Advice for Son/Daughter On Removing Internet Content?

[Krazy4Real]

son/daughter? is he/she a tranny?

That's exactly what I think.

 

[preslove]

So, does a google search of their full name bring it up on the first page? Is it an uncommon name?

 

[diesbudt]

I am pretty sure some of my remarks have never been found I have done on the internet...

How bad were these things posted?

 

[jaedaliu]

NPR just did a news story about some guy that shared the name with a drug dealer and couldn't get jobs because of it. So he founded a company to fix issues like that (his was accidental, guess there's some type of difference) When NPR looked into the story, they found out the whole thing was a hoax. The guy made up a compelling back story for people to take his company seriously.

Anyways, youthful indiscretion can be used as an excuse. People grow. (unless the youthful indisecretion posts happened 3 months ago)

 

[Zeze]

Is this real life?

 

[alangrift]

Doesn't you son/daughter have access to those accounts? On forums they could just delete all the content they wrote. Most have a delete button next to posts.

 

[tynopik]

legally change their name to john/jane smith

problem solved

 

[TheFamilyMan]

How about not doing anything and letting the S/D learn that they bear responsibility for their actions no matter how dumb those actions may have been? Yes, they were young but I bet you a large sum of money they knew exactly what they were doing, that they knew the information put on the 'net is there forever, and they thought they were invincible to repurcussions because it was teh interwebz.

If the S/D want the stuff removed/taken down/deleted/etc, let them go through the gyrations of trying to figure out who to contact, how to contact, etc?

You're going to find out that after you clean this mess up for them, there will just be another mess that pops up for you to clean up. Stop the cycle now...just stop it.

 

[JTsyo]

Get your daughter married before she looks for a job.

 

[alangrift]

Get your daughter married before she looks for a job.

But what if s/he is a son?

 

[Sonikku]

Growing up, my son/daughter was very outspoken and opinionated. Luckily, though, his/her worldview now is much more nuanced and balanced.

Yet, as a teenager, he/she made several posts (without my knowledge or approval) to the Internet--articles, book reviews, comments, etc. To me, some of the posts seem dogmatic and even inflammatory, which S/D now realizes. There are roughly a dozen or so posts, and his/her uncommon name is linked to them.

S/D is now a young adult who will soon finish his/her post-secondary education and look for work. He/she worries that the Web postings could affect his/her employment prospects and personal life.

We were able to call some of the webmasters and get roughly 20% of the content removed. The remaining sites have no phone numbers (and sometimes no email) listed.

For the ones with emails, how would you phrase the email message to the webmasters. Since the ball is in the webmaster's court, I advised S/D to be polite, state that it was a youthful indiscretion made as a minor, kindly request a removal, and thank the webmaster for the consideration. Is there anything else that you recommend saying or doing?


For the sites without emails or any other contact information, how should we proceed?

Also, what if the webmaster(s) either doesn't respond or outright refuses? What can we do then?

Should we persist? Should we offer to purchase the content, or even try to backorder the domain name when it expires? S/D's best friend jokingly suggested hacking into the site, but I think that could create even more problems.

There is some positive content (scholarships, volunteer projects, achievements, etc) about S/D on the Web. I just worry what impact everything else would have on him/her.

I'll post what I want, when I want and there's nothing you can do about it dad.

 

[T_Yamamoto]

This is such a stupid thread. How about you stop being a helicopter parent. She's a fucking young adult for crying out loud. She must hate you.

 

[T_Yamamoto]

I don't think the shit I post here would come back to bit my ass one day /knock on wood

 

[alangrift]

I'll post what I want, when I want and there's nothing you can do about it dad.

So can you clear up whether its a son or daughter?

 

[Baked]

I didn't know you can perform transgender operation on minors. What country are you from?

 

[radtechtips]

I didn't know you can perform transgender operation on minors. What country are you from?

Maybe he is a doctor...

 

[darkewaffle]

Dogmatic and inflammatory? Golly Huckleberry, that ain't nothing you can't smooth over with a root beer float and a raft ride down the Lazy River!

Seriously nobody cares what your stupid ass kid said on the internet when heshe was an even stupider ass kid. Do you have any idea how many times people get called "******" on the internet every minute?

And even if someone does, you know what heshe is supposed to say? "I was a dumbass kid and I'm not proud of that, but putting myself out there like that really shifted my perspective and taught me to be more accountable for my words and actions."

Getting it deleted isn't teaching himher anything except that you can pretend mistakes don't happen. Mistakes do happen and being able to own [up to] them and learn from them is an infinitely more valuable trait than being able to use whiteout.

 

[Murloc]

I didn't know you can perform transgender operation on minors. What country are you from?

actually it's performed on babies or small children with undefined sex.
I read on an article that in Italy they did it like 500 times in the last 20 years.

 

[tsellis]

I don't usually solve my children's problems--especially now as they get older.

Yet, on the rare occasions when they feel stuck, I would rather them come to me first before going to anyone else. I've seen many young people get led astray or taken advantage of, and it's often because they don't have adults in their lives in whom they confide and obtain counsel.

There is nothing wrong with asking parents for help/advice, as long as it's not a habit.


.

 

[alangrift]

actually it's performed on babies or small children with undefined sex.
I read on an article that in Italy they did it like 500 times in the last 20 years.

I didn't know that undefined sex was such a big thing, I thought it was rare...

 

[sixone]

I don't usually solve my children's problems--especially as they get older.

Yet, on the rare occasions when they feel stuck or don't know what to do, I would rather them come to me first before going to anyone else. I've seen many young people get deceived and taken advantage of, and it's often because they don't have adults in their lives in whom they confide and seek advice.

There is nothing wrong with asking parents for advice/assistance, as long as it's not a habit.

You sound like a good dad. Kudos to you, and good luck getting the stuff taken down. I wish I could offer you some useful advice, but it sounds like you've done all you could.

 

[AreaCode707]

Sounds like son was into neo-nazi sites.

It's not that I don't believe people can change but a radical perspective/politeness shift at the point of job-hunting strikes me as a little too convenient. Making up for prior life mistakes involves a lot more than just deleting the evidence on line. Sounds like your little it maybe earned the difficulty its made for itself in life.

 

[JTsyo]

But what if s/he is a son?

then the OP wouldn't have used he/she
Just trying to get free advice without providing pics

 

[Puppies04]

Unless your son/daughter is called something like yabalowohage huckleberry III junior McTavish how is any prospective employer going to link these supposed posts to them? I would imagine there are 100's of people with the same name and even if there isn't why can't they log into the account and change their details.

 

[CPA]

My 16-year old son and I were playing TF2 together. Our computer desks are right next to each other. He gets killed by some other player and Type All's "Fuck You".

I have no idea what's running through this kid's head. I would have never, and still don't, swore in front of my father. As you can imagine that didn't sit well with me.