And a bottle of wine!! (A friday night Brutuskend JOKE!)

[Brutuskend]

A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a nearby table all alone.

He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her knowing that, if she accepts it, she is his.

The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the woman, saying this is from the gentleman over there. She looks at the wine and sends a note over to the man.

The note reads:"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and seven inches in your pants.

"The man, after reading her note, chuckles, and sends a note of his own back to her, and it read: "Just so you know, I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850iLand a Mercedes 600SL in my garage, and I have over twenty-five million dollars in the bank.

But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off. JUST SEND THE BOTTLE BACK."

 

[brtspears2]

I thought having big powerful cars is directly proprotional to not too many inches in the pants....

but otherwise, good joke.

 

[BlamoHammer]

Hehe good one!

Couple more like that and it may motivate me to break a few jokes out of the collection.

 

[HappyPuppy]

Go for it Brutuskend. You have been challenged by PCHO.

 

[Brutuskend]

Well this isn't my BEST by far, but.........................

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighborhood and are celebrating their sixtieth wedding
anniversary. They walk down the street to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the old desk they'd shared and where he had carved
"I love you, Sally."


On their way back home, a bag of money falls out of an armored car practically at their feet. She quickly picks it up, but they don't know what to do with it so they take it home. There, she counts the money, and it's fifty thousand dollars.


The husband says, "We've got to give it back."

She says, "Finders keepers." And she puts the money back in the bag and hides it up in their attic.


The next day, two FBI men are going door-to-door in the neighborhood looking for the money and show up at their home. They say, "Pardon me, but did
either of you find any money that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"

She says, "No."


The husband says, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."

She says, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile."


But the agents sit the man down and begin to question him. One says, "Tell us how you found the money, from the beginning."

The old man says, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday..."


The FBI guy looks at his partner and says, "Let's get out of here."

 

[Sluggo]

You know, you tell your personal experiences to one or two people, next thing you know its all over the internet.

EDIT
Dammit, he puts another joke up before I post, and I look like an old senile man

 

[Brutuskend]

GOTCHA!!!

 

[yakko]

haha

 

[bmacd]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
The note reads:"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and seven inches in your pants.

i'm not doing too bad...1 for 3...and no, i don't own a mercedes!

-=bmacd=-

 

[bmacd]

two jokes in one thread...what a treat

-=bmacd=-

 

[spp]

i'm so glad that i'm reading this

 

[Talon02]

Originally posted by: bmacd

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
The note reads:"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and seven inches in your pants.

i'm not doing too bad...1 for 3...and no, i don't own a mercedes!

-=bmacd=-

Sweet, you are a millionaire!!!!

 

[spp]

encor!! we want more jokees!!

 

[Adul]

Brutuskend should get his own tack to the top joke a day post