in the case of an animal attacker. However, the fact that he provoked the animal first ought to negate the defense.

And man does this eerily remind me of a slightly more famous Florida case from about 8 years ago. Except the victim wasn't a lizard in that one.

PS: what is it with "Florida men" anyway? Must be something in the water down there...

 

[blackangst1]

snipped

PS: what is it with "Florida men" anyway? Must be something in the water down there...

It must be. Florida Man | Worst Super Hero Ever.

 

[outriding]

It's coming right for us!

 

[ch33zw1z]

It must be. Florida Man | Worst Super Hero Ever.

Some of those are pretty funny. Thanks FL for keeping us entertained.

 

[sandorski]

Provoke something to attack you, then killing it. Sounds like "Stand your ground" fare.

 

[BUTCH1]

Some of those are pretty funny. Thanks FL for keeping us entertained.

Like this one of FL man clinging onto the cab of a semi as the driver tries to throw him off by violently rocking the cab back and forth, all this on I-95 mind you, https://floridaman.com/clings-to-semitruck-speeding-down-highway-video/

 

[dank69]

Against a lizard.

A man accused of killing an iguana wanted the charge dismissed based on stand your ground law. A judge said no | CNN

A Florida man accused of killing an iguana last year wanted a charge of animal cruelty dismissed on the basis of the state's "stand your ground" law. A judge has denied his motion.

www.cnn.com

Summary:

Florida Man is charged with animal cruelty for kicking an iguana to death.

Florida Man argues that iguana bit his arm first. Asks the court to apply Florida's "stand your ground" protection.

Prosecution says Florida Man repeatedly provoked and taunted the iguana first which is why he got bit.

Court rules against Florida Man, holding that self-defense laws do not apply where the attacker is not human.

I feel that the court was actually wrong as I see no reason self-defense laws should not apply in the case of an animal attacker. However, the fact that he provoked the animal first ought to negate the defense.

And man does this eerily remind me of a slightly more famous Florida case from about 8 years ago. Except the victim wasn't a lizard in that one.

PS: what is it with "Florida men" anyway? Must be something in the water down there...

Was the iguana wearing hoodie and eating Skittles?

 

[VRAMdemon]

A Florida Man takes his ten year old son to go drive by paint ball shooting. One of the targets pulls his real gun and shoots the kid, who then falls out of the car and gets run over by his fathers car

Florida 10-year-old shot after man returns paintball fire with real gunfire

Thinking his home was under attack, a Florida homeowner shot and wounded a 10-year-old whose father had driven him to participate in a drive-by shooting with a paintball gun, police said.

nbc-2.com

 

[Paratus]

Against a lizard.

A man accused of killing an iguana wanted the charge dismissed based on stand your ground law. A judge said no | CNN

A Florida man accused of killing an iguana last year wanted a charge of animal cruelty dismissed on the basis of the state's "stand your ground" law. A judge has denied his motion.

www.cnn.com

Summary:

Florida Man is charged with animal cruelty for kicking an iguana to death.

Florida Man argues that iguana bit his arm first. Asks the court to apply Florida's "stand your ground" protection.

Prosecution says Florida Man repeatedly provoked and taunted the iguana first which is why he got bit.

Court rules against Florida Man, holding that self-defense laws do not apply where the attacker is not human.

I feel that the court was actually wrong as I see no reason self-defense laws should not apply in the case of an animal attacker. However, the fact that he provoked the animal first ought to negate the defense.

And man does this eerily remind me of a slightly more famous Florida case from about 8 years ago. Except the victim wasn't a lizard in that one.

PS: what is it with "Florida men" anyway? Must be something in the water down there...

If you want a laugh play Florida Man(Woman) Roulette.

Go to google and type in Florida Man (or Woman) and a month and a day (Could be your birthday, anniversary, random, etc) and see what you get.

For example I got:

Florida man denies syringes found inside rectum are his

PINELLAS COUNTY, Fla. (WTXL) - A Florida man denied syringes were his after jail officials found them in his rectum during a strip search.

www.wtxl.com

 

[sandorski]

Fucking hell. People don't like the idea of being Shot. It is certainly not funny to make them think they are....especially in a Nation where Shootings are daily News and you live in fucking Florida where Morons are just itching for an excuse to shoot someone.

 

[woolfe9998]

If you want a laugh play Florida Man(Woman) Roulette.

Go to google and type in Florida Man (or Woman) and a month and a day (Could be your birthday, anniversary, random, etc) and see what you get.

For example I got:

Florida man denies syringes found inside rectum are his

PINELLAS COUNTY, Fla. (WTXL) - A Florida man denied syringes were his after jail officials found them in his rectum during a strip search.

www.wtxl.com

Already been a thread on that, did it, and I'm pretty sure I win.

Masturbating Florida man slugs elderly man who asked him to stop

A drunk man who was masturbating in a Florida supermarket’s parking lot slugged an elderly man who told him to cut it out, a report said. The suspect, 39-year-old Kerry Vandergriff, was alleg…

nypost.com

Summary:

- Florida Man is masturbating in his car in the parking lot of a supermarket
- elderly man approaches and asks Florida Man to please stop masturbating in the public parking lot
- Florida Man punches elderly man in face, knocking him down, causing serious injuries, because how dare he infringe on his freedumbs by asking him to stop jacking off in public

Haha. Beat THAT.

 

[BUTCH1]

A Florida Man takes his ten year old son to go drive by paint ball shooting. One of the targets pulls his real gun and shoots the kid, who then falls out of the car and gets run over by his fathers car

Florida 10-year-old shot after man returns paintball fire with real gunfire

Thinking his home was under attack, a Florida homeowner shot and wounded a 10-year-old whose father had driven him to participate in a drive-by shooting with a paintball gun, police said.

nbc-2.com

Dad is being held on serious charges, what a F-ing numbskull, letting a 10yr old get involved with a "drive by" pintball shooting. How he "lost his balance and got run over by the dad's car" is WTF?, was he grabbing onto the car while on a bike/skateboard?, F-ing retards.

 

[woolfe9998]

After reading through the link posted by Blackangst which describes literally hundreds of the most idiotic and bizarre crime anecdotes I've ever seen, I got to wondering about why this is. Then I found this:

Mental Health of America recently ranked Florida 48th nationwide on access to mental health care. It specifically noted that 633,000 Florida adults with mental illness and 116,000 youth with depression had unmet treatment needs.

Florida's Lukewarm Commitment to Investing in Behavioral Health

Despite unmet needs, Florida's per capita funding for behavioral health, as compared to the rest of the nation, ranks in the bottom.

www.floridapolicy.org

.

Which sounds like a good starting hypothesis to explain this strange phenomenon.

 

[Pohemi]

Haha. Beat THAT.

I laughed so hard my abdominal muscles got sore...but @Paratus was close if not just as good, in my opinion.

I mean...denying something in your pocket, backpack, purse, vehicle, etc belongs to you is one thing...but how can you claim something inside your ass isn't yours? LOL

Are they Billy Bob's and you're just his personal storage?

 

[woolfe9998]

I laughed so hard my abdominal muscles got sore...but @Paratus was close if not just as good, in my opinion.

I mean...denying something in your pocket, backpack, purse, vehicle, etc belongs to you is one thing...but how can you claim something inside your ass isn't yours? LOL

Are they Billy Bob's and you're just his personal storage?

Yeah his was funny too. Similar to this one:

Florida Man with Cocaine on His Nose Tells Cops It's Not His

[HILLSBOROUGH COUNTY] - A Florida Man was arrested after being caught with cocaine on his nose, in addition to various other drugs in his possession during a traffic stop.

floridaman.com

or this

Florida Man Tells Police Bag of Cocaine Found in Car Must have Blown in from the Wind

[FORT PIERCE] - A Florida Man had an interesting explanation for the bag of cocaine found in his car during a traffic stop.

floridaman.com

There are several recurring themes in "Florida Man" stories. Bizarre/implausible excuses for crimes. Lots of jerking off in public. Walking around without pants in front of kids. Various crimes oddly involving swords.

And yes, several involving taunting or otherwise messing with big toothed reptiles, especially alligators.

 

[Pohemi]

Caught red-handed and white-nostriled and still denies it, haha. Yeah, some of the world's dumbest criminals down there, it seems.

 

[VRAMdemon]

Court Rejects Alleged Iguana-Killer’s “Stand Your Ground” Defense

Not a great legal argument, and the surveillance video apparently undermines it as well.

loweringthebar.net

We have lots of those iguanas down here. Some are big, they’re pretty, they’re docile, and they’re pretty much human-shy. Not much to fear there. But they do shit all over the place like geese. And apparently they attract not only flies but also fucking morons.

 

[VRAMdemon]

Dad is being held on serious charges, what a F-ing numbskull, letting a 10yr old get involved with a "drive by" pintball shooting. How he "lost his balance and got run over by the dad's car" is WTF?, was he grabbing onto the car while on a bike/skateboard?, F-ing retards.

What I am gathering ... I sounds like the kid was hanging out the window of the van shooting his paintball gun at these people, and when hit with return fire he fell out the window and landed underneath his fathers vehicle and was run over?

Either way ... No words