Am I mooching too much ?

[polm]

A very good friend of mine lives in Manhattan. He has an amazing studio apartment at Cooper Square.

He travels a lot on business, and whenever he comes down to Memphis (where I live) he stays at my house.

Now...he would NEVER say that it was a problem, unless there was a scheduling conflict due to another frend using his place, if I were to stay at his apartment when I come to vacation in NYC.

In-fact he let me spend almost a week there alone with my Ex last summer.


Well, I have a week of vacation time to spend, but not a lot of cash to back it up.

My current GF is hounding me to take a trip with her somewhere. She suggested camping, cus it's cheap.


So now I realize that I have the miles to get 1 free ticket to NYC, along with a discounted ticket for my GF (approx 200$) .

Should I feel bad asking my friend to use his place .... again ? I wouldn't feel so bad if he was going to be in town, but like last summer he'll be gone most of the week I am planning on going.


What do y'all think ?

Am I taking unnecessary advantage ? Am I being too much of a mooch ?

 

[minendo]

Just ask him.

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

He travels a lot on business, and whenever he comes down to Memphis (where I live) he stays at my house.

How often does that turn out to be?

 

[Heisenberg]

If he stays with you, then it's certainly fair for you to stay at his place.

 

[Aharami]

go ahead and ask. if he's really a "very good friend" of yours, he wont mind...but will say no if there is a "scheduling conflict"

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: minendo
Just ask him.

I did...he said it's no problem as long as noone else (brother, parents, etc.) is planning on being there.

 

[PanzerIV]

That is what friends do for each other. You both stay at one anothers place when you are in the area and you said he won't even be there the majority of the time. Sounds like you've got a great vacation taking shape there. Ask him and get it over with and I bet he enthusiastically encourages you to visit unless there is some unforseen thing going on in his life.

 

[Papagayo]

Yes,
You should ask to see how much it would cost to stay at his place for a week. He might offer you to stay for free, but you shouldn't ask to stay for free first..

If he offers for free, then it's ok. But if you ask to stay for free, then you are mooching.

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: Heisenberg
If he stays with you, then it's certainly fair for you to stay at his place.

tru...but I am always home when he comes here. I would have no problem with him staying at my place while I was out of town...but still, i feel kinda moochy.

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: Yo_Ma-Ma

He travels a lot on business, and whenever he comes down to Memphis (where I live) he stays at my house.

How often does that turn out to be?

3 or 4 times this year, so far.

 

[styrafoam]

I would say as long as you are tit for tat, as in he stayed with you last time so its your turn to stay with him.

 

[gistech1978]

if hes a good friend of yours and you took care of his place last time.
i fail to see why it would be a problem.

if the person staying kept the house clean and respected my stuff, sure no problem.

now if i let someone stay and made a mess ate all my food and did nothing to reciprocate, thats mooching and i wouldnt let them stay.

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: Yo_Ma-Ma

He travels a lot on business, and whenever he comes down to Memphis (where I live) he stays at my house.

How often does that turn out to be?

3 or 4 times this year, so far.

It's probably fine.. sounds like he would either say something or make up some kind of scheduling conflict if it wasn't OK.

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: styrafoam
I would say as long as you are tit for tat, as in he stayed with you last time so its your turn to stay with him.

but he wont be there....and I am planning on bringing my GF. He has never brought his girls to Memphis...but I dunno if they really would want to come ;-)

 

[bockchow]

leave the place cleaner than you found it and don't break anything. if you do those things there's little chance he'll even notice you were ever there.

 

[ThePresence]

Originally posted by: Papagayo
Yes,
You should ask to see how much it would cost to stay at his place for a week. He might offer you to stay for free, but you shouldn't ask to stay for free first..

If he offers for free, then it's ok. But if you ask to stay for free, then you are mooching.

When a friend does that, it always looks like you're waiting for the guy to offer it for free.

 

[maziwanka]

i say you should just ask him.

if he let you stay there with your ex last summer, i dont see why it would be a problem now (personally i would be pissed if one of my friends stayed at my place with his gf the whole time)

 

[polm]

Originally posted by: maziwanka
(personally i would be pissed if one of my friends stayed at my place with his gf the whole time)

Why ?

I would never have sex in his bed or shower or anything.

 

[EvilYoda]

Originally posted by: polm

Originally posted by: maziwanka
(personally i would be pissed if one of my friends stayed at my place with his gf the whole time)

Why ?

I would never have sex in his bed or shower or anything.

Funny how you defend yourself w/o someone asking...funny. jp jp

I understand your concern, and think it's valid...I guess it's just really up to you (and him) to decide how good of a relationship it is. In my book, that wouldn't be any big deal if it was someone I could trust and would return it how I had given it to him. And if he's not there...good thing and bad thing at the same time. You're watching the place for him and not getting in the way, but he's also not there to hang out with you.

If you're that concerned, I would offer for him to visit you and you guys can have a weekend partying or something.

 

[z0mb13]

dont go detective in his apartment

you might actually find something super weird

 

[nakedfrog]

Nope, you're just fine.

 

[CraigRT]

Just ask, worst that can happen is he'll say no... just be polite or whatever and all will be fine

 

[booger711]

i think it would be okay. remember to extend the invitation for staying at your place. wash and clean everything you use at his place. leave a nice gift certificate when you leave