Anandtech Member Exclusive: Comedian Wanda Sykes Terrorized Live On Stage

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sportage

Lifer
Feb 1, 2008
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Comedian Wanda Sykes, appearing in Des Moines Iowa at the historic Hoyt Sherman Palace, had her stage act interrupted by the appearance of an unwanted bat dive bombing and terrorizing the comedian.
The notorious bat, a frequent and unwelcome visitor in the Hoyt Sherman auditorium, appeared once again Saturday evening 3/21 during the latter half of Wanda's standup performance.

At first, Wanda was unaware of the presents of the flying bat above the performers head, as the audience began reacting loudly as the crazed bat dive bombed the stage as well as into the audience.

Looking up, Wanda suddenly caught a glimpse of the fluttering winged fellow, and the comedian began running back and forth trying to avoid a head on collision.
As a stage hand tried to hand Wanda a snow shovel to protect herself, Wanda said, "Fuck that. Sorry Des Moines, but I'm cutting this act short".

With a stage hand now visible in the wing, holding a yellow snow shovel in hand, Wanda continued with one last joke about life with her French speaking white family.
The bat, finally no where to be seen but no doubt still hiding somewhere in the shadows, Wanda finished her last joke, then briefly thanking the audience, swiftly exited stage right.

Wanda's first time performing live in Des Moines, I somehow have the gut feeling this will probably by choice be her last time.

Despite the bat attempts for equal stage time, Wanda brought down the house with her comedy wit.

"What is it with parents discipline and kids today? If my mother was held to the same rules as parents are today, my mother would just about now be getting out of prison."
"Hell. With society today, I have to put my kids in the car, drive them across the border, just to beat their ass".
"Ok kids, you really done it this time. We're getting a room for three days in Mexico and I'm beating your ass good". You ain't never pulling that shit again".
Wanda Sykes

"And what is this shit with the way they treat the president? The first black president. I'm not pulling the race card, but you know we black folk earn two race cards every year. So we can damn well use em."
Wanda Sykes

"And if I were Michelle Obama, I wouldn't take this shit. There I would be, at some dinner, and Mitch McConnell's wife gets up to visit the power room. Damn right I'm following right in behind her, and kick her ass all over the place".
"What is it with that Mitch McConnell? He's one mean mother ****er".
"From day one Mitch said it was his goal to make Obama a one term president.
A term president? What the F**K is up with that?"
Wanda Sykes

"And they all want to see the presidents birth certificate.
Birth certificate?
WTF?
Are they all too dumb to know Hawaii is part of the United States?
I mean, just because it isn't attached.
Hell. Even the Brady Bunch went to Hawaii."
Wanda Sykes
 
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phucheneh

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Jun 30, 2012
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I can't tell if the article is satire. Are those actually supposed to be jokes? Jesus fucking unfunny Christ, man.
 

Grooveriding

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Dec 25, 2008
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OP is an idiot.

JcBpBoL.gif
 

Ichinisan

Lifer
Oct 9, 2002
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People are idiots. They always think bats attack people. They don't.

The bat was diving at little tiny mosquitoes and bugs that were attracted to the stage lights. They're also way too agile to accidentally run into her.
 
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