A question for ATOT.

[CraKaJaX]

I frequently visit Chipotle for lunch as it is right around the block from work. I also pick things up at Advanced Auto during lunch if I need something, which is in a strip mall that happens to have a Starbucks in it - shocking. Here's where an explanation is required.

In both of these establishments (Chipotle, Starbucks), you are almost guaranteed fine scenery. Great eye candy. Babes. Standing in line, wolfing down a burrito, a taco, a fajita, sipping coffee or some iced skinny vanilla soy mocha chai gluten free vegan "coffee" type beverage. What has been mentioned here, as a normal human being, makes you poop. What goes in must come out, right?

Throughout the afternoon of the lunch Chipotle visit, I will visit the restroom and take care of business. A few hours to digest and it WILL come out. The usual office bathroom scene - one guy playing candy crush saga at max volume in stall 1, stall 2 is the obligatory New York Times reader who flips the pages 16 times a second to cover any splashing noises. One guy at the urinal holding an entire conversation on the phone taking a piss while his belt buckle is slamming the porcelain. You can see the paint turning a faint yellow because of the god awful smell in there. But..... These animals, while obnoxious about it, are at least taking care of business and keeping the machine functional. Cue up BTO - Taking Care of Business. I'll accept it. "Haven't seen Paul at his desk in a while... he must be taking care of business." You know what I'm talking about.

Let's jump to the other animal. These babes. They are all well dressed as they all (assumed should) be in an office environment. They are working SOMEWHERE. They have a restroom there, I think. They always travel in packs - ALWAYS. How do they cover the bean burrito drenched in hot sauce and medium corn salsa? Do they play it off as the monthly problem even though they just blew it up in there? In a public environment such as work or a restaurant, we will never know. Do they talk about it at home? What about the coffee? Does it EVER come out? Mine does. Are they just clenched all the time because they wear high heels and when they lean forward it feels like their on a cliff and it clamps shut? I don't wear high heels - I don't know. Do they just take selfies on the toilet and forget about what they're actually in there for?

It's endless. It's unexplained.

I'm all ears. Hit me.

 

[vi edit]

I'll leave this here....

(kinda NSFW but nothing more than PG-13 crudeness)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxxsP7VWVN8

 

[moonbogg]

These bitches shit like crazy. There you have it.

 

[z1ggy]

I try to not think about it. Odds are, they blow the bathroom up just as much as your average guy. Gahhhhhh sick. Thanks for ruining my day

 

[moonbogg]

I try to not think about it. Odds are, they blow the bathroom up just as much as your average guy. Gahhhhhh sick. Thanks for ruining my day

Hey, did I hurt your feelings? I didn't mean to. I like you.
The truth is, women shit worse than men. They hold it in until it turns rancid.

 

[thestrangebrew1]

I think for the most part they're trained to hold it in for a longer period of time, and can therefore hold it till they get home or whatever desired destination they wish to free themselves. Here at my office though, either the ladies are actually dudes or just don't give a shit and blow it up. I have to walk by theirs to get to the mens and you can smell it. I sometimes mess with my neighbor here and ask her if she blew it up in there sometimes.

 

[CraKaJaX]

I try to not think about it. Odds are, they blow the bathroom up just as much as your average guy. Gahhhhhh sick. Thanks for ruining my day

I am sorry, but I will gladly ruin one guys day for the good of answering an unexplained question.

 

[z1ggy]

Hey, did I hurt your feelings? I didn't mean to. I like you.
The truth is, women shit worse than men. They hold it in until it turns rancid.

Thankfully, I have yet to hear or smell my g/fs dooks. I praise baby jesus every day for granting me that gift.

 

[z1ggy]

I am sorry, but I will gladly ruin one guys day for the good of answering an unexplained question.

Well, I'm 99% sure my g/f takes her dumps while she showers.

Wait, ok not in the shower, but she turns the shower on, drops the doodie, then showers.

I'm always suspect when I hear that toilet flush while the shower is running....

:ninja:

 

[ElFenix]

you spent 444 words to ask how girls poop?

 

[CraKaJaX]

Thankfully, I have yet to hear or smell my g/fs dooks. I praise baby jesus every day for granting me that gift.

This is furthering the unexplained. They even manage to do it at home base.................


That makes two of us.

 

[vi edit]

Thankfully, I have yet to hear or smell my g/fs dooks. I praise baby jesus every day for granting me that gift.

The honeymoon is over when she shits a football that's clogged the pot and didn't realize it. And you are the one that discovers the offering to the porcelain gods.

 

[CraKaJaX]

you spent 444 words to ask how girls poop?

more importantly I spent $0.00 and wasted 10 minutes of my boring afternoon at work to ask not how, but more so IF.....

you read it too. all of it.

 

[CraKaJaX]

Well, I'm 99% sure my g/f takes her dumps while she showers.

Wait, ok not in the shower, but she turns the shower on, drops the doodie, then showers.

I'm always suspect when I hear that toilet flush while the shower is running....

:ninja:

hmmm. you may be onto something here.

 

[z1ggy]

The honeymoon is over when she shits a football that's clogged the pot and didn't realize it. And you are the one that discovers the offering to the porcelain gods.

This happened with my last g/f. Came home, opened up the toilet to take a wizz... and I find myself staring into a bowl of bloody poop.

Bloody.



Poop.



Call g/f freaking out. She laughs and says woops, well I had my period then showered, looks like I forgot to flush.

Top 3 worst days of my life.

 

[Ruptga]

Everything you need to know, and more, for $14.72

And how is this not locked yet?

 

[blackdogdeek]

When women eat, the food goes directly into a different dimension. Therefore, they never defecate. Ever.

 

[moonbogg]

Thankfully, I have yet to hear or smell my g/fs dooks. I praise baby jesus every day for granting me that gift.

You will know your relationship is at an advanced stage when you fart together. People who make it to that point rarely divorce or break up, because when things are that sad, you just give up hope. "Go ahead honey. Doesn't matter anyway"

 

[thestrangebrew1]

This happened with my last g/f. Came home, opened up the toilet to take a wizz... and I find myself staring into a bowl of bloody poop.

Bloody.



Poop.



Call g/f freaking out. She laughs and says woops, well I had my period then showered, looks like I forgot to flush.

Top 3 worst days of my life.

That's f'ing disgusting. I've been with my wife 8 years, 5 married and have never experienced this. I will say, she's left bloody streaks on the seat before and that was gross too.

 

[Newell Steamer]

Having lived with various women at different times during my life; yes, of course they blow up the bathroom.

They 'reserve' themselves when you 1st meet them. But, after a while (especially while living with them), you get full exposure;

• farts during snuggling sessions on the couch
• dutch ovens
• wafting gifts in the bathroom with NO warning (they always flush the toilet, but rarely warn what is in the air,.. like men do)
• escaped squeaks they don't draw attention to while bumming around the house

Men on the other hand, love bathroom humor. We talk about explosive diarrhea and what not. Even so far as farting on our siblings' heads! Women do not partake in such sophomoric behavior.

Now, there ARE women who fart in front of other women and other people, but, they don't play the fart through.

Example 1: one of my exs was at a meeting, where her boss decided to climb on the table during the meeting. In doing so, she let one loose and no one said anything (it was a meeting filled with women). It was loud, but, no one spoke about it at the meeting. I am sure afterwards the women confided in one another. And, of course the event was shared with me by my ex. But, if it were a man, it would resulted in a hearty chops busting session of 15 minutes or so.

Or, when it is acknowledged, it is not followed with buffoonery. Example 2: I was on a hiking trip and a woman I met on the trip ripped one while we were trekking on. She turned to me and said; I,.. I farted., in a plain and somewhat sheepish manner. I said; Yeah, that's fine, no worries. Say, what blah blah change subject blah blah. Where as if it was a man;
- he would have said something like; I got you something,.. FART ,.. enjoy.
- if he didn't, I would have made fun of him; Wow, that actually resulted in you lifting off the ground,...

So, in summary, they just don't talk about it. Yes, they of course do "it", but "it" is not on the list of things to discuss and buffoonishly pontificate over.

 

[blackdogdeek]

snip

No, I'm pretty sure women neither flatulate nor defecate. I'm pretty sure I read it in a book.

 

[disappoint]

When women eat, the food goes directly into a different dimension. Therefore, they never defecate. Ever.

That dimension is called their thighs, buttocks and hips. Yes, it's a 3 dimensional universe. Well 4 if you count time. Its just like the universe you all don't know and love, except it is pear shaped.

 

[moonbogg]

Example 2: I was on a hiking trip and a woman I met on the trip ripped one while we were trekking on. She turned to me and said; I,.. I farted., in a plain and somewhat sheepish manner. I said; Yeah, that's fine, no worries. Say, what blah blah change subject blah blah. Where as if it was a man;
- he would have said something like; I got you something,.. FART ,.. enjoy.
- if he didn't, I would have made fun of him; Wow, that actually resulted in you lifting off the ground,...

So, in summary, they just don't talk about it. Yes, they of course do "it", but "it" is not on the list of things to discuss and buffoonishly pontificate over.

lol that's great.

 

[z1ggy]

No, I'm pretty sure women neither flatulate nor defecate. I'm pretty sure I read it in a book.

Lol, like in family guy when they teach Stewie to be potty trained.

"Nobody poops but you" or "That's concentrated evil coming out the back of you."

 

[SunburstLP]

OP will be beside himself when/if he has kids. So much poop... Even worse if it's a girl. "HONEY!!! OMG THERE'S SHIT EVERYWHERE! HOW DO I CLEAN THAT THING? JESUS FUCK, HOW DID IT GET THERE?!?"

Ahh, good times. I have pics that I occasionally share with other parents when you start talking about misadventures with feces. Toddlers are a very curious breed and eventually they will poop and get the bright idea to reach in their diaper and see what it's all about. If you're lucky, they smell it, start crying and the adventure stops there. If not, they are going to cover the walls, the furniture and, well, everything in their bedroom with shit. At 1:30 in the morning on a work night. Then you have to wake up the other kid so you can shampoo/steam clean/disinfect everything after you give the kids baths.

Why didn't anyone tell me what kind of shit I was in for before I decided to have kids?

Wife poop? Meh, I ain't skeered.