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Ah...helpless feeling...

johnjohn320

johnjohn320

Diamond Member
This sucks...my gf just called nearly in tears (we were supposed to get together tonight)...her grandmother started choking to death on some food in front of her (and the rest of the family), they took her to the hospital.

I hate this feeling of complete helplessness, you know? There's no point in me going over to the hospital, that would be intrusive to her family and I don't want to be in their hair. There's nothing I can do, obviously. I'm just sitting here, worrying, twiddling my thumbs and waiting for an update, hoping everything's ok. I really have no idea to what extent this is-for all I know they'll pat her on the back and send her home tonight, but maybe it's much worse. All I know is my gf is quite upset, and there's nothing I can do to help her. I made a pathetic attempt at reassuring, asking if there was anything I could do to help (of course there isn't)....bah. I need to pass the time somehow.

For the record, I barely know her grandmother, I didnt meet her until Christmas eve. I'm just really concerned for the whole family right now-I don't know what's going on, I'm confused...

edit-I think the thing that's really concerning me is just how upset my gf sounded, I dont know the full extent of what's happening, all I know is my gf is scared and upset and there's nothing I can do...

UPDATE-She just called back-she didn't make it. 🙁 She seems upset but handling it ok. I'm gonna go see what I can do.
 
Originally posted by: TwinkleToes77
Originally posted by: caitlion
i dont think it would be intrusive to go comfort your gf
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agreed.
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I asked her if she wanted me to come by, she said no, after everything calmed down she'd give me a call or something. Sounds like I'd just be adding to the chaos right now, IMO. For that matter, I dont know what hospital they're at.
 
I'd feel the sense of urgency you're portraying if her grandmother had passed away... but fortunately that didn't happen. Relax a bit.
 
My brother has some sort of shelf in his throat that causes food to get lodged. He's choked often, and it's frightening. He has opted not to get the surgery to remove the shelf.

Hope everything turns out ok.
 
Originally posted by: rh71
I'd feel the sense of urgency you're portraying if her grandmother had passed away... but fortunately that didn't happen. Relax a bit.
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For all I know she has, they rushed her to the hospital dude. She's like in her mid-90s. I have no idea what the extent of the situation is at this point.
 
Well, after several phone calls she made to me spaced out over the past few hours, it sounds like she's hurting (obviously) but doing ok. It's been a rough day for her family. I just have that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach-I know there's nothing I can do, but someone I care about a lot is in pain this evening. 🙁 I feel awful.

At this point, I'm just making abundantly clear that I'm here for her. Right now she's spending time with the family, they're putting together a funeral, etc, they've asked me to play piano for the services actually. Other than that, I'm still just helpless. 🙁 I just wish there was something I could do.
 
"edit-I think the thing that's really concerning me is just how upset my gf sounded, I dont know the full extent of what's happening, all I know is my gf is scared and upset and there's nothing I can do..."

Johnjohn320, I'm not sure I know how to respond to your post. There is no particular question, concern or . . . I don't know. 😕 You aren't very close to her grandparents either. You have done your part, which is to console her. Everything will be fine soon. It's okay for her to feel upset, helpless, etc. It's part of life and avoiding it is denial.

Good luck!
 
Originally posted by: luvly
"edit-I think the thing that's really concerning me is just how upset my gf sounded, I dont know the full extent of what's happening, all I know is my gf is scared and upset and there's nothing I can do..."

Johnjohn320, I'm not sure I know how to respond to your post. There is no particular question, concern or . . . I don't know. 😕 You aren't very close to her grandparents either. You have done your part, which is to console her. Everything will be fine soon. It's okay for her to feel upset, helpless, etc. It's part of life and avoiding it is denial.

Good luck!
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Well duh, it's natural. I'm not really asking a question here...I just feel bad cause I'm in that position of "she's hurting and there's nothing I can do to help."
 
Just be there for her when she comes to you. Your job now is to be strong if she can't be and to make sure she knows that everything will be all right.
 
I'm sorry to hear that she didn't make it. Just be there for the family. Give them space if they need it, an ear to listen if they want to talk, and a shoulder to cry on so they don't have to stand alone.
 
Originally posted by: Azraele
I'm sorry to hear that she didn't make it. Just be there for the family. Give them space if they need it, an ear to listen if they want to talk, and a shoulder to cry on so they don't have to stand alone.
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Yeah, I basically told her I'm here whenever she needs me. I think right now her family is just leaning on each other for support, they're the most important people right now. She called me late last night for someone to talk to, so I guess she understands that I'm there. I guess I'm doing all I can do.
 
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