A tale of a hell spawned spider

[jmcoreymv]

Much to my demise I spotted a moving black object out of the corner of my eye. The room was dark and it was hard to see, as soon as I turn on the light, i catch a glimpse of a small object move behind my rear speaker hanging on the wall. He pokes out again, and its an inch and a half long spider, scared the sh!t outta me. Anyways, my first tactic of lethal offense was to jam the speaker back against the wall thereby squishing the life out of the spider, didnt work, rims around the speakers prevented the squish. Second tactic, take a can of raid, drench the entire area in its unique liquid, sprayed behind the speaker too, and i thought i got the little spawn from hell, nope. Third tactic, take maglite flashlite and can of compressed air. My thinking on this tactic was to use the air to blow the spider out from behind the speaker and then beat it with 7 pounds of stainless steel. That didnt work, compressed air couldnt get the sucker out. Brilliant idea, i thought to myself, when i came up with the notion of turning the can of compressed air upside down and turning the spider into an spider-popsicle, that didnt work either. Well I had to resort to drastic measures from here on out, and i knew it. There was only one thing that was gonna take this sucker out. I broke out the can of WD40 and a lighter. I was sending this spider right back from where he came from. Held up the lighter to the WD40, and sprayed a hellish flame of fire right into the back of my speaker. I caught the spider on fire, and he dropped to the floor, and ran into my closet, stupid POS!!!! now hes in there somewhere. Not to mention, Ive got a charred speaker and wall. Theres the tale of the hell spawned spider.

 

[noxipoo]

its Saturday night and you are bored sh1tless aren't you

 

[AMDJunkie]

You're nucking futs, did you know that?

 

[MI6]

Why didn't you just leave the spider there?

Boris The Spider by The Who

 

[Killbat]

No way. Kill creepies the Killbat(c) way! Grab 'im out with a looong needle-nosed pliars, drop 'im in a jar, and start adding chemicals!

 

[AMDJunkie]

Yeah, at least Killbat's way dramatically reduces the chance of catching your house on fire.

 

[MI6]

I don't know, have you ever watched Killbat mix chemicals?

 

[Killbat]

"at least Killbat's way dramatically reduces the chance of catching your house on fire."

LOL One of the few Killbat(c) proceedures that don't create a huge risk to person and property.

 

[Xzaver]

Had a dream of someone (I'm not going to mention who ,you actually allready know) turned into a spider and then that spider ran after another spider they both tride to run away and the spider i was following got into a fight with the other spider and i killed the other spider with a joust or some kind of javlen.
It was the weirdest sadest (for reasons i can not explain here) dream i have ever experienced in my entire life.



Regards,
-Xzaver-

PS: To be continued

 

[WombatWoman]

Gee whiz, haven't any of you guys ever read "Charlotte's Web"? Eight legs = good, six legs = bad.

 

[Virgo]

I hate to say this friend,but your in BIG TROUBLE NOW!That spider you let get away is gonna go get some of his big, bad, black, thick bodied buddies and there will be surprise attacks when you least expect it.I wouldn't sleep If I were you!Believe me, I have had it happen to me and they waged war on me for two YEARS.I finally managed to get'em all though,..I think...?

 

[dennilfloss]

Remember The Wrath Of Khan?

"They put things in our ears!!!"



Bedtime Stories (Madonna)

 

[Viperoni]

I just like the charred wall part.
The spider screwed you, and screwed you good