I realize that the likelihood of my being the sole person not affected emotionally is nearly non-existent but I still post this for discussion.
I rarely watch television and get my news from drudgereport.com and from discussion with people so I found out about this late just as it happened.
My initial reaction was: well hot damn, so it finally happened. It was only a matter of time before it would knowing how much US government (read US businesses) piss off the international community and particularly the militants in the middle east. Then my thoughts went to what could have driven the people to hijack the plane and to do what they did. Thenm I thought about the logistics of the entire situation and how much effort and coordination something of this scale had to take. I must admit I was impressed by the scale and timing of this entire attack.
Then I switched to a radical religious perspective to try and see how one with that worldview would take this as the hand of Allah or as retribution for the "sins of America", etc, etc.
Then I switched perspectives again and tried to really understand the political significance of this and how it compares to past historical events and the possible future paths people will take.
Then I switched to an overall critique of the social milieu. I thought: well hmm, looks like the US thinks that democracy is the only right solution and has a "right" to protect its interests and the "civilized world".
Then I got a little pissed at the civilized world and found irony in that it treats its enemies in the same way and does the exact same things. And people consider that normal, justified, and necessary for the protection of "what is right".
I remembered the treatment of the various natives, south africa, stalin, conquistadores, etc came to mind. Then I thought about the irony again and really couldn't get past that.
Only after about 4-5 hours of various switchings of perspectives did I realize that human lives were lost. Even then I started debating with myself the value of human life, the value of others' lives, how idiotic it seems to hold a superior attitude, and then the unaviodability of holding one's own views as the absolute by which all must live.
Then that led me to an interesting observance about relativity and psychological detachment in extreme academics. I notices that this is exactly what I was engaging in since the human death didn't bother me. And that led me back to reflecting about just why I was so desensetized and hence this post.
Here's how I see it. I have seen so much suffering and thought about the suffering encountered by others, especially my friends and family members. I thought about the pain I cause others and the pain that is present in human life as an unavoidable aspect of existence. I have undergone all of this and it seems to me that in all of this detachment and objectivity has led me to satisfaction. In effect, I lead the life of the philosopher; constantly in contemplation. That is according to some, the best and ideal life. Even if I tried hard, I still couldn't feel anything toward those people or the loss of their families. It seems so pointless. They were here and now they are not. Ashes to ashes and earth to earth. Such tragedies occur every day.
Have I become a cold-hearter bastard who needs to stop thinking too much and get back down to earth to live life? Or is this a semi-normal reaction to the experienced I have had. I deal with this by thinking about it and by talking about it. But is my emotional involvement somehow abberant?
I invite any insights and if anyone is in a similar position of a sort of apathy, please PM me or post.
Oh just as a side note: I spent the day working outside repairing my roof so I didn't even reflect on this in the solitude of my study or some other atmosphere conducive to thought.
Why don't you move in with GoldenBear? You and he seem to have a lot in common.
AnandTech Moderator
I rarely watch television and get my news from drudgereport.com and from discussion with people so I found out about this late just as it happened.
My initial reaction was: well hot damn, so it finally happened. It was only a matter of time before it would knowing how much US government (read US businesses) piss off the international community and particularly the militants in the middle east. Then my thoughts went to what could have driven the people to hijack the plane and to do what they did. Thenm I thought about the logistics of the entire situation and how much effort and coordination something of this scale had to take. I must admit I was impressed by the scale and timing of this entire attack.
Then I switched to a radical religious perspective to try and see how one with that worldview would take this as the hand of Allah or as retribution for the "sins of America", etc, etc.
Then I switched perspectives again and tried to really understand the political significance of this and how it compares to past historical events and the possible future paths people will take.
Then I switched to an overall critique of the social milieu. I thought: well hmm, looks like the US thinks that democracy is the only right solution and has a "right" to protect its interests and the "civilized world".
Then I got a little pissed at the civilized world and found irony in that it treats its enemies in the same way and does the exact same things. And people consider that normal, justified, and necessary for the protection of "what is right".
I remembered the treatment of the various natives, south africa, stalin, conquistadores, etc came to mind. Then I thought about the irony again and really couldn't get past that.
Only after about 4-5 hours of various switchings of perspectives did I realize that human lives were lost. Even then I started debating with myself the value of human life, the value of others' lives, how idiotic it seems to hold a superior attitude, and then the unaviodability of holding one's own views as the absolute by which all must live.
Then that led me to an interesting observance about relativity and psychological detachment in extreme academics. I notices that this is exactly what I was engaging in since the human death didn't bother me. And that led me back to reflecting about just why I was so desensetized and hence this post.
Here's how I see it. I have seen so much suffering and thought about the suffering encountered by others, especially my friends and family members. I thought about the pain I cause others and the pain that is present in human life as an unavoidable aspect of existence. I have undergone all of this and it seems to me that in all of this detachment and objectivity has led me to satisfaction. In effect, I lead the life of the philosopher; constantly in contemplation. That is according to some, the best and ideal life. Even if I tried hard, I still couldn't feel anything toward those people or the loss of their families. It seems so pointless. They were here and now they are not. Ashes to ashes and earth to earth. Such tragedies occur every day.
Have I become a cold-hearter bastard who needs to stop thinking too much and get back down to earth to live life? Or is this a semi-normal reaction to the experienced I have had. I deal with this by thinking about it and by talking about it. But is my emotional involvement somehow abberant?
I invite any insights and if anyone is in a similar position of a sort of apathy, please PM me or post.
Oh just as a side note: I spent the day working outside repairing my roof so I didn't even reflect on this in the solitude of my study or some other atmosphere conducive to thought.
Why don't you move in with GoldenBear? You and he seem to have a lot in common.
AnandTech Moderator
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