- Jul 7, 2004
- 9,630
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***$50 says half of you have seen this; this isn't for you, asses.***
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was
nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up
prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad."
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read
the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my
new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I have been
finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not
approve of her because of all her piercings, and tatoos, and tight motorcycle
clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the
passion...Dad, she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a
trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share
a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that
marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and
trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In
the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can
get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care
of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to
know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to
remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my
center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was
nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up
prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad."
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read
the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my
new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I have been
finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not
approve of her because of all her piercings, and tatoos, and tight motorcycle
clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the
passion...Dad, she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a
trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share
a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that
marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and
trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In
the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can
get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care
of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to
know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to
remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my
center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.
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