- Nov 28, 2001
- 22,205
- 43
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So I've admitted to my parents that I've been stealing their home made wine for a while now. Of course they were not happy about that and were angry at me. However they were more worried about me drinking too much than anything else. I promised them that I would repay them for it and replace the wine I took. I could have bought the wine myself instead of taking it I was more lazy than anything else. This is not an issue of under-age drinking since I am 25, yes I know move out and get your own place. Anyway as a presant to my mother, it's her wine, I decided to make her 3 batches of wine, that's about 100 bottles. I told her I was planning on making her the wine and she was OK with that. Anyway today I presented her the list of what I bought and the dates when they will be ready, all payed for 100%. Her reaction was one of anger and disappointment that I had spent so much money, about $390. She never said thanks, in fact she has never said thanks for the idea at all.
One thing that has been a running theme throughout my mothers life has been her inability to be comfortable with spending ANY money. She can't spend any money on her self without feeling guilty and me and my father are berated day and night for spending too much, despite the fact that we live a comfortable middle class lifestyle and are not in any serious financial troubles. Although as a backlash to her harshness my father does spend too much money on toys for himself. I can remember many other instances where me or my father have bought her something as a gift and she has not said one word of thanks until MUCH latter, only shown anger and disapproval at the expense. My mother gew up in a family that was actually quite wealthy in Malaysia but her parents were so stingy that they lived like peasants, I mean literally like peasants. That has forever warped her emotional life when it comes to issues of finance.
I'm more than a bit conflicted here should I feel remorseful and guilty for having stolen the wine and not expect any thanks at all for the wine I bought? Should I feel hurt for not having been given any thanks for the gift? Thing is my mother never really made a huge deal about me taking the wine in the first place, I said I was sorry and she accepted that and we moved on for the most part.
One thing that has been a running theme throughout my mothers life has been her inability to be comfortable with spending ANY money. She can't spend any money on her self without feeling guilty and me and my father are berated day and night for spending too much, despite the fact that we live a comfortable middle class lifestyle and are not in any serious financial troubles. Although as a backlash to her harshness my father does spend too much money on toys for himself. I can remember many other instances where me or my father have bought her something as a gift and she has not said one word of thanks until MUCH latter, only shown anger and disapproval at the expense. My mother gew up in a family that was actually quite wealthy in Malaysia but her parents were so stingy that they lived like peasants, I mean literally like peasants. That has forever warped her emotional life when it comes to issues of finance.
I'm more than a bit conflicted here should I feel remorseful and guilty for having stolen the wine and not expect any thanks at all for the wine I bought? Should I feel hurt for not having been given any thanks for the gift? Thing is my mother never really made a huge deal about me taking the wine in the first place, I said I was sorry and she accepted that and we moved on for the most part.
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