Hello, my name is Carol and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50
billion phucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that
if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her
forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her
redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone
to whom you send "his" email,$1000? How stupid are we?
"Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid
by every good looking model in the magazine!" What a bunch of bull$hit.
Basically, this message is a big PHUCK YOU to all the people out there who
have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe
the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in
my sleep for not continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5 AD and
brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.
Phuck them, If you're going to forward something, at least send me something
mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends,
and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a
nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't phucking
care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing
to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you
shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny,
send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years and
whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward
this email. Now forward this to everyone you know.
Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will
consume your genitals.
billion phucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that
if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her
forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her
redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone
to whom you send "his" email,$1000? How stupid are we?
"Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid
by every good looking model in the magazine!" What a bunch of bull$hit.
Basically, this message is a big PHUCK YOU to all the people out there who
have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe
the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in
my sleep for not continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5 AD and
brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.
Phuck them, If you're going to forward something, at least send me something
mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends,
and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a
nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't phucking
care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing
to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you
shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny,
send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years and
whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward
this email. Now forward this to everyone you know.
Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will
consume your genitals.
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