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amazon reviewer.

Magic Eight Ball, I love you., September 28, 2004
Magic 8 Ball has successfully predicted the following events in my life: prostate cancer, divorce, bankrupcy, nearby forest fire, bee swarm attack, loss of hair, eye sight, and sexual stimulation, and kids hating me.

Magic 8 Ball however has been wrong and the following events have not happened: winning the lottery, promotion, writing a great American novel, remarriage or reconciliation, bank loans, and/or general happiness.

:laugh:
 
Home Depot Chainsaw with Sound
Let Junior fantasize about his own massacre scenerios with this trusty toy chainsaw. Before long he'll have the entire family tied to chairs as he dances around maniacally with his chainsaw. The fun lasts for exactly 2 and a half minutes (which is of course, all the fun you can hope for when you live in Delaware.)

LMAO.
 
LMAO at the Video Fireplace review:

"I'm sorry, but a movie that's about fire just isn't that appealing. Maybe a pyro would enjoy it, but I can't imagine regular folk liking it. Those kids who work at my movie store are always trying to get me into "indie" fancy-pancy movies, so I gave this one a shot. I really tried to understand it, but 2 hours into it I had just about enough that I could take.

I returned the movie and rented "Spy Kids" instead. It was like "The Godfather" compared to watching this trite, pretensious art film."


Just imagining somebody sitting in front of this really thinking it was a movie is golden. 🙂
 
I bought this "Hot Wheels" wireless vid cam for my 12 year old son who loves hot wheels cars. He quickly taped car races and crashes with this good quality cam and got some of his friends to act in it. We edited the footage for a video tape on my Mac and successfully sold it to a Hollywood studio. We called it, "The Fast and the Furious." If you haven't seen it, check it out on DVD!

BAHAAHAHAH. Even better than the chainsaw.
 
Haven't made it far down enough yet, but I like this one:

"This little toy house is perfect if your hamster is socially inept and seeks a life in utter solitude and isolation from the sexual and socially pressured politics of modern living. If, on the other hand, your hamster is naive and ignorantly optimistic, I recommend a wheel instead"

Maybe each poster can make one post for each of his reviews so we don't have to click on the link!
 
I bought my daughter a really nice home stereo last Christmas, and a few CDs. She absolutely loves Josh Groban and listens to this CD maybe six times a week. I was shocked by Groban's appeal to the younger crowd. Maybe the youth has finally tired of Britney and Christina (which my wife considers a good thing.)

The last year, however, me and my wife were trying to have a baby and have had some bad luck. I went to the doctor for a check-up where I discovered my sperm count was incredibly low. I never had a problem before, but I put two and two together and discovered that Josh Groban had prevented me from reproducing. After hiding the CD, it didn't take long before I could get another bun in the oven. 7 more months! (Please be a boy!)

I recommend this CD for Josh's incredible vocal talents and natural contraceptive abilities.
Click to expand...

bwahahahahahahah
 
Hot Wheels World Race Xtreme Wireless Video Cam
I bought this "Hot Wheels" wireless vid cam for my 12 year old son who loves hot wheels cars. He quickly taped car races and crashes with this good quality cam and got some of his friends to act in it. We edited the footage for a video tape on my Mac and successfully sold it to a Hollywood studio. We called it, "The Fast and the Furious." If you haven't seen it, check it out on DVD!
Click to expand...
^Best

Weber 1647 18" Grill Brush
I have been through a lot of brushes in my day, but I have mixed feelings about the Weber Grill Brush. It's true, it does an excellent job for removing plaque, but this brush is not easy on the gums. I would recommend a softer brush if you have sensitive gums, and obviously floss is necessary with any brush.
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^OUCH!

Fur Real Friends - Gray
I got this for my son because I am allergic to real cats and he really wants a cat. I was unaware, however, that Hasbro uses real cat fur on their toys, which set me into a sneezing, red eyed fit. The included brush tends to rub the hair off of the cat, which then gets distributed throughout the house, onto my pillows. I told my son that Mitsy was hit by a car and we had a funeral for it in the back. I forgot to take out the batteries and it started meowing in the box. What a mess. Thanks a lot Hasbro!
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^😀

Little Leap
If you want to provide more education that our sorry public schools can provide, I recommend this toy. It teaches children how to spell words, which is the cornerstone of any education. The best feature is that Little Leap is very stern. Once it told my son to spell "House" and he spelled it "Hows" (a mistake easily made) but the Frog responded, "If you want to be on welfare, keep spelling wrong and see what happens," to which it shut off immediately afterwards for nearly 2 hours. My son was devastated, but he learned to spell House quite quickly after that.
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^Okay, I want to get a toy like that for people I know.
 
This little toy house is perfect if your hamster is socially inept and seeks a life in utter solitude and isolation from the sexual and socially pressured politics of modern living. If, on the other hand, your hamster is naive and ignorantly optimistic, I recommend a wheel instead.
this guy is good
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Click to expand...
 
Junior Grand Tabletop Piano:
Unless your child is proficient in piano, this toy will provide countless hours of horror in two-octaves.
 
Talking Fashion Vanity Offered by Toysrus.com:


Make your Daughter as shallow as possible, August 4, 2004
This is a great toy for your daughter or sexually-confused son. As opposed to running around and playing all the time (ohh, how annoying) she now sits in front of the mirror for most of the day. Only occasionally does she approach me and ask if I think her nose is too big. I just laugh and send her back to the mirror.
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OMGWTFBBQLMFAO!!!1
 
Rip Curl Classic 2.2 Spring Offered by Big Winds

Upgrade your Superhero Costume!, August 22, 2004
This outfit allows you to fight crime at ease. It's stretchy material gives you to maximum amount of comfort and movement while also promoting defense against proton and laser type attacks.
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:laugh:
 
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