I have reason to believe that Saddam Hussein is buying a large amount of PSX2s on EB@y, and using them for a massive supercomputer that functions both as a Command and Conquer gaming machine and also a SETI box. He is pulling together all the computing resources he can obtain to quickly rise to the top of the SETI charts before anyone was prepared. His team; 'Team Saddam', contains only 1 member, himself. All who atempt to join his team are silently erased and their machines are taken. In related news, famed gamer 'Thresh' has mysteriously disapeared from his home 2 weeks ago. Could Thresh be aiding Saddam's plans of building the largest gaming and SETI machine? With the current change of US political leadership, this is the oportunity Saddam has been waiting for to rise position in the gaming ladders, take the #1 SETI position, and possibly invade the US. He will most likely first attack small malls and shopping centers, securing such strategic targets as EB World and Best Buy. From this position, he will be well poised to not only take SETI, but possibly even RC5. Without EB World and Best Buy, the rest of the US will surely fall within weeks. Upon taking the White House, the US citizens will be forced into submission, where Saddam will host LAN parties, where every US citizen will be forced to play Quake with a high ping and a 486. It doesn't have to end this way. It is our right as US citizens to be able to play Quake with a low ping, and to process SETI units for the team of our choice. Our forefathers gave their blood for these rights, and I for one will not give up. How can we stop him? First, we must bid up the prices of PSX2s on EB@y to well over the retail price. Now I know most of you will laugh at me, and say nobody is going to pay more then $300 for that piece of crap, but we must to keep it out of enemy hands! (You may be able to deduct it from your taxes as a national security investment) We must all join Team Anandtech for SETI! Only if we unite can we combat his massive SETI machine. Next, we all must practice our gaming skills, we cannot let the holidays distract us from our training! All Best Buys and EB Worlds must be fortified! No more of these teenage game goons at EB World, we need 7-10 well armed personel per store, preferably with automatic weapons, Night Vision, C4, and a controller with rapid fire AND programable buttons. (I can't justify the C4 but C4 is just plain cool) At Best Buy, placing 1 security punk at the door watching TV just won't do. We will need two lines of defense, with land mines and lots of them. Im thinking 20-30 lightly armed personel will suffice. More importantly will be the Anti-Air, im talking laser guided as well as ack-ack, none of that kiddy stuff. This is key so new supplys of PSX2s can be parachuted in without any casualties. Once all Best Buys and EB Worlds are secured, we can focus on a spec ops mission to rescue famed gamer 'Thresh'. Time is of the essence, as he has an important event to atend in very few days; QuakeComdexWorld 2K1 (QCW2K1). Very few know about QCW2K1, as it is being held in secrecy in the northern most regions of Siberia, where only the most Skilled Gamers and Influential Political Leaders are invited. This event is of the utmost importance, as it is rumored that China, Russia, Pakistan and Canada have formed a new clan called 'Uber-L337 Wurld Powerz and Canada' (U7WPC). Every member of U7WPC has at least 12 PSX2 Super Computing Chips on a fully optical AGP 74x bus, a liquid cooled case, a Firewire Razor Boomslanger mouse, and matching mouse pads with their names on them. (I heard that 2 of the members even have a USB webcam and scanner, and that one of them has an overclocked keyboard, but that's just what my friend said. He's cool he's like this old guy I think he's 17 or something, he can drive and and stuff. He's gonna pick me up and take me to Best Buy sometime soon. He's been to jail too because he like completely took down AT&T (cuz we shouldn't have to pay for calls that's our government oppresing us), Microsoft (cuz they suxer!), Sega (cuz Dreamcast is lame), and Petland (so he could get free dog food). He tought me all my hacker tricks and how to take down any company you want. He used this cool program that he wrote called WinNuke. It's sweet it has all kinds of features like downloading credit card databases from websites, and it is a packet sniffer which means I can read everyone in the US and Canada's e-mail and AIMs. Mexico too I think but I don't think they have computers there yet. It's tricky to use though you have to be UBER L337 like us because all the packages you smell are in HACKER code stuff like 45fa639 and stuff 45fa639 means someone is sending an e-mail to their girlfriend so I have it setup to flag those so I can read them! It also can crash your AIM and ICQ and send people millions of e-mails that are impossible to trace! It also lets you play Quake and automatically kill everyone and that's cool cuz it makes you better at the game. It also can open people's CD trays on their computer but I don't know how to do that yet I think you have some SSH Perl UDP DPI module that is decrypted which means nobody can open it except the NSA and my friend. The cool thing about our cool program WinNuke is that in case anyone finds out about it, they won't figure out how to use all these special fatures cuz you have to click a Pi symbol in the bottom right. If you don't click the Pi all it does is have a box and a button that doesn't do anything but people who aren't realy hackers think it does something hah! (my other friend said something like it only works on old operating systems like Windows 94, but he also send something about sending out of bound data or something so I think he's just trying to sound like a leet hacker like me and my friend.) My friend's screen name is 'KevinMitnick' but if you message him he will ignore you unless you know the secret hax0r password is hard cuz it is in analog code like 1110010101001. If you don't know the password he will WINUKE you haha and he knows how to do the cd thingy and he will also flash your keyboard bios with an ANSI stealth syn attack and then you wont be able to use any of the vowel keys! He has all kinds of cool "scripts" like his brute-force-sniffing-exploit-generator, a poly something virus generator which means it makes viruses that your virus scanner wont detect cuz these viruses are poly-uber-generated so they like take over your JPGs and turn them into BMPs! And then you wont have any space on your memory. He also have this virus that sends you an email and it says I Love You so you think it is your AOL girlfriend but instead it installs LINUX on your computer, uses up all your inkjet cartridge by printing LINUX RULEZ in big black letters and a duck cuz a duck means linux, it makes your mouse stop working cuz you are already in LINUX and LINUX doesnt use mice cuz mice are for kiddies, then it sends itself to everyone on your AIM and your email and it also calls your grandma with your modem and tells her you want clothes for your birthday! He tried to send it to me but I use AOL for my e-mail cuz it is protected even from KevinMitnick cuz it has the Norton Attachment IOSTREAM.H module. Sorry I got on a tangent there sometimes 7337 hackers like me slip like after we take down major sites like aol.com and tomshardware.com. Here is how my friend got caught:
<CRY.SYS>Hey HADRIEN guess what I just did?
<HADRIEN>Um.. put a webcam in your sisters bedroom?
<CRY.SYS>No I couldn't figure that out so I took down aol.com and amazon.com
<HADRIEN>I did that before. brb getting some soda.
**MALVOLIS enters the chat.
<MALVOLIS>Sup DUDEZ!?!
<CRY.SYS>sup. Why weren't you in school today?
<MALVOLIS>last ngiht I haxored some college in oxford ohio.
<CRY.SYS>cool. I took down aol and amazon.
<MALVOLIS>cool. this college had like all their students records and stuff on a 20 year old vax system full of exploitable services and stuff. I enrolled myself and gave myself all As except a B in Art cuz I didn't want it to look sketchy. Then I trasfered 20 million bucks from the business school and premeds and gave it to cs, art, and western campus. There was this fat red-headed kid in there who had been a student for like 9 years and owed them like $100,000 so I converted all his debt to meal plan points. I also gave him a degree in business, figured nobody would notice since business degrees might as well be a sheet of toilet paper. Then I told this large computing company that he was this school best business student and that he like had all these sweet ideas and stuff and that they should hire him for like tons of money, like $8 an hour or something.
<CRY.SYS>that's l337 dude!
**ER@SERHE@D enters the chat.
<ER@SERHE@D>SUP DUDEZ
<ER@SERHE@D>SUP DUDEZ
<ER@SERHE@D>SUP DUDEZ
<ER@SERHE@D>SUP DUDEZ
<ER@SERHE@D>SUP DUDEZ
<ER@SERHE@D>SUP DUDEZ
<ER@SERHE@D>SUP DUDEZ
**ER@SERHE@D was kicked from #ELITE-HACKER-DUDEZ (Flood)
<MitnickBOT>WinNuke performed on ER@SERHE@D for FLOOD. You are the 10256 person to face my WRATH!
<HADRIEN>back. damn mitnick's bot is sweet.
<MALVOLIS>yeah he wrote it in Visual Basic. I could have done it but im working on a script that will say SUP DUDEZ 10 times without getting kicked. It's touch but i'm going to use a custom control I got from #somehugeassftp.
<CRY.SYS>yeah that server has everything i hear it is like at NASA or something.
**ER@SERHE@D enters the chat.
<ER@SERHE@D>man phuck that bot.
<ER@SERHE@D>im gonna go cause havoc in #christian
**Hax0rChicky enters the chat.
<Hax0rChicky>SUP DUDEZ?
<CRY.SYS>sup.
<ER@SERHE@D>sup.
<HADRIEN>sup.
**MinickBOT sets mode +o Hax0rChicky
/whois Hax0rChicky
Hax0rChicky chuck@ppp.ny.aol.com * : Hax0rChicky
Hax0rChicky
#ELITE-HACKER-DUDEZ +v#somehugeassftp +v#yankees @#hillaryclinton @#themanshow #teen @#40something
Hax0rChicky nyhackerz.ny.com: Bronyx, New York
Hax0rChicky: 8 seconds idle, logged in at 12/23/2000 5:16:36 AM (GMT)
Hax0rChicky :End of /WHOIS list.
/ctcp Hax0rChicky PING
[Hax0rChicky PING Response]: 379 seconds
/ctcp Hax0rChicky USERINFO
[Hax0rChicky USERINFO Response]: Hi i'm chuck.
/ctcp Hax0rChicky VERSION
[Hax0rChicky VERSION Response]: AOL IRC v1.0
<CRY.SYS>hey hax0rchic are you really a hot 18 year old from LA?
<Hax0rChicky>yeah dude man i showed you my pic!
<HADRIEN>dude man leave her alone i saw her pic shes cool that why she has OPS and we dont.
<CRY.SYS>ok. So don't you guys want to hear more about how I took down aol.com and amazon.com?
**ER@SERHE@D is away. (burning dreamcast games from hugeassftp)
<ER@SERHE@D>brb im burning some games from hugeftp. Man I just got Super Quad Powered Street Fighter McAlpha 7!
<ER@SERHE@D>dude this game is gonna be tight! It's like Super Quad Powered Street Fighter McAlpha 6, but it has a secret new character named Ryu and it you can turn up the speed to 207! It's 12CDs big and the first 11CDs are all full motion video! And you need these new 81 minute CDs that you can only get from like this one computer store in Cleveland. And the best part is it has only been out for like 7 seconds I got it direct from LEET-WAREZ-GROUP. It won't even be at EB World or Best Buy until tomarrow morning!
<HADRIEN>man I want a cable modem so I can download all those leet gamez.
<ER@SERHE@D>my mom said she would take me to the post office if you want and ill mail you some games but they will be like 3 days old by the time you get them.
<HADRIEN>thats cool man. Overnight them so they can sit on my floor for a couple weeks.
**NSA_AGENT_007 joins the chat.
**NSA_AGENT_007 is now known as GLOBALVariable.
<GLOBALVariable>sup dudez?
<GLOBALVariable>sup dudez?
<GLOBALVariable>sup dudez?
<GLOBALVariable>sup dudez?
<GLOBALVariable>sup dudez?
<GLOBALVariable>sup dudez?
<CRY.SYS>heya.
**private message from HADRIEN dude this guy is must be leet he didnt get kicked for saying sup dudez too many times!
<GLOBALVariable>man you guys hear aol and amazon were hacked?
<MALVOLIS>Are you a fed?
<GLOBALVariable>no. im just bored at work.
**GLOBALVariable works at McDonalds.
/whois GLOBALVariable
GLOBALVariable 007@OC96.secret.nsa.gov * : GLOBALVariable
GLOBALVariable :#ELITE-HACKER-DUDEZ @#NSA @#Echlon @#coolfedtricks
GLOBALVariable pentagon.ug.gov: Washington, D.C.
GLOBALVariable: 2 seconds idle, logged in at 3/15/2000 9:07:41 AM (EST)
GLOBALVariable: End of /WHOIS list.
**ER@SERHE@D is back.
<ER@SERHE@D>man that game suxored. Super Quad Powered Street Fighter McAlpha 8 is gonna be so much better. I hear that Capcom, SNK, and Squaresoft are all working together and it will be 20CDs and you can trade your characters on a VMU and it comes with a collector's card.
<HADRIEN>Can they pirate the collector's card?
<ER@SERHE@D>Yeah its sweet dude they make it a PDF then you can print it on your parents printer and it looks the same nobody can tell!
<MALVOLIS>sweet. man i need to get one of those. do they have any palm pilot warez?
<ER@SERHE@D>man pda's are LAME its all about da console gamez dude!
<GLOBALVariable>hey eraser, I have an alpha-beta release of NHL 2007. You want it?
<ER@SERHE@D>Sweet DUDE! Hell ya hook a brotha up!
<GLOBALVariable>yeah its cool it even comes with a pirated hockey stick controller.
<ER@SERHE@D>sweet how do you get that to work do you need RAR or something?
<GLOBALVariable>naw its cool its a PDF and your print it and tape it on your regular controller.
<ER@SERHE@D>R0x3r!
<GLOBALVariable>i can't send it to you though cuz im at mcdonalds where i work and im on break and we only have an OC96 anyways.
<MALVOLIS>damn thats sloooooow. we got a cable modem its leet.
<ER@SERHE@D>damnit well how can i get it can you ICQ it to me?
<GLOBALVariable>give me your home address and i'll mail it to you.
<ER@SERHE@D>ok cool.
<GLOBALVariable>also let me know a time when you are sure you will be there.
<ER@SERHE@D>cool. maybe ill have all my other hacker friends over so they can check it out.
<GLOBALVariable>very cool.
<ER@SERHE@D>check your private messages
<HADRIEN>you know raser is a real hax0r cuz he privated his address so nobody knows it!
/whois ER@SERHE@D
ER@SERHE@D BrandonMosiac@117.mainst.chicago.il.rr.mediaone.net * : ER@SERHE@D
ER@SERHE@D :#ELITE-HACKER-DUDEZ @#somehugeassftp @#0nanosecondwarez @#badazzbeatz
ER@SERHE@D rr.mediaone.net: Chicago, IL
ER@SERHE@D: 7 seconds idle, logged in at 12/22/2000 12:37:52 AM (EST)
ER@SERHE@D: End of /WHOIS list.
**curious enters the chat.
<curious>sup, you guys hear aol and amazon were hacked?
<CRY.SYS>yeah I did it.
<curious>i figured.
<curious>get off the computer.
<CRY.SYS>ok one sec im bragging about my leet hacking skillz
<curious>ok you've got 2 minutes.
<CRY.SYS>cool.
<GLOBALVariable>is that your mom?
<CRY.SYS>no its my gf shes cool we're gonna get married one day.
<SumLurker>whatever dude she prolly just you thats why you guys have the same ip.
<CRY.SYS>naw that cuz i have like 7 compuiters at my place and she's on one of the other computers in the next room.
<SumLurker>sure dude whatever your pathetic everyone knows girls dont use computers.
<GLOBALVariable>cry.sys you hacked those sites? don't you realize you used a script kiddy attack, and that I, i mean someone may use you as a mass media example of what a threat the children of this country are to national security? That men (and women) dressed in black may be breaking down your door at any moment to drag you away to a juvenile detention center filled with kids who steal from convient stores and skip school? That they will ruin the life of you, your girlfriend, your hacker friends, and your grandma in Kansas?
<curious>his grandmas not in kansas thats mine.
<HADRIEN>wheres kansas?
<CRY.SYS>whatever dude nobody can catch me, i like re-routed all my packets through this laptop in a brazillian library which then used a sweet BackOrifice trojan to open up the cd tray of Boris Yeltzen's BSD box and when he was distracted by the cd tray I re-routed the packets to this scientist's Palm VII in Antarctica who's like keeping records about ice and sh1t, and then it sent an AIM message to this guy in Taiwan to visit this porn site, and when he visited the porn site it launched a hostile java applet that envoked a virtual machine API on his computer that even sun doesn't know exists, which caused his monitor to hypnotize him, and made him open up a SSH connection to that server in #somehugeassftp that gives out shell acounts, where he spent the next 11 hours writing c code in emacs that he then sent through BitchX to a remote irc server in greenland to a man known only as 'The Mole' who then compiled it on 12 different platforms, put it on 12 different floppies, and mailed it to 12 contacts throughout the world, who all had syncronized sports watches (which are very nice I go them on EB@y), who then infected there companies corporate systems at exactly 4:20 cuz thats a cool time but i dont know why, at which point all infected systems opened the cd trays of the CEOs and also displayed pr0n on their screen (this took practice), which left them completely vulnerable to my final uber-smurf-syn-nuke-ansi-quad-stealth-trojan-rune_of_power Xploit! But actually my Xploit didnt work so i just winnuked them, so maybe they could catch me after all.
<CRY.SYS>hold on someones at the door.
<MALVOLIS>same here maybe its the pizza.
**CRY.SYS has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
**curious has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
**MALVOLIS has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
**HADRIEN has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
**Hax0rChicky has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
**ER@SERHE@D has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
<SumLurker>heh.
**SumLurker has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
<GLOBALVariable> muahahaha
**GLOBALVariable is now known as NSA_RULEZ.
**leet_backdoor_government_script sets mode +i.
**leet_backdoor_government_script sets mode +lmnopqrstuvwxyz.
**leet_backdoor_government_scripr sets mode +o NSA_RULEZ.
**NSA_RULEZ changes topic to "Script Kiddies DIE!"
<NSA_RULEZ> sweet once this hits the media i can sell my story, and retire and maybe lead a somewhat meaningful life.
**NBC joins the chat.
**ABC joins the chat.
**CBS joins the chat.
**FOX joins the chat.
**Animal_Planet joins the chat.
**Playboy joins the channel.
**Spice joins the channel.
**Spice was kicked by NSA_RUKEZ (lamer)
**Bill_Clinton joins the chat.
**KevinMitnick joins the chat.
**Thresh joins the chat.
**curious's_grandma joins the chat.
<NSA_RULEZ>damnit i forgot kansas is in a different time zone!
**curious's_grandma has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
After that I dont know what happened cuz they detected my ultra stealth mode and the kicked me too. But you can see what happens sometimes by the government cuz they SUXER big time!. So let me get back to this theory... sorry for the distractions. So we assemble a SPEC OPS team to get Thresh... We are going to have to fly in like uber-low, my friend can do it cuz he has MS Flight Sim and hes real good he almost beat it but he used the cheats but hes still good. He will fly our new Stealth Boing 747 plane. Nobody knows about it cuz its top secret. The goverment has launched a scheme quite some time ago where to fund this project by convincing a large amount of people that EToys was a good stock to buy. It's complicated how it works but it involves like after hours insider day trading limit orders and stuff. So basically the fed like shorts EToys with all the money in the national reserve and has people inside who bring it down to nothing, and the procedes from shorting it fund the Boing Stealth 747 project. If you go to http://www.etoys.com/secret/ you can see it but they may have already took it down once they read that I am revealing their secrets! Well this 747 is cool it's black because black makes planes faster and it flies so low to the ground that the landing gear doesnt even come up, so radar and sonar cant pick it up and if you look at it you go blind cuz it has LASIK Reverter cannons that make peoples eyes have like 20/10000 vision, so it rolls by undetected. This plane holds like 400 people kinda comfortably if you dont have long legs and like 8 people get really nice chairs. It also has TVs so you can see the enemy base and it has nice people that get you crackers, soda, and a pillow cuz you need that stuff on the way there. This plane will be loaded with only our best SPEC OPS people, it will be a combination of Navy Seals, FBI special agents, all kinds of army guys cuz they are all tough, this guy I know who writes for planetquake.com cuz he can help negotiate for thresh and also my uncle he sells cars they are used cards but they are nice I think he can help us in the negotiations. We will also bring some Microsoft X Boxes and copies of Quake 4, and a copy of the newest SETI on CD. (but it wont really be SETI it will be winnuke 2.0 that my friend Bernie wrote. It does all the stuff the old one does plus they make it easy to open the cd-tray, it plays DVDs, and it has support for up to 12 monitors. This new winnuke doesn't even have a Pi to click you have to type in a password to make it work. I'll tell you the password since you are united states citizens like everyone else on the internet and I can trust you. the password is '7337' 7337 means cool in hacker talk. So when winnuke is executed on his PSX2 super computer, it will flash the BIOS's with the TI-82 OS, with onyl a few stupid games written in VISUAL BASIC which is the language calculators do and all the games are dumb but they are cool cuz you can play in class but my friend wrote one that was cool. It was a role playing game called Phinal Phantasy 2. The first one he wrote was just this thing where you put in some numbers and then come back in 3 days and it tells you if you won but this one is cool, you put in a name for your guy and some numbers that i dont know what they are and then you can begin the game and thats all he has done so far but its gonna be sweet nintendo is going to buy it from him for their next system which is going to be a 1024 bit all optical gaming system and its gonna have a modem too and it plays games that are cool they are called TurboChips they are way faster and bigger then DVDs and they are just the size of credit cards. This plane with all this stuff on it will be on a aircraft carrier just because aircrat carriers are cool. We are going to load it up in lake erie cuz there are always aircraft carriers at the docks in Cleveland and then we will go to Kuwait where Saddamm and Thresh are. Once we get close we will launch the 747 and before they know what hit them we will take Thresh and all the PSX2s and give them to Bush because we need him as president to handle this crisis since his George Bush did it like 25 years ago in World War 2. Bush is like his grandpa but he still probably learned a lot. So we will give him all the PSx2s we regain and he will use them for a good cause like he will probably give half to needy children and give some to kids in mexico too because of NAFTA which means we have to give mexicans stuff because they will help us out if we ever get in a war and need them. We'll give some to canada too because canada is cool and it is possible that they have like a huge military force hidden up north where we cant see it like in alaska or something. Then Bush will still have some PSX2s to give to people like Brian Boytano and Chelsea Clinton because Chelsea had to leave college cuz she didn't have any fun cuz all she has was an old 8 bit nintendo and those are LAME. He will also probably sell some on EB@y so help us get out of national debt and so we can repay all the countries that have come to our aid like in vietnam and stuff. Finally he will have one PSX2 sent in a space capsule directed at like another galaxy, probably Mars, so that aliens if they exist can see the great acomplisments we have achieved here on our planet, and they will see that we don't mean harm cuz PSX2 is fun and they will come to our planet, probably the US like New York or LA, because they wouldn't want to land anywhere else the earths not that big anyways, and then they can play games with famed gamer 'Thresh', and the winner will get the larger half of the galaxy and all rights to run SETI to look for new areas of the universe where hey may have even better game systems and maybe people better then 'Thresh'. Which leads me to another topic. Let me tell you about Viagra. Wait hold on. Damnit supper's ready I got to go and it's pizza night anyways every sunday is pizza night so I'll tell you about it later. You can AIM me my screen name is 'LEET_HackMcDude'. It's spelled LEET because my parents set itup for me before I knew cooler ways to spell things but oh well.
Laterz,
L337 Hax0r McDude
:Q
<CRY.SYS>Hey HADRIEN guess what I just did?
<HADRIEN>Um.. put a webcam in your sisters bedroom?
<CRY.SYS>No I couldn't figure that out so I took down aol.com and amazon.com
<HADRIEN>I did that before. brb getting some soda.
**MALVOLIS enters the chat.
<MALVOLIS>Sup DUDEZ!?!
<CRY.SYS>sup. Why weren't you in school today?
<MALVOLIS>last ngiht I haxored some college in oxford ohio.
<CRY.SYS>cool. I took down aol and amazon.
<MALVOLIS>cool. this college had like all their students records and stuff on a 20 year old vax system full of exploitable services and stuff. I enrolled myself and gave myself all As except a B in Art cuz I didn't want it to look sketchy. Then I trasfered 20 million bucks from the business school and premeds and gave it to cs, art, and western campus. There was this fat red-headed kid in there who had been a student for like 9 years and owed them like $100,000 so I converted all his debt to meal plan points. I also gave him a degree in business, figured nobody would notice since business degrees might as well be a sheet of toilet paper. Then I told this large computing company that he was this school best business student and that he like had all these sweet ideas and stuff and that they should hire him for like tons of money, like $8 an hour or something.
<CRY.SYS>that's l337 dude!
**ER@SERHE@D enters the chat.
<ER@SERHE@D>SUP DUDEZ
<ER@SERHE@D>SUP DUDEZ
<ER@SERHE@D>SUP DUDEZ
<ER@SERHE@D>SUP DUDEZ
<ER@SERHE@D>SUP DUDEZ
<ER@SERHE@D>SUP DUDEZ
<ER@SERHE@D>SUP DUDEZ
**ER@SERHE@D was kicked from #ELITE-HACKER-DUDEZ (Flood)
<MitnickBOT>WinNuke performed on ER@SERHE@D for FLOOD. You are the 10256 person to face my WRATH!
<HADRIEN>back. damn mitnick's bot is sweet.
<MALVOLIS>yeah he wrote it in Visual Basic. I could have done it but im working on a script that will say SUP DUDEZ 10 times without getting kicked. It's touch but i'm going to use a custom control I got from #somehugeassftp.
<CRY.SYS>yeah that server has everything i hear it is like at NASA or something.
**ER@SERHE@D enters the chat.
<ER@SERHE@D>man phuck that bot.
<ER@SERHE@D>im gonna go cause havoc in #christian
**Hax0rChicky enters the chat.
<Hax0rChicky>SUP DUDEZ?
<CRY.SYS>sup.
<ER@SERHE@D>sup.
<HADRIEN>sup.
**MinickBOT sets mode +o Hax0rChicky
/whois Hax0rChicky
Hax0rChicky chuck@ppp.ny.aol.com * : Hax0rChicky
Hax0rChicky
#ELITE-HACKER-DUDEZ +v#somehugeassftp +v#yankees @#hillaryclinton @#themanshow #teen @#40somethingHax0rChicky nyhackerz.ny.com: Bronyx, New York
Hax0rChicky: 8 seconds idle, logged in at 12/23/2000 5:16:36 AM (GMT)
Hax0rChicky :End of /WHOIS list.
/ctcp Hax0rChicky PING
[Hax0rChicky PING Response]: 379 seconds
/ctcp Hax0rChicky USERINFO
[Hax0rChicky USERINFO Response]: Hi i'm chuck.
/ctcp Hax0rChicky VERSION
[Hax0rChicky VERSION Response]: AOL IRC v1.0
<CRY.SYS>hey hax0rchic are you really a hot 18 year old from LA?
<Hax0rChicky>yeah dude man i showed you my pic!
<HADRIEN>dude man leave her alone i saw her pic shes cool that why she has OPS and we dont.
<CRY.SYS>ok. So don't you guys want to hear more about how I took down aol.com and amazon.com?
**ER@SERHE@D is away. (burning dreamcast games from hugeassftp)
<ER@SERHE@D>brb im burning some games from hugeftp. Man I just got Super Quad Powered Street Fighter McAlpha 7!
<ER@SERHE@D>dude this game is gonna be tight! It's like Super Quad Powered Street Fighter McAlpha 6, but it has a secret new character named Ryu and it you can turn up the speed to 207! It's 12CDs big and the first 11CDs are all full motion video! And you need these new 81 minute CDs that you can only get from like this one computer store in Cleveland. And the best part is it has only been out for like 7 seconds I got it direct from LEET-WAREZ-GROUP. It won't even be at EB World or Best Buy until tomarrow morning!
<HADRIEN>man I want a cable modem so I can download all those leet gamez.
<ER@SERHE@D>my mom said she would take me to the post office if you want and ill mail you some games but they will be like 3 days old by the time you get them.
<HADRIEN>thats cool man. Overnight them so they can sit on my floor for a couple weeks.
**NSA_AGENT_007 joins the chat.
**NSA_AGENT_007 is now known as GLOBALVariable.
<GLOBALVariable>sup dudez?
<GLOBALVariable>sup dudez?
<GLOBALVariable>sup dudez?
<GLOBALVariable>sup dudez?
<GLOBALVariable>sup dudez?
<GLOBALVariable>sup dudez?
<CRY.SYS>heya.
**private message from HADRIEN dude this guy is must be leet he didnt get kicked for saying sup dudez too many times!
<GLOBALVariable>man you guys hear aol and amazon were hacked?
<MALVOLIS>Are you a fed?
<GLOBALVariable>no. im just bored at work.
**GLOBALVariable works at McDonalds.
/whois GLOBALVariable
GLOBALVariable 007@OC96.secret.nsa.gov * : GLOBALVariable
GLOBALVariable :#ELITE-HACKER-DUDEZ @#NSA @#Echlon @#coolfedtricks
GLOBALVariable pentagon.ug.gov: Washington, D.C.
GLOBALVariable: 2 seconds idle, logged in at 3/15/2000 9:07:41 AM (EST)
GLOBALVariable: End of /WHOIS list.
**ER@SERHE@D is back.
<ER@SERHE@D>man that game suxored. Super Quad Powered Street Fighter McAlpha 8 is gonna be so much better. I hear that Capcom, SNK, and Squaresoft are all working together and it will be 20CDs and you can trade your characters on a VMU and it comes with a collector's card.
<HADRIEN>Can they pirate the collector's card?
<ER@SERHE@D>Yeah its sweet dude they make it a PDF then you can print it on your parents printer and it looks the same nobody can tell!
<MALVOLIS>sweet. man i need to get one of those. do they have any palm pilot warez?
<ER@SERHE@D>man pda's are LAME its all about da console gamez dude!
<GLOBALVariable>hey eraser, I have an alpha-beta release of NHL 2007. You want it?
<ER@SERHE@D>Sweet DUDE! Hell ya hook a brotha up!
<GLOBALVariable>yeah its cool it even comes with a pirated hockey stick controller.
<ER@SERHE@D>sweet how do you get that to work do you need RAR or something?
<GLOBALVariable>naw its cool its a PDF and your print it and tape it on your regular controller.
<ER@SERHE@D>R0x3r!
<GLOBALVariable>i can't send it to you though cuz im at mcdonalds where i work and im on break and we only have an OC96 anyways.
<MALVOLIS>damn thats sloooooow. we got a cable modem its leet.
<ER@SERHE@D>damnit well how can i get it can you ICQ it to me?
<GLOBALVariable>give me your home address and i'll mail it to you.
<ER@SERHE@D>ok cool.
<GLOBALVariable>also let me know a time when you are sure you will be there.
<ER@SERHE@D>cool. maybe ill have all my other hacker friends over so they can check it out.
<GLOBALVariable>very cool.
<ER@SERHE@D>check your private messages
<HADRIEN>you know raser is a real hax0r cuz he privated his address so nobody knows it!
/whois ER@SERHE@D
ER@SERHE@D BrandonMosiac@117.mainst.chicago.il.rr.mediaone.net * : ER@SERHE@D
ER@SERHE@D :#ELITE-HACKER-DUDEZ @#somehugeassftp @#0nanosecondwarez @#badazzbeatz
ER@SERHE@D rr.mediaone.net: Chicago, IL
ER@SERHE@D: 7 seconds idle, logged in at 12/22/2000 12:37:52 AM (EST)
ER@SERHE@D: End of /WHOIS list.
**curious enters the chat.
<curious>sup, you guys hear aol and amazon were hacked?
<CRY.SYS>yeah I did it.
<curious>i figured.
<curious>get off the computer.
<CRY.SYS>ok one sec im bragging about my leet hacking skillz
<curious>ok you've got 2 minutes.
<CRY.SYS>cool.
<GLOBALVariable>is that your mom?
<CRY.SYS>no its my gf shes cool we're gonna get married one day.
<SumLurker>whatever dude she prolly just you thats why you guys have the same ip.
<CRY.SYS>naw that cuz i have like 7 compuiters at my place and she's on one of the other computers in the next room.
<SumLurker>sure dude whatever your pathetic everyone knows girls dont use computers.
<GLOBALVariable>cry.sys you hacked those sites? don't you realize you used a script kiddy attack, and that I, i mean someone may use you as a mass media example of what a threat the children of this country are to national security? That men (and women) dressed in black may be breaking down your door at any moment to drag you away to a juvenile detention center filled with kids who steal from convient stores and skip school? That they will ruin the life of you, your girlfriend, your hacker friends, and your grandma in Kansas?
<curious>his grandmas not in kansas thats mine.
<HADRIEN>wheres kansas?
<CRY.SYS>whatever dude nobody can catch me, i like re-routed all my packets through this laptop in a brazillian library which then used a sweet BackOrifice trojan to open up the cd tray of Boris Yeltzen's BSD box and when he was distracted by the cd tray I re-routed the packets to this scientist's Palm VII in Antarctica who's like keeping records about ice and sh1t, and then it sent an AIM message to this guy in Taiwan to visit this porn site, and when he visited the porn site it launched a hostile java applet that envoked a virtual machine API on his computer that even sun doesn't know exists, which caused his monitor to hypnotize him, and made him open up a SSH connection to that server in #somehugeassftp that gives out shell acounts, where he spent the next 11 hours writing c code in emacs that he then sent through BitchX to a remote irc server in greenland to a man known only as 'The Mole' who then compiled it on 12 different platforms, put it on 12 different floppies, and mailed it to 12 contacts throughout the world, who all had syncronized sports watches (which are very nice I go them on EB@y), who then infected there companies corporate systems at exactly 4:20 cuz thats a cool time but i dont know why, at which point all infected systems opened the cd trays of the CEOs and also displayed pr0n on their screen (this took practice), which left them completely vulnerable to my final uber-smurf-syn-nuke-ansi-quad-stealth-trojan-rune_of_power Xploit! But actually my Xploit didnt work so i just winnuked them, so maybe they could catch me after all.
<CRY.SYS>hold on someones at the door.
<MALVOLIS>same here maybe its the pizza.
**CRY.SYS has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
**curious has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
**MALVOLIS has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
**HADRIEN has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
**Hax0rChicky has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
**ER@SERHE@D has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
<SumLurker>heh.
**SumLurker has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
<GLOBALVariable> muahahaha
**GLOBALVariable is now known as NSA_RULEZ.
**leet_backdoor_government_script sets mode +i.
**leet_backdoor_government_script sets mode +lmnopqrstuvwxyz.
**leet_backdoor_government_scripr sets mode +o NSA_RULEZ.
**NSA_RULEZ changes topic to "Script Kiddies DIE!"
<NSA_RULEZ> sweet once this hits the media i can sell my story, and retire and maybe lead a somewhat meaningful life.
**NBC joins the chat.
**ABC joins the chat.
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**Animal_Planet joins the chat.
**Playboy joins the channel.
**Spice joins the channel.
**Spice was kicked by NSA_RUKEZ (lamer)
**Bill_Clinton joins the chat.
**KevinMitnick joins the chat.
**Thresh joins the chat.
**curious's_grandma joins the chat.
<NSA_RULEZ>damnit i forgot kansas is in a different time zone!
**curious's_grandma has left the chat (connection reset by peer.)
After that I dont know what happened cuz they detected my ultra stealth mode and the kicked me too. But you can see what happens sometimes by the government cuz they SUXER big time!. So let me get back to this theory... sorry for the distractions. So we assemble a SPEC OPS team to get Thresh... We are going to have to fly in like uber-low, my friend can do it cuz he has MS Flight Sim and hes real good he almost beat it but he used the cheats but hes still good. He will fly our new Stealth Boing 747 plane. Nobody knows about it cuz its top secret. The goverment has launched a scheme quite some time ago where to fund this project by convincing a large amount of people that EToys was a good stock to buy. It's complicated how it works but it involves like after hours insider day trading limit orders and stuff. So basically the fed like shorts EToys with all the money in the national reserve and has people inside who bring it down to nothing, and the procedes from shorting it fund the Boing Stealth 747 project. If you go to http://www.etoys.com/secret/ you can see it but they may have already took it down once they read that I am revealing their secrets! Well this 747 is cool it's black because black makes planes faster and it flies so low to the ground that the landing gear doesnt even come up, so radar and sonar cant pick it up and if you look at it you go blind cuz it has LASIK Reverter cannons that make peoples eyes have like 20/10000 vision, so it rolls by undetected. This plane holds like 400 people kinda comfortably if you dont have long legs and like 8 people get really nice chairs. It also has TVs so you can see the enemy base and it has nice people that get you crackers, soda, and a pillow cuz you need that stuff on the way there. This plane will be loaded with only our best SPEC OPS people, it will be a combination of Navy Seals, FBI special agents, all kinds of army guys cuz they are all tough, this guy I know who writes for planetquake.com cuz he can help negotiate for thresh and also my uncle he sells cars they are used cards but they are nice I think he can help us in the negotiations. We will also bring some Microsoft X Boxes and copies of Quake 4, and a copy of the newest SETI on CD. (but it wont really be SETI it will be winnuke 2.0 that my friend Bernie wrote. It does all the stuff the old one does plus they make it easy to open the cd-tray, it plays DVDs, and it has support for up to 12 monitors. This new winnuke doesn't even have a Pi to click you have to type in a password to make it work. I'll tell you the password since you are united states citizens like everyone else on the internet and I can trust you. the password is '7337' 7337 means cool in hacker talk. So when winnuke is executed on his PSX2 super computer, it will flash the BIOS's with the TI-82 OS, with onyl a few stupid games written in VISUAL BASIC which is the language calculators do and all the games are dumb but they are cool cuz you can play in class but my friend wrote one that was cool. It was a role playing game called Phinal Phantasy 2. The first one he wrote was just this thing where you put in some numbers and then come back in 3 days and it tells you if you won but this one is cool, you put in a name for your guy and some numbers that i dont know what they are and then you can begin the game and thats all he has done so far but its gonna be sweet nintendo is going to buy it from him for their next system which is going to be a 1024 bit all optical gaming system and its gonna have a modem too and it plays games that are cool they are called TurboChips they are way faster and bigger then DVDs and they are just the size of credit cards. This plane with all this stuff on it will be on a aircraft carrier just because aircrat carriers are cool. We are going to load it up in lake erie cuz there are always aircraft carriers at the docks in Cleveland and then we will go to Kuwait where Saddamm and Thresh are. Once we get close we will launch the 747 and before they know what hit them we will take Thresh and all the PSX2s and give them to Bush because we need him as president to handle this crisis since his George Bush did it like 25 years ago in World War 2. Bush is like his grandpa but he still probably learned a lot. So we will give him all the PSx2s we regain and he will use them for a good cause like he will probably give half to needy children and give some to kids in mexico too because of NAFTA which means we have to give mexicans stuff because they will help us out if we ever get in a war and need them. We'll give some to canada too because canada is cool and it is possible that they have like a huge military force hidden up north where we cant see it like in alaska or something. Then Bush will still have some PSX2s to give to people like Brian Boytano and Chelsea Clinton because Chelsea had to leave college cuz she didn't have any fun cuz all she has was an old 8 bit nintendo and those are LAME. He will also probably sell some on EB@y so help us get out of national debt and so we can repay all the countries that have come to our aid like in vietnam and stuff. Finally he will have one PSX2 sent in a space capsule directed at like another galaxy, probably Mars, so that aliens if they exist can see the great acomplisments we have achieved here on our planet, and they will see that we don't mean harm cuz PSX2 is fun and they will come to our planet, probably the US like New York or LA, because they wouldn't want to land anywhere else the earths not that big anyways, and then they can play games with famed gamer 'Thresh', and the winner will get the larger half of the galaxy and all rights to run SETI to look for new areas of the universe where hey may have even better game systems and maybe people better then 'Thresh'. Which leads me to another topic. Let me tell you about Viagra. Wait hold on. Damnit supper's ready I got to go and it's pizza night anyways every sunday is pizza night so I'll tell you about it later. You can AIM me my screen name is 'LEET_HackMcDude'. It's spelled LEET because my parents set itup for me before I knew cooler ways to spell things but oh well.
Laterz,
L337 Hax0r McDude
:Q
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