Am I in a unique predicament with my girlfriend? (no pics)

[SaltBoy]

The relationship between my girlfriend and me is great -- absolutely fantastic. If things keep on going the way they're going, I'm probably going to ask her to marry me in about three months or so. Too bad for you guys that I found her first... she's a comp geeks' dream!

Anyway, on to my predicament. Naturally, I'd like to spend all of my free time with her, to build up our relationship and so forth. However, she seems to be one that wants a lot more of her free time to herself, but the stuff she does when she's not with me is (IMHO) a waste of time. Right now, the only time she wants to see me is weekends. Lucky for me, I persuaded her to go out with me last night, but I think mid-week dates are the exception, not the norm.

I've known plenty of girls that complain their boyfriends don't spend a lot of time with them. In my case, it's the opposite -- she doesn't spend enough time with me. I'm not wondering if she loves me or not -- I pretty much know she does, but I wonder why she's like that. Anybody know? Am I too clingy?

 

[Ns1]

give her room buddy!~


go spend itme with your other friends, don't neglect them ^_^


unless you have no other friends....in which case go buy a fish

 

[BD2003]

What does she do when shes not with you thats a waste of time?

Maybe because of the fact that what she likes to do, you consider a waste of time, she doesnt want to do it with you?

 

[StageLeft]

You got it made. In your time go play vid games and drink with friends.

BTW, pics?

 

[Elita1]

It is really difficult to say!
You know her best, hopefully, and with open/honest communication I'm sure you can figure things out. Some people may just need a bit more independence from their partners and others just can't spend a minute without wanting to see eachother.
Everyone's different.

 

[Mookow]

Some people just dont need the companionship of others as much as other people. I am fine with seeing my g/f on weekends only. Assured play on the weekends. Anyway, she might have a more "loner" personality. If so, I hope you two are compatible.

 

[Geekbabe]

The fact that you consider the rest of her life "a waste of time" because it doesn't revolve around you bespeaks trouble ahead. You might really want to sit down and examine that attitude before considering marriage.

 

[Rent]

<< The fact that you consider the rest of her life "a waste of time" because it doedn't revolve around you bespeaks trouble ahead. You might really want to sit down and examine that attitude. >>



I was thinking the same thing...

 

[fjorner]

<< but the stuff she does when she's not with me is (IMHO) a waste of time. >>



Read what you wrote.

When my wife does scrapbooking, closet reorganizing, recipe book reading, dancing with the girls on Retro Night, I could look at it as a waste of time. Or I could look at it as what she likes to do with her 'down' time. Think of the stuff that you do that she doesn't share in.

You're going to have to take that next step in regards to maturity, selflessness, and love if you're ever going to share a bunk with this gal. Respect what she does, and even if you don't like it, at the very least let her have those things she wants to do. At best, join her and grow to like what she does. You'd expect her to do the same, right?

 

[bellycows]

What the hell is she doing when she is not spending time with you?

$5 says she is cheating on you.

I would never let a girlfriend out of my sight.

You have trouble my friend and you don't even know it.

 

[busmaster11]

<< The relationship between my girlfriend and me is great -- absolutely fantastic. If things keep on going the way they're going, I'm probably going to ask her to marry me in about three months or so. Too bad for you guys that I found her first... she's a comp geeks' dream!

Anyway, on to my predicament. Naturally, I'd like to spend all of my free time with her, to build up our relationship and so forth. However, she seems to be one that wants a lot more of her free time to herself, but the stuff she does when she's not with me is (IMHO) a waste of time. Right now, the only time she wants to see me is weekends. Lucky for me, I persuaded her to go out with me last night, but I think mid-week dates are the exception, not the norm.

I've known plenty of girls that complain their boyfriends don't spend a lot of time with them. In my case, it's the opposite -- she doesn't spend enough time with me. I'm not wondering if she loves me or not -- I pretty much know she does, but I wonder why she's like that. Anybody know? Am I too clingy? >>



Maybe she's got ambition. Or maybe you don't have enough. Don't worry, I wonder that about myself.

Don't expect her to cook clean and have babies...

 

[SaltBoy]

<< What does she do when shes not with you thats a waste of time?
Maybe because of the fact that what she likes to do, you consider a waste of time, she doesnt want to do it with you? >>



She spends a great deal of her time with her trailer trash brother and sister-in-law. Oh, and she spends time trying to fix her computer without my help. Sometimes, she's successful, but other times, she definitely needs my help and refuses to ask for it. I guess the term "waste of time" was inappropriate. It's probably not a waste of time -- I just would like to think the time she spends with me is more valuable.

Oh, maybe I'm just overreacting. Love is a wonderful thing, but it can sure mess with your head!

 

[StageLeft]

<< What the hell is she doing when she is not spending time with you?

$5 says she is cheating on you.

I would never let a girlfriend out of my sight.

You have trouble my friend and you don't even know it. >>

Looks like the board has a new stalker/possessive boyfriend character!

 

[Adul]

<< What the hell is she doing when she is not spending time with you?

$5 says she is cheating on you.

I would never let a girlfriend out of my sight.

You have trouble my friend and you don't even know it. >>




Someone sounds insecure.

 

[Geekbabe]

<<

<< What does she do when shes not with you thats a waste of time?
Maybe because of the fact that what she likes to do, you consider a waste of time, she doesnt want to do it with you? >>



She spends a great deal of her time with her trailer trash brother and sister-in-law. Oh, and she spends time trying to fix her computer without my help. Sometimes, she's successful, but other times, she definitely needs my help and refuses to ask for it. I guess the term "waste of time" was inappropriate. It's probably not a waste of time -- I just would like to think the time she spends with me is more valuable.

Oh, maybe I'm just overreacting. Love is a wonderful thing, but it can sure mess with your head! >>



That "trailer trash" is her brother and since you obviously don't care for him, it sounds like she's being considerate in not
shoving him down your throat.As to the computer stuff, when I first started I was the same way.. I wouldn't have learned anything if I'd just let a guy step in and "fix" it for me.

 

[SaltBoy]

<< What the hell is she doing when she is not spending time with you?
$5 says she is cheating on you.
I would never let a girlfriend out of my sight.
You have trouble my friend and you don't even know it. >>



Nah, she's not the cheating type. We're both very religious and wouldn't be caught dead cheating on each other.

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

<< She spends a great deal of her time with her trailer trash brother and sister-in-law. >>

Well, you should think about this longer and harder, obviously she enjoys their company and there might be problems for you as a couple in the future if it's a long one.

<< Oh, and she spends time trying to fix her computer without my help. >>

Great way to learn, by doing it yourself, I wouldn't hold this against anyone.

 

[BD2003]

Its not her problem, its yours. Don't take it personally that she wants to do other things than be with you. It should only make the time you do spend together better, instead of worse.

Focus on being happy to see her again, not being unhappy cause you cant see her.

And if she wants to fix her own computer, let her! If I had a dollar for every person that would rather fix their own computer than have me do it for them....

 

[Pepsei]

don't be too possessive... you'll end up loosing the bird....

what does she like to do without you?

it's the same as you're entitled to do things without her.

 

[Pepsei]

<< What the hell is she doing when she is not spending time with you?

$5 says she is cheating on you.

I would never let a girlfriend out of my sight.

You have trouble my friend and you don't even know it. >>



dude you forgot to put at the end...he might take it serious

 

[911paramedic]

You are doomed already.

If he doesn't lose the $5 now, he will soon if he keeps it up.

 

[baisezmoi]

<< give her room buddy!~ >>

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

I don't see why this is such a great relationship...

you don't respect her very much,
you don't like her family,
and she doesn't want you around very much.


Sorry to be so blunt, but I think its for the best.

 

[ATLien247]

Enjoy it while you still can, SaltBoy.

Once you're married, you can only hope she doesn't change one bit. Otherwise, she'll want to know where you're at, what you're doing, and with whom... 24-7!

 

[SaltBoy]

<< I don't see why this is such a great relationship...

you don't respect her very much,
you don't like her family,
and she doesn't want you around very much.

Sorry to be so blunt, but I think its for the best. >>



Well, I know that at least right now it's a great relationship, but my anxiety about the future prompted me to ask this question. I think it can still be a great relationship, but y'all have definitely have given me some things to think about and talk about with her. I probably am being clingy. I probably need to do some changing. But I remain very optimistic for the future. And of course, it's better to change NOW than later, eh?

But that's why I'm ask y'all these questions -- I don't have all the answers. She doesn't have all the answers, either. Heck, nobody has all the answers. However, I think a non-biased source of information -- people like yourself who have already gone through the same experiences I am facing right now -- is better than nothing. It's very much appreciated!

And don't apologize about being blunt -- that's what I expect from you good people!