ANGER MANAGEMENT WORKS!
When you occasionally have an extremely bad day and you just need to
take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it
out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting in my cube when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten
to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying
"Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing
number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down
Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally
transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You' re an a**hole!"
and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'a**hole' next to
it,and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying
bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an
a**hole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'a**hole'
calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the
telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our
Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
and said, "That's because you're an a**hole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking
spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in
his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first a**hole (I had
his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW
a**hole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" He said, "Yes,
it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I
live at 123 CherryLane in Fairfax. It's a yellow rambler, and the
car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don ."
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home
every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an a**hole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I
had a problem, I had two a**holes to call.
Then I came up with an idea.
I called A**hole #1. He said, "Hello." I said, "You're an a**hole!" But
I didn't hang up.
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He screamed, "Stop calling me!".
I said , "Make me."
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don ."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "A**hole, I live at 123 CherryLane, in Fairfax, a yellow
rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, I'm really scared, a**hole," and hung up.
Then I called A**hole #2. I said, "Hello, a**hole."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your a**,"
I answered, "Well, a**hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived
at 123 CherryLane in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to
kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on CherryLane. in Fairfax
I quickly got into my car and he added over to Fairfax. I got there just
in time to watch two a**holes beating the crap out of each other in
front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news
crew.
NOW I feel much better. Yes, anger management works
When you occasionally have an extremely bad day and you just need to
take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it
out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting in my cube when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten
to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying
"Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing
number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down
Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally
transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You' re an a**hole!"
and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'a**hole' next to
it,and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying
bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an
a**hole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'a**hole'
calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the
telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our
Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
and said, "That's because you're an a**hole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking
spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in
his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first a**hole (I had
his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW
a**hole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" He said, "Yes,
it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I
live at 123 CherryLane in Fairfax. It's a yellow rambler, and the
car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don ."
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home
every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an a**hole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I
had a problem, I had two a**holes to call.
Then I came up with an idea.
I called A**hole #1. He said, "Hello." I said, "You're an a**hole!" But
I didn't hang up.
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He screamed, "Stop calling me!".
I said , "Make me."
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don ."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "A**hole, I live at 123 CherryLane, in Fairfax, a yellow
rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, I'm really scared, a**hole," and hung up.
Then I called A**hole #2. I said, "Hello, a**hole."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your a**,"
I answered, "Well, a**hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived
at 123 CherryLane in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to
kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on CherryLane. in Fairfax
I quickly got into my car and he added over to Fairfax. I got there just
in time to watch two a**holes beating the crap out of each other in
front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news
crew.
NOW I feel much better. Yes, anger management works
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