- Nov 19, 2001
- 27,727
- 16
- 81
This is deadly serious, so don't ignore it. Several new viruses have been
discovered and are wreaking havoc throughout the national system. Beware
of...
1. THE ALGORE Virus.... (Causes your computer to just keep counting and
counting)
2. THE CLINTON Virus.... (Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory)
3. THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus... (Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy)
4. THE LEWINSKY virus... (Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then Emails
everyone about what it did)
5. THE RONALD REAGAN virus.... (Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored)
6. THE MIKE TYSON virus.... (Quits after two bytes)
7. THE OPRAH WINFREY virus.... (Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb, then
slowly expands to restabilize around 200mb)
8. THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus... (Deletes all old files)
9. THE ELLEN DEGENERES virus... (Disks can no longer be inserted)
10. THE PROZAC virus... (Totally screws up your RAM, but your Processor doesn't care)
11. THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus... (Only attacks minor files)
12. THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus... (Terminates some files, leaves, but
will be back)
and my personal favorite...
13. THE LORENA BOBBITT virus... (Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch
floppy, then discards it through Windows
discovered and are wreaking havoc throughout the national system. Beware
of...
1. THE ALGORE Virus.... (Causes your computer to just keep counting and
counting)
2. THE CLINTON Virus.... (Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory)
3. THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus... (Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy)
4. THE LEWINSKY virus... (Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then Emails
everyone about what it did)
5. THE RONALD REAGAN virus.... (Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored)
6. THE MIKE TYSON virus.... (Quits after two bytes)
7. THE OPRAH WINFREY virus.... (Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb, then
slowly expands to restabilize around 200mb)
8. THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus... (Deletes all old files)
9. THE ELLEN DEGENERES virus... (Disks can no longer be inserted)
10. THE PROZAC virus... (Totally screws up your RAM, but your Processor doesn't care)
11. THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus... (Only attacks minor files)
12. THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus... (Terminates some files, leaves, but
will be back)
and my personal favorite...
13. THE LORENA BOBBITT virus... (Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch
floppy, then discards it through Windows
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