NikPreviousAcct
No Lifer
Well not really a joke, but funny shiot!!
I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her
hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window...
I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown.
I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you
look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to
make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in
Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ...
(click).
A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we
did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said
he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied,
"Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin
state!"..
I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see
England from Canada?"
I said, "No."
She said, "But they look so close on the map."...
An aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent
A car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had
only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to
rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need
a car to drive between the gates to save time."..
An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it
was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into
Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead
of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought
that!......
A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?"
I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag
on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that is
very rude?"
After putting her on hold for a minute while I 'looked into it' (I was
actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno,
CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on
her luggage...
A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper
to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do
I know which plane to get on?"
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on
them."...
A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do
I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if
she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah,
whatever!"
A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed
in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports,
I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been
to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double
checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him
this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they
have accepted my American Express!"...
A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go
from Chicago to Rhino, New York."
The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said, "Are you
sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some
searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."
The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!"
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered,
"You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she said...
I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her
hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window...
I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown.
I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you
look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to
make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in
Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ...
(click).
A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we
did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said
he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied,
"Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin
state!"..
I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see
England from Canada?"
I said, "No."
She said, "But they look so close on the map."...
An aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent
A car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had
only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to
rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need
a car to drive between the gates to save time."..
An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it
was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into
Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead
of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought
that!......
A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?"
I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag
on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that is
very rude?"
After putting her on hold for a minute while I 'looked into it' (I was
actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno,
CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on
her luggage...
A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper
to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do
I know which plane to get on?"
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on
them."...
A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do
I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if
she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah,
whatever!"
A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed
in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports,
I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been
to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double
checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him
this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they
have accepted my American Express!"...
A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go
from Chicago to Rhino, New York."
The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said, "Are you
sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some
searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."
The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!"
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered,
"You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she said...
