ACTUAL POLICE QUOTES

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"In God we trust, all others are suspects."

"Do not take my kindness as a sign of weakness"




 

AdamDuritz99

Diamond Member
Mar 26, 2000
3,233
0
71
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

Those are my favorites.

peace
sean
 

Grey

Platinum Member
Oct 14, 1999
2,737
2
81
Doh!


<< |
"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
>>

 

Static911

Diamond Member
Nov 24, 2000
4,338
1
0
The best one:

"Do not take my kindness as a sign of weakness"

Saw that on COPS

Best quote!

static911
 

trmiv

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
14,670
18
81
"Hey, what's another $3000 on my charge card?"-My friend who's a cop and has really poor money management skills
 

Scootin159

Diamond Member
Apr 17, 2001
3,650
0
76
"How the F@#% did you get that Piece of S#!T car going that fast!?!?!? Your parents will be glad to hear the car they bought you will go 95 in a 15!"

(He didn't give me a ticket, but did tell my parents, who weren't impressed)
 

Jfur

Diamond Member
Jul 9, 2001
6,044
0
0
"Are you wearing any underwear?" -- LAPD officer in Pacific Palisades, California :|
 

Looney

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
21,938
5
0
"Are you wearing any underwear?" -- LAPD officer in Pacific Palisades, California

OMG that's LOLOLOLOLOL

EDIT: so were you? :p
 

LordMaul

Lifer
Nov 16, 2000
15,168
1
0


<< "Are you wearing any underwear?" -- LAPD officer in Pacific Palisades, California

OMG that's LOLOLOLOLOL

EDIT: so were you? :p
>>



:Q hehehehe
 

Phuz

Diamond Member
Jul 15, 2000
4,349
0
0
"Hey kid, next time try to keep it between the fence posts."

(OPP said to my freind as his car was getting towed out of a nice little smash up.. I was the passenger)

edit: it was a fence post we smashed, btw. ;)
 

Jfur

Diamond Member
Jul 9, 2001
6,044
0
0


<< "Are you wearing any underwear?" -- LAPD officer in Pacific Palisades, California

OMG that's LOLOLOLOLOL

EDIT: so were you? :p
>>



Actually, for a 16 year old girl walking alone and confronted by two policemen, it was rather worrisome. I managed to walk away and they tailed me (driving slowly behind me for two blocks) until I got to Osco Pharmacy, where I hid for over an hour while they cruised the parking lot.

As for what I was wearing under my clothes, it was really none of their business (or yours :p)
 

cressida

Platinum Member
Sep 10, 2000
2,840
5
81
My friend was picking up his girlfriend from another high school.


Cop: Do you know how fast you were going?
Friend: I don't know
Cop: 25 in a 20 (school zone)
Cop: What are you doing here?
Friend: going to pick up my girlfriend
Cop: Do her parents know you are dating her? :|
 

Looney

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
21,938
5
0
Actually, for a 16 year old girl walking alone and confronted by two policemen, it was rather worrisome. I managed to walk away and they tailed me (driving slowly behind me for two blocks) until I got to Osco Pharmacy, where I hid for over an hour while they cruised the parking lot.

Oh ok, that would be kinda freaky. For some reason i thought this was a recent occurance or something :eek:

 

Scootin159

Diamond Member
Apr 17, 2001
3,650
0
76


<<

<< "Are you wearing any underwear?" -- LAPD officer in Pacific Palisades, California

OMG that's LOLOLOLOLOL

EDIT: so were you? :p
>>



Actually, for a 16 year old girl walking alone and confronted by two policemen, it was rather worrisome. I managed to walk away and they tailed me (driving slowly behind me for two blocks) until I got to Osco Pharmacy, where I hid for over an hour while they cruised the parking lot.

As for what I was wearing under my clothes, it was really none of their business (or yours :p)
>>



Why were they tailing you?
 

Sir Fredrick

Guest
Oct 14, 1999
4,375
0
0


<< Actually, for a 16 year old girl walking alone and confronted by two policemen, it was rather worrisome. I managed to walk away and they tailed me (driving slowly behind me for two blocks) until I got to Osco Pharmacy, where I hid for over an hour while they cruised the parking lot.

As for what I was wearing under my clothes, it was really none of their business (or yours :p)
>>



That's awful. What do you do when the people who are supposed to protect you are just as bad as (or worse than) everyone else?
 

Noriaki

Lifer
Jun 3, 2000
13,640
1
71


<<

<< "Are you wearing any underwear?" -- LAPD officer in Pacific Palisades, California

OMG that's LOLOLOLOLOL

EDIT: so were you? :p
>>



Actually, for a 16 year old girl walking alone and confronted by two policemen, it was rather worrisome. I managed to walk away and they tailed me (driving slowly behind me for two blocks) until I got to Osco Pharmacy, where I hid for over an hour while they cruised the parking lot.

As for what I was wearing under my clothes, it was really none of their business (or yours :p)
>>

Ack...I can see how that would be worrisome..espeically in california...never know which cops are going to be the bad ones....

(Please note, in general I have respect for the law and it's officers, but there are bad cops out there...and as with most other people, the bad ones seem to concentrate in California...no offense to Californians, I'm just thinking of LA here)
 

Looney

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
21,938
5
0
Why were they tailing you?

I think that's the problem... who knows why, probably wasn't for concern over her though.