Another first-time home buyers question regarding commute to work

[krunchykrome]

Here is the issue I am having with my fiancee. Some of you may have read my recent thread about Seasoned homebuyers-tips for a first time home buyer.

My fiancee and I are having some trouble agreeing on the area to purchase a home. She wants to stay in our current area. Homes in this area are incredibly pricey. For the price we are currently shopping for, we would be settling for a small house, possibly a townhouse in this area. She wants to stay in this pricey area because her all of her family lives here, my family lives here, our friends live here, we're 30 minutes from work, and the location is extremely convenient for anything we need. Anything we need to find (hospital to mall) is literally 5 minutes away.

I on the other hand want to move one hour away. The commute to work would be about 60 miles. In this area, houses are incredibly cheaper. For the price of the small home we can afford in our current area, we would be able to afford an extremely large mcmansion if we'd be willing to move an hour away. My logic behind this is that the commute to work is not that bad if we leave at the right time. We wouldnt have to move again in 5 or so years because we already live in a huge house. I can't come to terms with spending $360K+ on a small 1700 sq-ft house just to live in this area when we could buy a 2700sq-ft house an hour away for $50k-$100k less.

Other reasons why she wants to stay in this area is because when we have kids, our parents can watch them while we are at work so we can save money. My argument against that is with all of the money we'd be saving on a house in the other area, we can afford daycare, hell, even maybe a nanny.

What do you all think of this? Is this commute I am proposing crazy? In the end, if she wants to live here, then we will live here, because the #1 factor when buying a new home is are we happy with the lifestyle in our home/area. I'll be fine here or there, I just prefer to live there.


UPDATE**02/27/13** 7 years later
Well, the wife won- we moved into a smaller townhouse and paid a hell of a premium for it just to stay near our family/friends. Everything worked out well though; we have a daughter now and the house/neighborhood is great. We're planning on moving within the next year or so.

Conclusion- I made a big stink about this 7 years ago. 7 years later, life is good, there was really nothing to get bent out of shape about, life works itself out....we're all going to be ok. =)

 

[Queasy]

Gas is $4/gallon right now. Factor that into your 60 mile commute.

 

[Demon-Xanth]

It is a damned long commute that will sucks 2 hours/day out of your life and cost about $20/day in gas. (assuming $4/gal gas and 24MPG) So take that into consideration.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

fuel costs for a commute of that distance are no longer negligible

also, when you do have kids, would you rather spend 2.5 hr hours EVERY day in your car or playing with them?

 

[Tooncesthedrivingcat]

I just read a study where people who moved far away from their workplace to save $$ were very unhappy in the long run. My commute is only 45 min each way and it drives me nuts.

I live in the Baltimore city and drive to Ellicott City.

 

[rsd]

What are the chances you will stay at this house for a long period of time (e.g. 10+ years)? If low, I'd say buy the closer place even if it is smaller. Really, how much room do you need? What is the point of having a huge house with just two people in there and no friends nearby.

I think you'll get weary of the commute, plus factor in gas costs when comparing the differences in price.

Going by your numbers, you're saying you'll each be driving 60 miles more a day round trip. So 120 miles per person per day MORE. That's roughly 2400 miles more per month. Figure you get 30mpg at $4/gallon. That's $320 a month more you are spending, or ~ $4k a year more on commuting (not including wear and tear on your cars). Say if you are in that house for 5-10 years, you'll quickly lose that price difference at least.

 

[vi edit]

Hard fact 1) Gas is $4.00+ a gallon. Assuming you get a modest 30MPG that's 4 gallons of gas each day you and your wife are burning. That's over $16 a day in gas. $320 a month ($16 x 20).

$320 a month is the difference in TENS of thousands in mortgage prices. Do the math to see what the drive is actually costing you in the home price.

Also - at that point you are adding in another 1 to 2 hours in just simple commutes. You already work a 8-10 hour day. Do you really want to put in another hour or more sitting in a car?

And the point about friends and family is very good as well. Don't overlook free babysitting from friends and family. Plus shear convenience of being close to everyone is nice.

I have to agree with her.

 

[SpunkyJones]

I was in the same situation, we got a older, fixer upper near her parents, when we could have gotten more for less an hour away. If your wife wants to be near the family, there is not much you can do, as a married man you should know better than trying to use logic to win this argument with her. Rookie.

That being said, 60 miles is a long ass commute, I use to do 50 and it blew monkey chunks. I'd rather have a shorter commute with everything near me, sitting in a car for 2+ hours a day sucked.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Two people in 1700 sq ft is not small.

It would be a no brainer for me. Staying where you are for the convenience factor(work, family, activities) is worth the sacrifice of not having extra space that you don't need.

You really want to spend an extra hour plus commuting? I value my time more than anything. I just bought a townhouse in the city. I could have bought a house in the burbs for less money for more space. But I can walk to everything now(including work). I'm home, out walking my dogs and waving to coworkers as there stuck at a red light just trying to get to the highway.

Do you have any idea how much daycare or a nanny costs?

Also, paying $50-100k more for a place is an extra $250-500 in your mortgage payment. Moving further away will cost you more in gas, inconvenience, time, etc...

 

[Demon-Xanth]

Oh, and from someone that went from a 25 mile commute to a 1.7 mile commute, you'll notice the difference.
<-- went from 18-20k miles/year to about 8k, with a large chunk now being for work.

 

[BassBomb]

I'd take closer

 

[crystal]

1700 sq-ft house is not small, but that $100k saving is a major very temping. Don't really care for too big house since that will only cost more in heating/cooling bills plus most of the rooms go unused. BTW, is that 60 miles commute 1 way or 2 way?

 

[DisgruntledVirus]

Originally posted by: krunchykrome

I on the other hand want to move one hour away. The commute to work would be about 60 miles. In this area, houses are incredibly cheaper. For the price of the small home we can afford in our current area, we would be able to afford an extremely large mcmansion if we'd be willing to move an hour away. My logic behind this is that the commute to work is not that bad if we leave at the right time. We wouldnt have to move again in 5 or so years because we already live in a huge house. I can't come to terms with spending $360K+ on a small 1700 sq-ft house just to live in this area when we could buy a 2700sq-ft house an hour away for $50k-$100k less.

Are you serious? For your first home 1700 sq-ft is small? I grew up in a 1800 sq-ft house with parents, myself, 3 dogs (including a great dane) and we had plenty of room. A 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath house, and about 1 acre of land. I agree with your Fiancee, stay in the area moving an HOUR away for that extra sq-ft on a starter house is stupid IMO. Stay in the area, build off that house, and then for a second home you can move to your mcmansion if you want. There is no reason to move ~60 miles away for a 2700 sq-ft starter home. Stay close to everything.

What about splitting the difference? A $100k savings on the house is definitely nice; but why can't you find another place closer to the city, and save $25k+ on a a 1700 sq-ft home?

By your reasoning you could move out to the middle of no where and have a plantation... "Come on honey its only 276 miles one way to work. Just look at all this space/land we don't need!1!!!!1!1 It's worth driving 4 hours to/from work so we can have extra space for the two of us, so when we get mad at eachother we can each have our own 1/2 of the house!!!!111!1!11"

 

[blackdogdeek]

i would live near where you currently are because:

1. the commute will be expensive
2. the commute will not be as easy as it sounds (weather, construction, volume)
3. if you plan to have kids, it will be a HUGE benefit to have friends and relatives near by, especially for the mother
4. resale in a nicer area should be higher
5. it costs a lot of money to fill a mcmansion
6. you will both eventually make more money and be able to afford bigger/nicer things in your current area

 

[IceBergSLiM]

thats a lonnnnng commute

 

[vi edit]

Here's the other thing to think about -

If you have kids, where you take them to day care at? Near home, or near work? If they get sick at 10:00AM and they are near home, you have an hour drive to go home and get them.

Same goes for school age. They will go to school near your home most likely. If you have an hour or more drive back home, that puts you that much further from them for sick pick ups, making it to sporting events and teacher conferences on time, ect.

And if you have no family in the area you have no backup to help you.

Your friends and family WILL NOT drive that far out to help you.

 

[krunchykrome]

Originally posted by: rsd
What are the chances you will stay at this house for a long period of time (e.g. 10+ years)? If low, I'd say buy the closer place even if it is smaller. Really, how much room do you need? What is the point of having a huge house with just two people in there and no friends nearby.

I think you'll get weary of the commute, plus factor in gas costs when comparing the differences in price.

Going by your numbers, you're saying you'll each be driving 60 miles more a day round trip. So 120 miles per person per day MORE. That's roughly 2400 miles more per month. Figure you get 30mpg at $4/gallon. That's $320 a month more you are spending, or ~ $4k a year more on commuting (not including wear and tear on your cars). Say if you are in that house for 5-10 years, you'll quickly lose that price difference at least.

If we buy a smaller house closer, she has said she wants to move in 5-10 years when we make more money to afford something bigger around here. I agree with her on that; I would want to move into something much larger in 5-10 years if we bought a small house now.

 

[preslove]

A McMansion with a long commute is a TERRIBLE investment.

Plus, it sucks the soul out of you. You should listen to your wife.

 

[kranky]

Without restating all the logic presented by other posters, I agree with your wife. It's not that living out of the city is automatically wrong, it's that your reasoning (more space) is not sound.

 

[Gibson486]

I used to commute from lowell, ma to deham, ma. That is a 45 min. with no traffic. Not only was the commute painful (i95 is dreadfull), but getting gas every 2.5 days sucked.

 

[EagleKeeper]

Do not count on Grandparents as a permanent babysitter.

We raised you, we do not want/need to raise your children.

We want to spoil them and return them.

 

[krunchykrome]

Originally posted by: vi edit
Here's the other thing to think about -

If you have kids, where you take them to day care at? Near home, or near work? If they get sick at 10:00AM and they are near home, you have an hour drive to go home and get them.

Same goes for school age. They will go to school near your home most likely. If you have an hour or more drive back home, that puts you that much further from them for sick pick ups, making it to sporting events and teacher conferences on time, ect.

And if you have no family in the area you have no backup to help you.

Your friends and family WILL NOT drive that far out to help you.

Overall, the public schools in our current area are fantastic. I definetly would prefer our kids to go to school in this area. We also wouldnt have to drop them off at daycare. Our parents, hers or mine, will gladly watch them for us while we are at work.

Howard County, Maryland is frequently cited for its affluence, quality of life, and excellent schools. In 2006 it was ranked the third wealthiest county by median household income in the United States by the U.S. Census Bureau. The main population center of Columbia/Ellicott City was named 4th amongst Money Magazine's "America's Best Places to Live." Also, Howard County's schools frequently rank first in Maryland as measured by standardized test scores and graduation rates.[1]

taken from Wiki

Im not sure about the school system in the other area.

 

[BurnItDwn]

Maybe the two of you should compromise? Move to a different area that's not as far away?

 

[amish]

that long ass commute will suck the life out of you. i drove 45 minutes each way to get to work. it really sucked during busy season to take 45 minutes of driving, work 12 to 14 hours, and then drive another 45 minutes back home.

daycare itself is fucking expensive. people i work with pay at least $600 a month for their kids. use the parents, much cheaper.

 

[BlackTigers]

1700 small for two people? I live with four others and three pets in a 1200 sq. ft, and it's fine.