A poll for the ladies out there in ATOTland

[FuzzyBee]

I've had a bad streak of luck lately with the ladies, or so I think. Maybe it's just that I'm not "playing the game" correctly (whatever that means).

What do y'all think?

 

[ohtwell]

You don't always fall in love with a person that is your type. '


: ) Amanda

 

[FuzzyBee]

Originally posted by: ohtwell
You don't always fall in love with a person that is your type. '

I agree, but to go out with somebody that you proclaim (for many documented reasons) you would never go out with?

 

[Lonyo]

I don't think people really have a "type".

 

[Yeeny]

Guys do it too. They can say they want a long leggy brunette, and fall in love with a tiny blonde. Because, when it comes to love, its not the packaging that matters, its the contents inside.

 

[FuzzyBee]

Originally posted by: Lonyo
I don't think people really have a "type".

True, but most people have traits they are looking for, and traits they'd rather a s.o. not have.

 

[ohtwell]

Originally posted by: fuzzy bee

Originally posted by: ohtwell
You don't always fall in love with a person that is your type. '

I agree, but to go out with somebody that you proclaim (for many documented reasons) you would never go out with?

Well, that has to do with settling. If you can't get a date with a man that is "your type" you will settle for someone who isn't. That may lead to a long relationship or it could crumble the first night.

I think it's also because women, not all but some, set their standards too high. Then they get out into the real world and realize that they will not find this guy. So they lower their standards.

I think a lot of the times a man or woman will see someone who may not be their type exactly and realize that "type" doesn't mean anything.


: ) Amanda

 

[FuzzyBee]

Originally posted by: GirlFriday
Guys do it too. They can say they want a long leggy brunette, and fall in love with a tiny blonde. Because, when it comes to love, its not the packaging that matters, its the contents inside.

Yeah, but I'm referring to traits other than physical ones - one's attitude, likes/dislikes, personality.

 

[Deeko]

Originally posted by: GirlFriday
Guys do it too. They can say they want a long leggy brunette, and fall in love with a tiny blonde. Because, when it comes to love, its not the packaging that matters, its the contents inside.

I think she's got it pretty well right there. But I think he is more referring to personality am I correct sir? People will like, what they like, I used to be a little goody two shoes and liked girls like that, but then one day I fell in love with a little bad girl. It happens.

 

[FuzzyBee]

I think it's also because women, not all but some, set their standards too high. Then they get out into the real world and realize that they will not find this guy. So they lower their standards.

I think we all do...

Of course, then we sometimes like people we shouldn't, and then try to make ourselves like 'em.

 

[ohtwell]

Originally posted by: fuzzy bee

I think it's also because women, not all but some, set their standards too high. Then they get out into the real world and realize that they will not find this guy. So they lower their standards.

I think we all do...

Of course, then we sometimes like people we shouldn't, and then try to make ourselves like 'em.

That does happen! I don't think we all set our standards too high. A lot of people do though.


: ) Amanda

 

[ElFenix]

Originally posted by: ohtwell

Originally posted by: fuzzy bee

I think it's also because women, not all but some, set their standards too high. Then they get out into the real world and realize that they will not find this guy. So they lower their standards.

I think we all do...

Of course, then we sometimes like people we shouldn't, and then try to make ourselves like 'em.

That does happen! I don't think we all set our standards too high. A lot of people do though.


: ) Amanda

you should take over the dr duties now that eakers no longer fulfills them

 

[Hammer]

Originally posted by: GirlFriday
Guys do it too. They can say they want a long leggy brunette, and fall in love with a tiny blonde. Because, when it comes to love, its not the packaging that matters, its the contents inside.

as long as its blonde

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: GirlFriday
Because, when it comes to love, its not the packaging that matters, its the contents inside.

Sure, in an idealistic, pie-in-the-sky world, perhaps.. But in real life, it's difficult for love to blossom when "the packaging" inspires more nausea than attraction..

Now, looking at fuzzy bee's problem, it sounds like he's running into the classic "I want a man who's sensitive and in touch with his feelings.." female attitude, and falling for it. Women say they want that, and perhaps on some level they do, but in reality...

It's the (preferably rich) bad-boy alpha male that gets the girl every time.

 

[FuzzyBee]

It's the (preferably rich) bad-boy alpha male that gets the girl every time.

My soon-to-be-written-and-hit-#1-on-the-NYT-bestseller-list-book:

Women Love Jackasses

It's true.

 

[Mustangrrl]

I think the other ladies pretty much summed up my feelings, and I will add this too: sometimes women (and men) will lower their standards regarding personality traits and moral character IF the person is very goodlooking. Someone might say they like a certain personality type, but will be so in lust with someone the complete opposite that they go for it. It sucks, but seems to be true across the genders.

 

[FuzzyBee]

Originally posted by: Mustangrrl
I think the other ladies pretty much summed up my feelings, and I will add this too: sometimes women (and men) will lower their standards regarding personality traits and moral character IF the person is very goodlooking. Someone might say they like a certain personality type, but will be so in lust with someone the complete opposite that they go for it. It sucks, but seems to be true across the genders.

I think that's what I'm dealing with here. It's probably best that she's not interested in me, anyway.

 

[Deeko]

Originally posted by: fuzzy bee

It's the (preferably rich) bad-boy alpha male that gets the girl every time.

My soon-to-be-written-and-hit-#1-on-the-NYT-bestseller-list-book:

Women Love Jackasses

It's true.

The testament of a loser.

Sorry, not calling you a loser per se, but that is THE line losers spout when it comes to women. "I'm such a great guy he's such a jerk...why do women love jerks?" What you don't understand is that they usually are NOT jerks to the women involved.

And, I have heard from two separate girls on this subject, both of which were very attractive, the type of girl you guys would whine would only go for a jerk:
girl1: girls need a guy with confidence. a guy can't just sit back and do everything I say, he needs to be assertive with me, put me in my place, I am NOT an angel sent from heaven, you don't ALWAYS have to treat me like I am.
girl2: its about masculinity I guess. Guys that may be considered "jerks" seem more masculine than little nice boys.

 

[Mustangrrl]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: GirlFriday
Because, when it comes to love, its not the packaging that matters, its the contents inside.

Sure, in an idealistic, pie-in-the-sky world, perhaps.. But in real life, it's difficult for love to blossom when "the packaging" inspires more nausea than attraction..

Now, looking at fuzzy bee's problem, it sounds like he's running into the classic "I want a man who's sensitive and in touch with his feelings.." female attitude, and falling for it. Women say they want that, and perhaps on some level they do, but in reality...

It's the (preferably rich) bad-boy alpha male that gets the girl every time.

Oh no no no, not every time. When I first got together with my boyfriend (the shy, sensitive type, kinda scrawny but cute), I also met a hot, built, bad boy type of guy who pursued me relentlessly - he just annoyed me with his "I'm so hot" attitude and he couldn't believe I'd pick the guy who is now my boyfriend over him. It was funny though, I enjoyed it

 

[FuzzyBee]

Originally posted by: Deeko

Originally posted by: fuzzy bee

It's the (preferably rich) bad-boy alpha male that gets the girl every time.

My soon-to-be-written-and-hit-#1-on-the-NYT-bestseller-list-book:

Women Love Jackasses

It's true.

The testament of a loser.

Sorry, not calling you a loser per se, but that is THE line losers spout when it comes to women. "I'm such a great guy he's such a jerk...why do women love jerks?" What you don't understand is that they usually are NOT jerks to the women involved.

And, I have heard from two separate girls on this subject, both of which were very attractive, the type of girl you guys would whine would only go for a jerk:
girl1: girls need a guy with confidence. a guy can't just sit back and do everything I say, he needs to be assertive with me, put me in my place, I am NOT an angel sent from heaven, you don't ALWAYS have to treat me like I am.
girl2: its about masculinity I guess. Guys that may be considered call "jerks" seem more masculine than little nice boys.

No offense taken - however, it seems to me that there are a lot of women that are with guys that are jackasses to them in public. Who wants that?

I agree that confidence plays into it. It's kind of tough, though, to keep confidence when you regularly have the tablecoth ripped from beneath you.

 

[Deeko]

No offense taken - however, it seems to me that there are a lot of women that are with guys that are jackasses to them in public. Who wants that?

I agree that confidence plays into it. It's kind of tough, though, to keep confidence when you regularly have the tablecoth ripped from beneath you.

Sometimes they are. Understand that girls can be as superficial as guys, too. Plenty of guys would date a girl that's a complete ditz if she was extremely attractive, and girls do the same with guys.

And keeping confidence up can be hard...hell, you're talkin to the guy that got dumped on AIM Just gotta do it, show no weakness, keep your head up, and go get em.

 

[FuzzyBee]

hell, you're talkin to the guy that got dumped on AIM

that sucks. sounds like it could've been one of my former gals.

 

[Deeko]

Originally posted by: fuzzy bee

hell, you're talkin to the guy that got dumped on AIM

that sucks. sounds like it could've been one of my former gals.

yea, it kinda sucked

I got through that though, and now I've got my pick of the ladies here at school.

 

I think it's two folds: The lack of chemistry and the fact that it is so difficult to find someone who possesses the qualities one likes without losing other aspects. For instance, a guy could be so sweet (at least it seems) but then be not physically attractive or be so boring. It isn't a nice dilemma to be in. I don't think women enjoy having to choose rather than have both.

I think the question now is, why do women choose the stereotypical "fun" guy over the guy who has good qualities but doesn't seem that "fun"? Why are they willing to sacrifice quality? I don't know the answer myself, really. Perhaps it's some inner void and pressure?

Edit: And yes, confidence does count. But there seems to be a correlation between "bad boy" and "confidence".

 

[OS]

lol, I was just thinking that I'm being too nice to a particular girl I've been going out with. Jeez, she's only 18, I'm 23, and she's starting to walk all over me. Man, I'm getting owned by a little girl.

At first I felt sympathetic to her cause she's an only child, pulls her own weight financially and her dad isn't around, but it's gonna have to stop now. :Q

Truth be told, people from both genders and all walks of life often don't respect weak and excessively nice people. I've never really understood why that is, but they just get taken advantage of a lot.