A serious challenge for all who are willing to participate!

Jan 31, 2002
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Instead of me trying to convince all of you of my beliefs or "force" them upon you, I have a serious, but simple challenge for you all: (And if you do believe in God and do not plan on ever changing that, this takes about 2-10 or 15, if you will, minutes to do and since "God will save you", it can not hurt nothing but your pride to do this.)

1. Take this 100% serious.

2. Place five candles of black wax on your floor in the shape of a pentagram. Smear blood - goat works best, but chicken or cow will suffice - to form the circle and splines of the star.

3. Sit down ALONE in the center, and ask Satan, "Dark Lord of Chaos, my flesh is your vessel of the message you bear. I give my earthly body to your mission of fear and despair. Grant me in return the awesome powers of the demon Asmodeous so that I might slay the infidels as they stand upon the streets defying you." (You DO NOT have to use those EXACT words, but try to stay to the main points. And don't mispronounce Asmodeous, that pisses him off.)

4. Place your left hand on your head, and your right hand on the sole of your right foot.

5a. Ask Satan to arise from the depths that he might make his mark upon your neck, giving him ownership of all between your hands.
5b. Or report back here with your experiences/feelings/etc or lack there of...

666. Spread the blood of the innocent.

I know that not all of you have a spare soul to pay Satan, and that is okay, but I know I will help one person on here to "wake up" and change their life...you think yours will not? Prove me and prove God wrong or forever hold your peace, but you must try. The legions grow thin. We hunger for the souls of the damned.

- M4H
 

Fausto

Elite Member
Nov 29, 2000
26,521
2
0
:music:WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!! WE'RE HAAALFWAY THEEEEERE!!!:music:


splutsplurtsplutsplutsplurtsplutsplutsplurtsplutsplutsplurtsplutsplutsplurtsplut


:music:WHOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAOOOOOHHHH!! LIVIN' ON A PRAAAAAAAYEEER!!!:music:
 

her209

No Lifer
Oct 11, 2000
56,336
11
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I thought you were going to say "Stick your tongue in nearest guy's mouth".
 
Jan 31, 2002
40,819
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Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
I think you spelled the third option incorrectly.

*double-checks*

Don't think so. And he's out right now, so I'm not about to page him for something this piddling. :p

- M4H
 

Squisher

Lifer
Aug 17, 2000
21,204
66
91
Satan came to me.

He rose out the depths of my garbage disposal.


He said that all the riches of the world be mine if I cook him dinner with the remnants of the goat.

Looks like I'll be up for a while.




 

AnitaPeterson

Diamond Member
Apr 24, 2001
6,027
564
126
Originally posted by: Squisher
Satan came to me.

He rose out the depths of my garbage disposal.


He said that all the riches of the world be mine if I cook him dinner with the remnants of the goat.

Looks like I'll be up for a while.



Mmmm... devil with a goat entrée... the other dark meat!
 

n0cmonkey

Elite Member
Jun 10, 2001
42,936
1
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Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Originally posted by: n0cmonkey
I think you spelled the third option incorrectly.

*double-checks*

Don't think so. And he's out right now, so I'm not about to page him for something this piddling. :p

- M4H

I don't have the necronomicon or any of the HP Lovecraft books I own handy so I can't triple check. :p
 
Jan 31, 2002
40,819
2
0
Originally posted by: Squisher
Satan came to me.

He rose out the depths of my garbage disposal.


He said that all the riches of the world be mine if I cook him dinner with the remnants of the goat.

Looks like I'll be up for a while.

That's your first test. Make sure you get the right fire incantation, or you'll be start out shoveling the stalls of the Four Horsemen like the other newbs. ;)

- M4H
 

EyeMWing

Banned
Jun 13, 2003
15,670
1
0
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Originally posted by: Squisher
Satan came to me.

He rose out the depths of my garbage disposal.


He said that all the riches of the world be mine if I cook him dinner with the remnants of the goat.

Looks like I'll be up for a while.

That's your first test. Make sure you get the right fire incantation, or you'll be start out shoveling the stalls of the Four Horsemen like the other newbs. ;)

- M4H
Yeah, Lars' horse has constant diarrhea, so it's not a good job.