Am I the only one who can't trust themselves?

[Ryan]

Am I the only one who can't trust themselves to follow through with things - goals, tasks, etc? Before moving out on my own, I always had someone to push me, and keep me in line - to keep me focused on school, I used to set priorities, and accomplish goals.

Ever since I moved out on my own, I can't trust myself to do anything. I can set a goal, but following through with it is out of the question. It's like I always find stupid sh!t to get hung up on. I sit down to do my homework, and I'll find some off the wall task, which I will convince myself is a necessity, and do it rather than my work.

It's like this with everything - I have goals to do things around my house, but I can never find the time because I'm always d!cking around. It's like procrastination is ingrained into my thought process.

I want to do good in school, but I can't find the motivation to do it. I want to do little things that used to make me happy, like working on my yard (gay, I know), but I just seems that I can never get it done. I see two paths, the path to success, and the path to failure - and it's like I always head towards the latter. I can always see it coming, but I can't ever stop the train. I lie to myself, and it's really taking a toll on me - I seriously feel like I haven't accomplished anything in the past year - I've just floundered.

The only constant is work - and that's only because I have people there to keep me in line (which isn't very hard - it's doens't take a brain surgeon to deliver a fvcking pizza, althought after working with so many flunkies, sometimes I wonder if it does).

Maybe I just can't ever be satisfied with myself. I see my peers excelling in school - everyone around me seems to be on a path to making something of themselves. Me - I can't pass a fvcking math class or programming class to save my life, because I'm a lazy fvck.

What does it take to convince myself that these things are important? How can I care?

I was thinking about calling up my insurance and making a call to a psychiatrist - maybe I can get them to drug me up on some Concerta or Adderall. The fact that I'd actually be able to accomplish something in my life, even with the help/shame of using one of these medications, would mean the world to me. I'd like to be able to control this problem myself - but it just seems like I'm nearing a crest when it comes to certain things, and I don't have the time to fvck up trying to repair bad habits in the process.

</tired rant>

 

[MikeMike]

im in your stance.

im trying to get a future for myself, my parents are going to ass rape me when i get my final grades...

luckily i have very supportive aunt who has helped many of my uncles through as well, and they all went on to great futures, even if they did flunk out.

sometimes its just a change of degree, you need to accel in what you study, i dont, i dislike it now, ive slacked off, it sucks, life sucks, ive thought of everything on how to change etc.

right now im hoping a change of scenery will do.

 

[Sheepathon]

Adderall ftw.

 

[iamaelephant]

So you're lazy and you want to medicate because of it? You sound like a stereotypical American to me.

 

[MikeMike]

Originally posted by: Falcon39
So you're lazy and you want to medicate because of it? You sound like a stereotypical American to me.

if he is in any sort of situation like i am, i cant get motivated to do it.

ill start, and ill stop.

hell when i read books, if not interesting, ill day dream while reading, ill fall asleep mid sentence, i just cant keep interested in ANYTHING if it doesnt change rapidly. it needs to touch numerous subjects.

theres a reason i am thinking of pre-law, business law. research, need to know lots of DIFFERENT stuff, different events occur all the time, etc.

 

[Ryan]

Originally posted by: Falcon39
So you're lazy and you want to medicate because of it? You sound like a stereotypical American to me.

And you sound like a typical foreigner, because someone who lives in New Zealand is capable of dissecting typical American life, with all the exposure you get from TV and the movies.

 

[iamaelephant]

Originally posted by: Ryan

Originally posted by: Falcon39
So you're lazy and you want to medicate because of it? You sound like a stereotypical American to me.

And you sound like a typical foreigner, because someone who lives in New Zealand is capable of dissecting typical American life, with all the exposure you get from TV and the movies.

:roll:

 

[MikeMike]

Originally posted by: Falcon39

Originally posted by: Ryan

Originally posted by: Falcon39
So you're lazy and you want to medicate because of it? You sound like a stereotypical American to me.

And you sound like a typical foreigner, because someone who lives in New Zealand is capable of dissecting typical American life, with all the exposure you get from TV and the movies.

:roll:

just stfu cuz you just got owned bitch.

 

[compuwiz1]

The promises you make to yourself are the most important. Lower your expectations of yourself until you can keep all of them, then raise your task levels / expectations.

 

[nCred]

Yeah, same with me, I have to feel pressured otherwise I don´t do anything.

 

[I Saw OJ]

I feel the same way, its hard to do things that you know are good for you and your future, but just arent interesting and/or exciting at the moment. Like I need to start getting more exercise and going to the gym, but I still make BS excuses for myself and end up not going, its like I need someone to slap me in the face.

 

[skace]

I failed out of college because of that, but it didn't matter much.

 

[Siddhartha]

OP,

It sounds like your goals are not important to you. Are they really your goals or are you trying to meet other peoples' expectations of you?

 

[remagavon]

Unfortunately there's a fairly fine lnie between lacking self discipline and having a serious problem that can impact your daily life in ways like you describe. It's hard to determine which is which unless exensive testing is invoked, which is rarely used in the medical world... instead medications like the ones you mention are thrown around on almost a whim depending on your doctor. I'm basically in a similar situation, well, without the gardening.

Disregarding the above, it sounds like you might just be depressed? Do something that you love to do, and you might find that everything else falls into place once your state of mind gets a lift.

 

[Lonyo]

Originally posted by: MIKEMIKE

Originally posted by: Falcon39

Originally posted by: Ryan

Originally posted by: Falcon39
So you're lazy and you want to medicate because of it? You sound like a stereotypical American to me.

And you sound like a typical foreigner, because someone who lives in New Zealand is capable of dissecting typical American life, with all the exposure you get from TV and the movies.

:roll:

just stfu cuz you just got owned bitch.

Originally posted by: compuwiz1
Gotta love the pimple farmers these days. They think everything sucks, and everything is their right, except the work involved to attain everything. :roll:

 

[Siddhartha]

Originally posted by: Falcon39
So you're lazy and you want to medicate because of it? You sound like a stereotypical American to me.

Please share the nformation that are you using to make this generalization of over 200 million people.

 

[Beige]

Originally posted by: Siddhartha
OP,

It sounds like your goals are not important to you. Are they really your goals or are you trying to meet other peoples' expectations of you?

"trying to meet other peoples' expectations"

BINGO!!!

 

[radioouman]

OP,

I went through exactly what you are going through when I started college.
I was on acedemic probation for the first two years.
I ran a pirate radio station for a good part of the first year, and that's what I put all of my time into.

After those two years, I told myself that I didn't want to be someone who couldn't get any internships because my GPA was too low, etc. So I transferred to another school, and got my butt into gear until I graduated.

I know that I was very depressed for my first year, but my second year went much better. After I left that school, everything was fine.