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Aaah!

"Children's thoughts on the sea


1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls.
(James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don't
have sea all round you, you are incontinent.
(Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend no more.
(Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.
(Billy age 8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with
crabs.
(Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross
the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would
whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off
eating beans.
(William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny
tails. And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really?
(Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my
big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels
can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea
where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes
my willy small.
(Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers
can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky age 8)

13) On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was
going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water
fired right up her fat ass.
(Jule age 7)" 🙂
 
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water
down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone
else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using
the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use
a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll
be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't
move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the
duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.


REMEMBER:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKYS. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY
BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS.
 
Originally posted by: Foxery
I just did that, too. I realized my leftovers are in the fridge back at the office.
Click to expand...

I did the opposite. My leftovers are in the fridge at the house, and I'm at work.
 
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