Americans circle of friends is shrinking...

Accipiter22

Banned
Feb 11, 2005
7,942
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0
http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/06/23/friends.health.reut/index.html

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- Americans are more socially isolated than they were 20 years ago, separated by work, commuting and the single life, researchers reported on Friday.

Nearly a quarter of people surveyed said they had "zero" close friends with whom to discuss personal matters. More than 50 percent named two or fewer confidants, most often immediate family members, the researchers said.

"This is a big social change, and it indicates something that's not good for our society," said Duke University Professor Lynn Smith-Lovin, lead author on the study to be published in the American Sociological Review.

Smith-Lovin's group used data from a national survey of 1,500 American adults that has been ongoing since 1972.

She said it indicated people had a surprising drop in the number of close friends since 1985. At that time, Americans most commonly said they had three close friends whom they had known for a long time, saw often, and with whom they shared a number of interests.

They were almost as likely to name four or five friends, and the relationships often sprang from their neighborhoods or communities.

Ties to a close network of friends create a social safety net that is good for society, and for the individual. Research has linked social support and civic participation to a longer life, Smith-Lovin said.

People were not asked why they had fewer intimate ties, but Smith-Lovin said that part of the cause could be that Americans are working more, marrying later, having fewer children, and commuting longer distances.

The data also show the social isolation trend mirrors other class divides: Non-whites and people with less education tend to have smaller social networks than white Americans and the highly educated.

That means that in daily life, personal emergencies and national disasters such as Hurricane Katrina, those with the fewest resources also have the fewest personal friends to call for advice and assistance.

"It's one thing to know someone and exchange e-mails with them. It's another thing to say, 'Will you give me a ride out of town with all of my possessions and pets? And can I stay with you for a couple or three months?" Smith-Lovin said.

"Worrying about social isolation is not a matter of nostalgia for a warm and cuddly past. Real things are strongly connected with that," added Harvard University Public Policy Professor Robert Putnam, author of "Bowling Alone," a book on the decline of American community.

He suggested flexible work schedules would allow Americans to tend both personal and professional lives.
 

Descartes

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
13,968
2
0
My experiences would agree with that. I have a lot of acquaintances, but I do have a few close friends that I can really talk to about personal things. I know a lot of people that have a lot of friends, but they're never anyone they can turn to if they need help.

That said, my mother, father, brother, sister-in-law, and grandparents are my best friends. I talk to them about anything and everything, and there are never any conditions on the relationship. Family > *
 

Ronstang

Lifer
Jul 8, 2000
12,493
18
81
Not me. I have quite a few very good and very close friends that I could count on for just about anything with just a phone call. You have to be a good friend to have good friends and you have to have social skills to make friends......which you don't develop sitting behind a computer or video game console. This shift is more a generational one than anything.
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,584
985
126
Originally posted by: Accipiter22
http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/06/23/friends.health.reut/index.html

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- Americans are more socially isolated than they were 20 years ago, separated by work, commuting and the single life, researchers reported on Friday.

Nearly a quarter of people surveyed said they had "zero" close friends with whom to discuss personal matters. More than 50 percent named two or fewer confidants, most often immediate family members, the researchers said.

"This is a big social change, and it indicates something that's not good for our society," said Duke University Professor Lynn Smith-Lovin, lead author on the study to be published in the American Sociological Review.

Smith-Lovin's group used data from a national survey of 1,500 American adults that has been ongoing since 1972.

She said it indicated people had a surprising drop in the number of close friends since 1985. At that time, Americans most commonly said they had three close friends whom they had known for a long time, saw often, and with whom they shared a number of interests.

They were almost as likely to name four or five friends, and the relationships often sprang from their neighborhoods or communities.

Ties to a close network of friends create a social safety net that is good for society, and for the individual. Research has linked social support and civic participation to a longer life, Smith-Lovin said.

People were not asked why they had fewer intimate ties, but Smith-Lovin said that part of the cause could be that Americans are working more, marrying later, having fewer children, and commuting longer distances.

The data also show the social isolation trend mirrors other class divides: Non-whites and people with less education tend to have smaller social networks than white Americans and the highly educated.

That means that in daily life, personal emergencies and national disasters such as Hurricane Katrina, those with the fewest resources also have the fewest personal friends to call for advice and assistance.

"It's one thing to know someone and exchange e-mails with them. It's another thing to say, 'Will you give me a ride out of town with all of my possessions and pets? And can I stay with you for a couple or three months?" Smith-Lovin said.

"Worrying about social isolation is not a matter of nostalgia for a warm and cuddly past. Real things are strongly connected with that," added Harvard University Public Policy Professor Robert Putnam, author of "Bowling Alone," a book on the decline of American community.

He suggested flexible work schedules would allow Americans to tend both personal and professional lives.

Blah blah blah...did they interview a bunch of teenagers or something? I have a great network of close friends.
 

CKDragon

Diamond Member
Jan 22, 2001
3,875
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0
It's easy to see how this can be true.

My fiance and I moved away from our lifelong home state 10 months ago. We're both 24 and all our good friends from back home were through college. We haven't made any new "close" friends down here... mostly just work acquaintances.

Great, now I'm depressed. Thanks. :)

CK
 

zanieladie

Diamond Member
Jan 19, 2003
3,280
1
0
Originally posted by: CKDragon
It's easy to see how this can be true.

My fiance and I moved away from our lifelong home state 10 months ago. We're both 24 and all our good friends from back home were through college. We haven't made any new "close" friends down here... mostly just work acquaintances.

Great, now I'm depressed. Thanks. :)

CK



Awww. I'm sorry.
 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,019
156
106
I absolutely believe that, I see it all the time with the new hires at work. They ask me for advice on things because they have no close friends to talk to. They work, they go back to their apartment, they sit on the computer all night.

Ever notice how many teens/twenty-somethings won't make definite plans for a future day? They want to keep all options open in case something "better" comes up at the last minute. You don't make good friends that way.

How do you develop good solid relationships if you don't spend time with people? You can't if you stay home all the time. Do something. Pick up a newspaper and see what events are going on in your town, and go to one of them. Join a club. Take a non-credit class. Sign up for dancing lessons. Anything. The more people you meet, the more likely you'll find people you connect with.

I know I've said this before, but hardly anything is as valuable as good, trustworthy friends.
 

Strk

Lifer
Nov 23, 2003
10,197
4
76
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Blah blah blah...did they interview a bunch of teenagers or something? I have a great network of close friends.

Smith-Lovin's group used data from a national survey of 1,500 American adults that has been ongoing since 1972.

And as they said under that shadowy picture:

More than 50 percent of people in a new survey named two or fewer confidants.

More than 50% doesn't mean 100%.
 

aswedc

Diamond Member
Oct 25, 2000
3,543
0
76
Originally posted by: kranky
I absolutely believe that, I see it all the time with the new hires at work. They ask me for advice on things because they have no close friends to talk to. They work, they go back to their apartment, they sit on the computer all night.
What field do you work in?
 

thecoolnessrune

Diamond Member
Jun 8, 2005
9,673
583
126
I'm 17 and I........... hmmm ok i dont really have any friends. OOOH!!! I have this 18 year old dude that i hang with for about 30 minutes every other week!! :D ...... You know, it kinda sucks to be 30 miles from the nearest city :(
 

vi edit

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Oct 28, 1999
62,484
8,345
126
I'd absolutely believe it. True friends are rare anymore. Many people any more are just hollow and unapproachable. Hell, even in my last neighborhood I lived in, I went five years without even knowing the names of some of the people that lived a house or two down from me. You'd walk out side and start approaching them and they'd go back inside. :confused:

In my current home, I talk to my neighbors on a daily basis and plop some chairs down in the driveway and crack a few beers with them after work. That's a rare thing.

People are so wrapped up in their own lives that they completely shut down access to themselves.

I would hazard a guess that it's somewhat related to a level of education/level of career professionalism that you acheive. The more schooling and specialized of a job that someone has, the fewer friends they do have. They just put so much time and effort into their careers that they don't stop to build friendships. Plus in those types of programs/careers there is so much competition that you don't like to get too close to someone that you are trying to beat out for a job or a position.

Sad really.
 

bennylong

Platinum Member
Apr 20, 2006
2,493
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0
Originally posted by: kranky
I absolutely believe that, I see it all the time with the new hires at work. They ask me for advice on things because they have no close friends to talk to. They work, they go back to their apartment, they sit on the computer all night.

s.


Sounds like my life. Go to work, go back to my apartment, sit on the computer all night.

Strangely, I'm very much enjoying this lifestyle. $$$ in the bank.
 

Dr. Detroit

Diamond Member
Sep 25, 2004
8,533
936
126
Welcome to people driven by greed and the abiltiy to own personal posessions. We have no time for firends as we are all trying to get ahead in this world. Getting ahead by working more than 40hrs a week, more like 50hrs + and spending time commuting.

Especailly true for people who move away from their home-towns.



 

vi edit

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Oct 28, 1999
62,484
8,345
126
Originally posted by: Fmr12B
Welcome to people driven by greed and the abiltiy to own personal posessions. We have no time for firends as we are all trying to get ahead in this world. Getting ahead by working more than 40hrs a week, more like 50hrs + and spending time commuting.

Especailly true for people who move away from their home-towns.

That pretty much sums up my life. And I'm working to fix it. After just short of 10 years after away from my home town I'm moving back to within 10 minutes of my parents and several other immediate family members.

Before I was over 6 hours away and neither my wife or I had any real friends or relatives there. My commute was almost 40 minutes each direction and it was a miserable drive. We're moving to a place that makes for about 10 minutes each direction and close to family and much closer to friends of both myself and my wife. We are looking to start a family of our own soon and didn't want to do it without the support of our friends and family.
 

platinumike

Platinum Member
Nov 18, 2004
2,114
3
0
I have alot of people whom we've shared phone numbers, hung out once or twice and never saw them again. Kinda wierd. I guess it is part my fault for not really being socially aware and really interested in their lives, like calling to see how things are.
 

Gunslinger08

Lifer
Nov 18, 2001
13,234
2
81
I have 2 or 3 people who I consider friends. The rest are just people I know. You aren't my friend because I saw you a few times or we talked once.
 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,019
156
106
Originally posted by: aswedc
Originally posted by: kranky
I absolutely believe that, I see it all the time with the new hires at work. They ask me for advice on things because they have no close friends to talk to. They work, they go back to their apartment, they sit on the computer all night.
What field do you work in?

I work with engineers and technicians at a manufacturing company.