Amazon is running out of toilet paper.

[renz20003]

I was teasing my wife by saying there's a rumor that the US government wants to quarantine the entire nation for 40 days. She wants to start doomsday prepping now so she started amazon shopping.

Her first item to purchase was you guessed it toilet paper. We might not have food or water but by god we won’t have dirty butts.

 

[shortylickens]

Do people think Coronavirus comes with diarrhea ?

 

[renz20003]

Do people think Coronavirus comes with diarrhea ?

Better yet for millennia human beings wiped their asses without paper products. Time to invent the 3 sea shells from demolition man.

 

[VirtualLarry]

She wants to start doom-prepping... now? She's... a little late, given the current circumstances. GL.

 

[Mai72]

Plenty of TP in my area.

 

[lxskllr]

WTF's up with hoarding toilet paper?! Of all the things to hoard, that's one of the least useful. I'm gonna be pissed if I go to the store in a couple weeks, and there isn't any toilet paper for me to buy the *single* roll I get every couple of weeks.

 

[Kaido]

WTF's up with hoarding toilet paper?! Of all the things to hoard, that's one of the least useful. I'm gonna be pissed if I go to the store in a couple weeks, and there isn't any toilet paper for me to buy the *single* roll I get every couple of weeks.

It's like the milk & bread thing whenever there's a storm. Are you planning on making massive quantities of French toast? lol

 

[renz20003]

WTF's up with hoarding toilet paper?! Of all the things to hoard, that's one of the least useful. I'm gonna be pissed if I go to the store in a couple weeks, and there isn't any toilet paper for me to buy the *single* roll I get every couple of weeks.

I know like do people plan on crapping 30 times a day? Go find a rag or some leafs.

 

[13Gigatons]

This is getting serious. I hope Tom Hanks has enough TP in his house.

 

[RearAdmiral]

My SIL complimented my bidet purchase, after making fun of me for it 2 months ago. I'll be spraying my way to the bank all day.

 

[sandorski]

WTF's up with hoarding toilet paper?! Of all the things to hoard, that's one of the least useful. I'm gonna be pissed if I go to the store in a couple weeks, and there isn't any toilet paper for me to buy the *single* roll I get every couple of weeks.

Then you better get out there and fight for what you will need!... ;colbert;

 

[lxskllr]

Then you better get out there and fight for what you will need!... ;colbert;

10-4. I'll take my axe and a 6' length of chain. I'm gonna get my fuckin' toiletpaper!

 

[IronWing]

You're welcome.

The Three Seashells by REDACT3D_

Well you've been waiting for it and now it's here! The three seashells from the movie Demolition Man! Stop dragging your knuckles with such outdated things as wads of toilet paper and prepare your bathroom for the distant future of 1996 by installing these beautiful (and functional) shells...

www.thingiverse.com

 

[sandorski]

10-4. I'll take my axe and a 6' length of chain. I'm gonna get my fuckin' toiletpaper!

That's the spirit!

 

[BarkingGhostar]

Is 'the sh!ts' one of the symptoms of COVID19? Do people actually stock less than a 14-day supply of TP in their homes? When the wife and I buy TP it is on a regular basis, not some sale or outbreak, but we usually buy a couple of 144-roll packages, which means the two of us are not buying so frequently.

 

[nakedfrog]

I'm pretty sure people are panic buying just because other people are panic buying.

 

[BarkingGhostar]

One can't live on TP. Edible? Yes. Nutritious? Fuck no. I've been buying canned food by the case from Amazon for a year now. Me tummy's happy.

 

[OccamsToothbrush]

I bought it. All of it, cornered the market on every single roll. All your asses are belong to me.

 

[IronWing]

I bought it. All of it, cornered the market on every single roll. All your asses are belong to me.

You're the first person who ever wanted my ass. <3

 

[zinfamous]

I've got a mostly dead tree in my back yard that has been dropping bark and giant branches for over a year now. I'm sure I can strip those down to sheets if the need ever arises.

 

[Stopsignhank]

We were running low over the weekend and I genuinely needed to buy some. I felt like an asshole hoarder running around with TP in my cart.

 

[OccamsToothbrush]

You're the first person who ever wanted my ass. <3

I don't want it, I'm confident of what you might pay to get it back. And if that fails. I'll sell it to the Chinese so they can do medical experiments on it to look for a virus cure. And thus, everything comes full circle.

 

[darkswordsman17]

WTF's up with hoarding toilet paper?! Of all the things to hoard, that's one of the least useful. I'm gonna be pissed if I go to the store in a couple weeks, and there isn't any toilet paper for me to buy the *single* roll I get every couple of weeks.

Oh great, so you're one of those guys? "I only need a single roll, but I have to buy at least 4? Don't even get me started on the conspiracy between the hot dog and hot dog bun makers!"

We were running low over the weekend and I genuinely needed to buy some. I felt like an asshole hoarder running around with TP in my cart.

Just be glad you didn't get shanked by Karen.

 

[snoopy7548]

I mean, worst-case just jump in the shower afterwards. I don't see why not having toilet paper means you can't shit or clean yourself.

 

[Stopsignhank]

Just be glad you didn't get shanked by Karen.

Karen is the one who sent me to the store. (My wife's name.)