Am I messing with this girl or am I right?

[Hoeboy]

A little background can be read here: http://forums.anandtech.com/messageview.cfm?catid=38&threadid=311037

So I told myself I'd never speak to this girl again. She called a couple times in the past few days but I chose not to answer. Other day she left a voicemail asking if I'm avoiding her and if not to call her back immediately after I get the voicemail. Of course I didn't. Today she called again. But this time I really didn't hear the celly ring. She left another voicemail saying, "My brother wants to give you back your games so uhm give me a call back."

Her best friend also called and text message me to find out whats up with me although she didn't directly mention the girl. Most likely she was trying to find the 411 but I didn't answer her call also.

My original intention was to dissappear for a few days until I can get the ballz to start acting like nothing is wrong in front of her. I can then make the excuse that i was out of town. But it was just my luck that I went out to get a sandwich today and met her other friend. So now that "out of town" excuse is useless.

I seem to be getting deeper into this everyday. Today I had to lie to her other best friend online saying it was my brother not me on my screen name. I just want some time alone to think things through and be ready to put on a smiley face but now it seems like I'm playing games with everyone and right from the beginning I said I won't do that.

So what is the verdict? Is it in my right to behave this way considering the circumstances or should I quit this before I get my ass into deeper sh*t?

 

[Ulfwald]

Look, from what I have read, she has no respect for you. best thing to do is just ignore her, show that you have a life of your own, and she will really wonder what she is missing.

 

[ChrichtonsGirl]

Sounds like you've decided not to continue pursuing her? If that's the case, then start answering the phone and quit lying - unless she thinks you're dating her, I don't know if you need to explain - it sounds like she's the one that's been playing hard to get. If you haven't decided what you want to do, then figure it out fast and start answering the phone. If you still want her, then you're going to have to explain why you've been dodging her for the last few days.

In any event, hiding out and ignoring the phone really isn't a good option. Hiding from someone never improves a situation, and even though you think it'll take "ballz" to act like nothing happened, it just takes maturity, whether you've got balls or not. There's no reason to pretend you're feeling something you aren't, and there's no reason to hide what you are feeling. Sorry if that's confusing, but I guess the basic message is that you should be honest - you'll make less enemies by just coming clean with everyone.

 

[Hoeboy]

i think my biggest concern now is losing our mutual friends. ah why am i feeling guilty?

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

In the other thread you go on quite abit about her playing games and messing with your mind and such, aren't you doing the very same thing? Just a thought.

 

[SackOfAllTrades]

Don't worry, I'll get those games from her brother.

 

[GreenBeret]

You might feel guilty because you lied.

Why don't you just tell her you need some time to yourself? I never understood why people don't just tell each other what's up?

 

[Moonbeam]

GreenB, maybe we should change our handles to Dr. Laura

 

[RSM]

Hoeboy-
I'm with ya brother.Take it from someone who felt the same but was engaged to the person.Standing up for yourself and maintaining your dignity and self respect will be the hardest and greatest thing you ever do.The feeling of pride and confidence will do wonders for the healing,as i found out the hard way.Don't avoid her.If you hide from her in public and can't even answer your own phone then she is still running your life.Next time she calls or you see her tell her flat out,you jerked me around,you screwed with my feelings.I don't want that type of a woman as a friend,partner or anything else.Get lost.Don't bring up all the pain etc.It's not relevent and will just turn into a ugly scene.If your so called mutual friends are lost because of you showing some spine,then they weren't "mutual" at all.Real friends don't pick sides.If they do better that they leave now then when you really are counting on them.
Unfortunately you will have to prepare for the 99% probability when you deal with type of dysfunction.You will then become the object of her fascination.You have gone from the person at her beck and call vying for her affection to the unatainable vision of male strength.
Irresistable conquest for almost every insecure woman wanting to boost thier self esteem.DO NOT FALL FOR IT!Tempting as it may be,as soon as you become available again she will lose interest and drop you a second time leaving you with a much worse feeling of humiliation to go with the sense of loss.Chicks like that are vampires,thier only interested in victims.So take a deep breath read a book on zen or something,and find something fun to occupy yourself with.A few weeks down the road it's amazing how ugly they are when your looking at 'em in the rear view.

 

[Hoeboy]

i never intended for this to become a game in the first place and i really honestly do feel i need some time alone. i talked to her best friend for a good 2 hr on the phone tonight, avoiding anything dealing with her. but of course it's going to be so obvious now that i'm avoiding her cuz i'm talkin to her best friend and not her.

although i know the best thing to do is confront the situation dead on, i can't do that. no guts at all. i'm gonna tell her best friend tomorrow i'm taking my final week of winter break out of town. eventually her best friend will tell her and that way, no one thinks i'm avoiding them. unless they catch me in town and if that happens, then i definately believe in God and he hates me.

 

[Angrymarshmello]

The truth always comes out. Why not tell her how you feel so she can stop harassing you?

 

[MrCraphead]

If you still wanna be friends with her, or think there's soemthing to be salvaged, then try and set aside some time and sit down to talk with her about it. Tell her how she made you feel, what sort of evil games she was playing, etc. Perhaps she'll apologize wholeheartedly for it and then you can decide wheter to accept her apology or just give her the backhand and walk away.

Of course, if you don't wanna be friends with her, then just go ahead and give her the backhand.

 

[Zenmervolt]

Friction can only be worn by persistance. Avoiding the situation solves nothing, at least when it is done deceptively. Either call her, or answer one of her calls, and tell her that you do not feel that the two of you should speak with each other for a few days. Tell her that you need some time to yourself to sort through a difficult situation, and leave things at that. If she presses more, repeat yourself and end the conversation quickly but politely. That way you avoid telling her that she is the one causing the "difficult situation" and you don't have to go hiding in bushes to keep from being seen around town.

Zenmervolt