Amusing conversation with a drunk at 5:30AM

Oct 4, 2004
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Just got back.... I went out at around five in the morning (here) for some tea and cigarettes. On my way back home, I see this old guy (~50) wearing a suit gesturing for a lift. I stop, he hops on my bike and I ask him how far up the road he's going. Now the dude was actually going 2 miles up the road away from my home but I figured what the hell, it's 5AM and I'm bored.

This is the conversation on the bike ride:

Creepy Old Man: Thank you, this is very kind of you. Thank you.
Me: Don't mention it. People have given me rides in the past, I'm helpin you out. You do the same if you ever get the chance.
Creepy Old Man: No, I really thank you. This is very thoughtful of you.
Me: Yeah, no problem.
Creepy Old Man: You must be in college?
Me: Yeah, this is my final semester.
Creepy Old Man: I'm rich, very rich. You know that car workshop on xxx road? That's mine.
Me: Cool, that's great.
Creepy Old Man: Yes, and you know that clothing store on xxx road? That's my brother's.
Me: Cool
Creepy Old Man: If you ever need clothes, or your car fixed, call me. I'll give you a discount.
Me: Cool, thanks.
Creepy Old Man: I'm just really sorry I'm drunk. Do I smell?
Me: It's alright.
Creepy Old Man: No, it isn't. Muslims shouldn't drink, it's against our religion. Are you Muslim? Do you drink?
Me: Yes, and I don't drink. But it's cool if you drink. To each his own.
Creepy Old Man: But I shouldn't. I'm rich and successful, why should I walk around drunk at 5 in the morning?
Me: I don't know, doesn't it feel good? Drinking?
Creepy Old Man: Oh yes, it's the best. If you ever want to drink, let me know. I always have stuff lying around.
Me: Cool.
Creepy Old Man: Really, I party every night. We even have women over. If you want, you can come over.
Me: Cool, thanks for the offer.
Creepy Old Man: Seriously, you did a very nice thing by offering me a lift. I like you. If you ever want any booze or pussy - free - you come over.
Me: Uhh, okay.
Creepy Old Man: Once again, I apologize for being drunk.
Me: It's alright.

For the duration of the short ride to his house, he keeps going on and on about how sorry he is about his drunk state. I finally stop at his house.

Creepy Old Man: You want to come inside?
(At this point, I'm wondering if this dude plans on robbing me or something)
Me: Nah, I'm okay. I have to get going any way.
Creepy Old Man: No, I want to thank you. Do you smoke? I have cigarettes...and booze...and if you want, I can arrange some girls.
Me: That is very nice of you, but some other time maybe. I mean hey, I know where you live now.
Creepy Old Man: No, you think I'm just crazy and drunk. Trust me, we had some very hot girls here last night. They will do anything.
Me: Yeah cool, thanks for the offer. I gotta get going.
Creepy Old Man: Where are you going?
Me: It's time for the Fajr prayer. (The dawn prayer for Muslims)
Creepy Old Man: Holy ******, you pray?
Me: Uh, yeah.
Creepy Old Man: Damn, I offered booze and hookers to a praying Muslim brother?
Me: Uh, it's alright. I don't judge.
Creepy Old Man: I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry I'm drunk and I did this. You wanna come inside? I will make some tea. Don't feel shy, no one's home.
Me: I'm running late for the prayer.
Creepy Old Man: Oh yes, I forgot. Well, if you ever want any booze or some nice girls, let me know. Here's my card.

I shifted to first and got the hell out of there with a weird grin on my face. Weird people walk the streets in the morning, I guess.
 
Oct 4, 2004
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Originally posted by: Captante
So why exactly did you pick this guy up again ?!?

I don't know, I pick up hitchhikers all the time (maybe paying it forward for all the nice people who gave me lifts when I needed them?) I figured he was walking to the next bus stop which was a mile up the road so I figured, what the hell.

Never really heard of psychotic serial-killer hitchhikers out here :D

Originally posted by: pray4mojo
FREE PUSSY?!

I really, really doubted that :p
 

Captante

Lifer
Oct 20, 2003
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Originally posted by: theprodigalrebel
Originally posted by: Captante
So why exactly did you pick this guy up again ?!?

I don't know, I pick up hitchhikers all the time (maybe paying it forward for all the nice people who gave me lifts when I needed them?) I figured he was walking to the next bus stop which was a mile up the road so I figured, what the hell.

Never really heard of psychotic serial-killer hitchhikers out here :D




Well let this be a lesson to you! ;)


Seriously... its one thing to pick up a teenager in the middle of the afternoon & quite another to pick up a creepy guy at 5:30am ... glad we didn't hear about you on the evening news!