Am I being unreasonable?

[Smoblikat]

OK, so I carpool with 2 of my friends to work everyday. Total mileage a day is 35 just to go to and from work, during the non-winter months I travel an additional 10 miles or so to bring me and one friend to lunch. I have been doing this for free for months now. I got my friend a job where I work, and I let him live in my apartment until he got on his feet, he moved just down the street from me and he just leaves his truck at my house and I drive into work. This monday I asked him to start giving me 20$ a week for gas money, he agreed but didnt seem too happy about it. Today I asked him if he had the money, he said he didnt want to pay and that he is willing to give me $15. I told him thats not what we agreed on, and he said "Well I thought about it". On average my car technically gets about 19mpg, but it takes 93 octane and it has a turbo......which I use frequently. So my MPG is more in the 15 ballpark, I put about $60 a week in my tank, I told him that he will no longer be riding in with me and he got pissed. I also recently spent $500 on tires and about a grand to put a new clutch in my car, its a fairly nice car (WRX) so maintenance costs and general upkeep is expensive. He has been my friend for almost a decade now, am I being unreasonable in asking him to give me $20 a week? He wants me to keep bringing him in for free, but his compromise was he will give me $15 a week, the dollar amount isnt really whats bothering me, its how rude he was when he told me he was going back on his word. What would you guys do?

 

[T9D]

I swear we just had this exact topic with someone else. I'm having dejavu.

 

[Smoblikat]

I swear we just had this exact topic with someone else.

Hmm, not that it impacts my specific situation, but what was the outcome? Do you happen to have a link to the thread?

 

[Markbnj]

This is what happens when you feed a stray.

 

[Remobz]

OK, so I carpool with 2 of my friends to work everyday. Total mileage a day is 35 just to go to and from work, during the non-winter months I travel an additional 10 miles or so to bring me and one friend to lunch. I have been doing this for free for months now. I got my friend a job where I work, and I let him live in my apartment until he got on his feet, he moved just down the street from me and he just leaves his truck at my house and I drive into work. This monday I asked him to start giving me 20$ a week for gas money, he agreed but didnt seem too happy about it. Today I asked him if he had the money, he said he didnt want to pay and that he is willing to give me $15. I told him thats not what we agreed on, and he said "Well I thought about it". On average my car technically gets about 19mpg, but it takes 93 octane and it has a turbo......which I use frequently. So my MPG is more in the 15 ballpark, I put about $60 a week in my tank, I told him that he will no longer be riding in with me and he got pissed. I also recently spent $500 on tires and about a grand to put a new clutch in my car, its a fairly nice car (WRX) so maintenance costs and general upkeep is expensive. He has been my friend for almost a decade now, am I being unreasonable in asking him to give me $20 a week? He wants me to keep bringing him in for free, but his compromise was he will give me $15 a week, the dollar amount isnt really whats bothering me, its how rude he was when he told me he was going back on his word. What would you guys do?

I don't think your friendship might last. However, is that a bad thing?

Your friend should never of done what he did considering all the help you gave him in the past. Did your friend treat you to meals during the week occasionally? Did he do any other favors or financial help to offset the $20.00?

Basically, would there be any reason for him to feel that $20.00 was a slap in his face considering all the other favors he did for you whether it be financial or not?

 

[Mixolydian]

Am I being unreasonable?

Nope.

 

[Smoblikat]

I don't think your friendship might last. However, is that a bad thing?

Your friend should never of done what he did considering all the help you gave him in the past. Did your friend treat you to meals during the week occasionally? Did he do any other favors or financial help to offset the $20.00?

Basically, would there be any reason for him to feel that $20.00 was a slap in his face considering all the other favors he did for you whether it be financial or not?

None whatsoever, he didnt even thank me for allowing him into my home or for me getting him a job. Before I did all that for him, he was living in his parents basement doing literally nothing. I even drove him to the junkyard last weekend (for free of course, but I was going there anyway) and helped him pull parts for his truck. I think its fair to add that he paid about a third of the expenses while he did live in my house, but I handled all the financials and bills, he just gave me $400 a month cash.

 

[thestrangebrew1]

I don't think so. Dude seems like a dick by not offering you gas money to get to work to begin with. Sounds like he just played you for a few months. Either he ponies up or you start riding with him free of charge for the same amount of time. Then you can be friends again.

 

[MongGrel]

Seeing as he's saving wear and tear on his vehicle also no, not at all.

Tell him you're not a taxi, more or less.

 

[MongGrel]

I don't think so. Dude seems like a dick by not offering you gas money to get to work to begin with. Sounds like he just played you for a few months. Either he ponies up or you start riding with him free of charge for the same amount of time. Then you can be friends again.

This.

 

[Mixolydian]

Tell him you're not a taxi, more or less.

A free taxi, at that.

 

[Smoblikat]

I don't think so. Dude seems like a dick by not offering you gas money to get to work to begin with. Sounds like he just played you for a few months. Either he ponies up or you start riding with him free of charge for the same amount of time. Then you can be friends again.

I can almost guarantee that wont ever happen, I dont want to lose him as a friend because we have been friends for so long, but im not going to bend over and take his sh** just to stay friends with him. At this point it really is his decision to make.

Not that it matters at this point, but I helped him get his license, I drove him to and from the DMV and he used MY car to take his driving test, no thank you of course. I even brought him all around the state to pick out his first car multiple times, without a thank of course. The more I think about it.......the more I realize how badly I was played

 

[Mixolydian]

I can almost guarantee that wont ever happen, I dont want to lose him as a friend because we have been friends for so long, but im not going to bend over and take his sh** just to stay friends with him. At this point it really is his decision to make.

So tell him that.

 

[thestrangebrew1]

I can almost guarantee that wont ever happen, I dont want to lose him as a friend because we have been friends for so long, but im not going to bend over and take his sh** just to stay friends with him. At this point it really is his decision to make.

I would just carry on without him then. We all have a friends who you know is an actual dick, but I think it's a pretty petty thing to lose a decade long friendship over. But put him on rails and let him use his vehicle. Go get a beer with him after work sometime and work it out.

 

[Smoblikat]

So tell him that.

OK, ill call him right now.

EDIT - I called and he answered, I told him I thought he was greedy and he said he would call me back later.

 

[lxskllr]

$20 a week for a chauffeur is a bargain. He's being a dick. I wouldn't make too big a deal of it since you aren't really out much. You're just expending a bit more energy to carry his extra weight. I would file his behavior away, and it would *significantly* affect my future interactions with him, and my inclination to help.

 

[Smoblikat]

I would just carry on without him then. We all have a friends who you know is an actual dick, but I think it's a pretty petty thing to lose a decade long friendship over. But put him on rails and let him use his vehicle. Go get a beer with him after work sometime and work it out.

Id love to, except we are both only 20

I completely agree its petty, and I dont like the thought of the whole situation. But even when he was IN my house, he refused to hang out with me. I truly mean that, I would walk 10 feet from my room to his and ask to hang out, and he would say "No".

 

[Mixolydian]

we are both only 20

srs?

 

[Ns1]

$20 a week for a chauffeur is a bargain. He's being a dick. I wouldn't make too big a deal of it since you aren't really out much. You're just expending a bit more energy to carry his extra weight. I would file his behavior away, and it would *significantly* affect my future interactions with him, and my inclination to help.

all of this.

 

[Smoblikat]

srs?

Ya, I got my first IT job fresh out of high school at 18, and I was recently in a position to bring him on board because I knew he was skilled enough to work with me.

 

[thestrangebrew1]

OK, ill call him right now.

EDIT - I called and he answered, I told him I thought he was greedy and he said he would call me back later.

Not talking shit OP, but this sounds like it's going to turn into some pre-teen dramafest. lol

 

[Smoblikat]

Not talking shit OP, but this sounds like it's going to turn into some pre-teen dramafest. lol

No no no, that was an over-simplification of events. I didnt literally pick up the phone and tell him hes greedy, those were the cliffs.

 

[thestrangebrew1]

Id love to, except we are both only 20

I completely agree its petty, and I dont like the thought of the whole situation. But even when he was IN my house, he refused to hang out with me. I truly mean that, I would walk 10 feet from my room to his and ask to hang out, and he would say "No".

See previous post. Forget this guy man. Dick all the way around.

 

[Lonyo]

Um, why not suggest you alternate who drives? He has his own vehicle, get him to drive every other day. Then he will also see how much the fuel costs.

 

[Smoblikat]

Um, why not suggest you alternate who drives? He has his own vehicle, get him to drive every other day. Then he will also see how much the fuel costs.

Thats a good idea, except 1.) I love driving my car

But mostly, I dont think its the money at this point thats bothering me so much, its how easily and rudely he went back on his word.