Originally posted by: flxnimprtmscl
1) Solitaire will always jam a big fat cock right up your ass. Always. You're always screwed by that one fvcking card that's at the bottom of one stack that's impossible for you to get to. I'm also pretty sure whoever wrote Solitaire for my iPod has found a way to make it even more evil than the Microsoft version.
2) If the best name you could come up with for yourself, as a musical artist, is "Lil Jon" and the best album name you could come up with is "Crunk Juice (With The Eastside Boyz) then kill yourself. And if you've actually bought this album or knowingly listened to it for more than a minute then kill yourself. And when you're dead, kill yourself again for good measure.
3) If you don't really think there's a difference between were, we're, your, you're, they're, their, there, etc. then you're wasting my fvcking oxygen. Stop it. That little mark that looks like half a parentheses is there for a goddam reason. How are you smart enough to use a computer and you still haven't figured this out? Learn to use this handy little piece of punctuation because it's really helpful to the rest of us while trying to figure out what in the hell you're talking about.
4) If you spell words wrong because you think it looks kool then throw yourself of a bridge. Make sure it's a tall one. No elaboration is needed on this point.
5) If you're so fat that you're as wide as two average people I'd like to make an appointment to cut you in half with a chainsaw. I'm sick to fvcking death of being stuck behind you while you waddle along in the stores. If you're one of the exceptionally rare people who actually had a medical problem that causes this I honestly feel very bad for you and this is in no way directed towards you. However, if you're a big sweat hog just because you can't stop jamming food down your pie hole then I hope you choke to death on your next twinkie.
6) If you watch reality tv..... you are not a smart person. Period.
7) Once you're past the age of 13 you should feel free to stop thinking that it's cool if every other word out of your mouth is a curse word. I'm not sure if you think you sound cool, or if it's just a habit, but in reality you just sound like an ignorant bastard. Also, if you swear that much and still can't manage to swear coherently (i.e. you mix the wrong swear worlds together) then it's even worse.
That's all for now. I might update this later in the evening.
This message paid for and approved by those who are quitting smoking.
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