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AHHH Brothers! (The gauntlet has been picked up by Brutuskend, let the joke off begin!)

A redneck walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Budweiser and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The redneck replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin, and I'm in Texas. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each o'my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The redneck becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The redneck looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers though."
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go for it
 
An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a pub and each order a pint of Guiness.

The barkeep serves each man his pint and, in an astounding stroke of coincidence, each notices a fly floating in the head of his beer.

The Englishman pushes the pint away, motions to the barkeep and asks for a fresh pint.

The Scotsman shrugs, picks the fly out and proceeds to drink his pint.

The Irishman, who is staring intently at his beer, carefully picks the fly out of his beer and addresses the offending insect:

"Spit it out, ya wee fook!!! Spit out me fookin' Guinness!! It's mine!!! All mine, and I'll not be sharing wit' a six-legged git such as you!!'

😀
 
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