- Feb 12, 2008
- 4,394
- 2
- 81
On a tiny island in the north Pacific industrious natives fish crabs with great skill and
dexterity. Their thin arms both build and retrieve the delicate, well-engineered
traps. These villagers, pious and reverent, give the entire catch to the mystical elders of
the village, two shamans, to harvest.
The donkey shaman and elephant shaman, however, bicker endlessly on how to make the crabs
edible. The elephant, being proud and old, insists that they smash the crabs with the
islands grandest achievement, a gold and ivory hammer. The donkey, fiery and compassionate,
argues that the hammer is elitist and that the hard quarried bricks could smash the crabs
just as well.
The villagers, as they had many times before, gathered on a smooth granite bluff to watch
the elders harvest and bicker. Their gaunt eyes stared hungrily at the two old friend-foes
circled and began their dance. The harvest was more than sustenance, it was also the only
entertainment on the island.
"You donkey-ass, this hammer is what allows us to build fancy traps. It gives us our food,
it is the perfect symbol to harvest these crabs with!" A few members of the crowd broke
into enthusiastic applause. "This is to our hammer builders, the most noble and deservedly
wealthy members of our society!" The crowd erupted in glee as the hammer came down with a
swish and shattered the crab's shell perfectly. Unfortunately, the hammers were designed
for delicate trap-making and not crab smashing. The beautiful hammer was broken into just
as many pieces as the crab. One of the hammer builders eagerly rushed forward to give him a
replacement hammer.
Murmurs of dissatisfaction rippled through the crowd. Most of the trap-engineers and
fisherman thought crab-smashing was a waste of a good hammer. The donkey, wise and cunning,
quickly seized his chance, "You pompous golden-ager! Why waste a hammer on a crab? That
hammer is needed to build traps, without hammers we would all starve!" The recent
dissenter's murmurs mutated into a crescendo of applause. "We could smash crabs with bricks
instead."
The quarry-masters joined in the applause and the annoyed elephant retorted, "Bricks are
crude, and are completely un-allegorical!"
The donkey quickly tried to quell the swell of anger in the crowd, "You crude barbarian!
The bricks build our houses, pave our roads and are the very foundation of our society! They
represent everyman, not just a few select interests." The cheers of the crowd completely
drowned out the hisses of anger from the engineers and fishermen. The noise amplified as
the donkey threw a brick and crushed four crabs. "Anyway, we can harvest more quickly with
a single brick than a endless chain of hammers."
"If you call that pile of goo food, it does harvest more quickly, but the amount of waste
is simply abominable." The elephant raised his arm to smash another but the crowd shouted at
him to stop. He knew he was beaten that day so he did what any elder would do, he called
for a vote to split the harvest between the elders. The elephant reflected, "It is growing
late anyway, might as well finish up early and not bicker." The vote heavily favored the
donkey; the elephant only smashed fifteen crabs.
The islanders filled their stomachs with a mix of fine crab meat and goo, and all were
content. Just before sunset they washed the brick and ceremoniously placed it in a wall
starting at the elders' hut. Though the donkey had clearly won the elephant wasn't worried,
people got tired of goo, and eventually would want to eat fine crab meat again.
*******
Many years later the island was very much transformed. The once prosperous island was now
overwhelmingly destitute. The only honor and goodness left to people was the crab smashing
ceremony. Where the bluff once stood was now a deep, empty quarry. Ironically, this proof
of destitution was the most beautiful place on the island. The wall that had started at the
elder's hut had snaked it's way down and around the quarry, it's slithering form cradling
rooms of all sizes.
At dusk each night, the serpentine corridors were filled with shuffling footsteps as the
villagers abandoned their various distractions and made their way to the ritual. The once
proud elephant and cunning donkey looked harried and beaten with only the faintest spark of
life in their old eyes. The debates, once so lively, were dictated not by passion anymore,
but by cool, dead logic.
The elephant spoke first, "I think we should share the harvest this year, friend. WE only
have three hammers left and not enough ore to make even one more."
"I agree, and it's not as if it'd be unfair. We only have a few crabs so I wouldn't be
profiting too much from the necessity of the situation" replied the donkey. "I guess
after this year I will finally be proven right, my old friend."
The elephant's dead eyes sparked, "what do you mean? It's no one's fault the mine ran dry!
If only that hadn't happened my way would have worked. It was the cleverest solution that
made everyone happiest. They never liked your goo, and I doubt they ever will!"
"It's not about happiness, that's pure selfishness! Because of your ways we are all
starving now and we can barely make enough traps to keep us alive." The somber crowd
mumbled in angry indignation, the donkey was right after all.
"It's not my fault! I simply did as the voter's asked. It's your fault for insisting on
using bricks even after the quarry ran out! Those bricks people once donated freely to you
should have been the last! How can I be blamed for people voting crabs to me? More and more
were homeless and wanted a taste of opulence! It's your fault for stealing their bricks!"
The mumbling crowd's anger increased, the elephant was right after all.
"They were donated to the common good, and anyway, there is plenty of space here in our
sanctuary to house all the villagers. Happiness is much more complex than having a granite
hut."
"You can house them yes, but where will their homes be? Survival is more complex than just
existing."
"This island is their home and they become much more of a family each day they are down
here. Quit distracting everyone from the real issue, you starving them by breaking all of
our hammers."
"I just did what they asked." The elephant felt utterly defeated and called for the vote.
The elephant won unanimously, and the look of surprise replaced the defeat in his eyes.
"YOU FOOLS! You should have voted for the donkey this time, you've just doomed yourselves
to death. We'll never be able to make enough traps." The elephant, with an angry look
quickly cracked two crabs with two hammers. As the second hammer shattered the elephant
snapped, "I thought you were my friend, you're right, you win, but not as my friend as my
worst and eternal nemesis!"
"We were always rivals, it had to end up this way, at least now I can make sure everyone is
happy. Yes, some will die but that's okay it's for the common good. Eventually we'll reach
a point where the number of traps is sufficient to feed everyone, we aren't doomed, just in
for a rough patch." Some members of the crowd looked reassured, others looked mutinous. The
donkey quickly smashed the crabs and called for everyone to line up to eat. Over the years
the donkey and elephant had turned the pell-mell gorging into an organized feast. First the
brick-layers and Hammer-makers would eat, as representatives of everyman and of industry.
Next the public workers would eat and finally the private citizens would eat.
The elephant cried as he turned to the crowd, "Though it is normal for the victor to eat
first I will not. The line you stand in is the order you die in, I am sorry most of all to
the private citizens, you are all doomed." Those at the back of the line looked fearfully
up. Former engineers, fishermen, miners, the usual elephant supporters, were a vast
majority of the end of the line.? Thank you for your support over the years, I was a fool
and you can have my food as a token of atonement."
"But we're all dead anyway!"
"How said that!?" The donkey yelled, "You are not all dead, there are plenty of things you
can do to help the common good, you can move up in line if you are a public employee!" This
calmed some of members at the rear, but a few realized they would rather die quick and free
than live a life of servitude and slow starvation.
The elephant gathered his courage and breath, "The problem isn't that either of our
solutions are incorrect, they do crush crabs. The problem is being too stupid to realize
that if their are two right solutions there are probably many more and many better. "
-Fin
dexterity. Their thin arms both build and retrieve the delicate, well-engineered
traps. These villagers, pious and reverent, give the entire catch to the mystical elders of
the village, two shamans, to harvest.
The donkey shaman and elephant shaman, however, bicker endlessly on how to make the crabs
edible. The elephant, being proud and old, insists that they smash the crabs with the
islands grandest achievement, a gold and ivory hammer. The donkey, fiery and compassionate,
argues that the hammer is elitist and that the hard quarried bricks could smash the crabs
just as well.
The villagers, as they had many times before, gathered on a smooth granite bluff to watch
the elders harvest and bicker. Their gaunt eyes stared hungrily at the two old friend-foes
circled and began their dance. The harvest was more than sustenance, it was also the only
entertainment on the island.
"You donkey-ass, this hammer is what allows us to build fancy traps. It gives us our food,
it is the perfect symbol to harvest these crabs with!" A few members of the crowd broke
into enthusiastic applause. "This is to our hammer builders, the most noble and deservedly
wealthy members of our society!" The crowd erupted in glee as the hammer came down with a
swish and shattered the crab's shell perfectly. Unfortunately, the hammers were designed
for delicate trap-making and not crab smashing. The beautiful hammer was broken into just
as many pieces as the crab. One of the hammer builders eagerly rushed forward to give him a
replacement hammer.
Murmurs of dissatisfaction rippled through the crowd. Most of the trap-engineers and
fisherman thought crab-smashing was a waste of a good hammer. The donkey, wise and cunning,
quickly seized his chance, "You pompous golden-ager! Why waste a hammer on a crab? That
hammer is needed to build traps, without hammers we would all starve!" The recent
dissenter's murmurs mutated into a crescendo of applause. "We could smash crabs with bricks
instead."
The quarry-masters joined in the applause and the annoyed elephant retorted, "Bricks are
crude, and are completely un-allegorical!"
The donkey quickly tried to quell the swell of anger in the crowd, "You crude barbarian!
The bricks build our houses, pave our roads and are the very foundation of our society! They
represent everyman, not just a few select interests." The cheers of the crowd completely
drowned out the hisses of anger from the engineers and fishermen. The noise amplified as
the donkey threw a brick and crushed four crabs. "Anyway, we can harvest more quickly with
a single brick than a endless chain of hammers."
"If you call that pile of goo food, it does harvest more quickly, but the amount of waste
is simply abominable." The elephant raised his arm to smash another but the crowd shouted at
him to stop. He knew he was beaten that day so he did what any elder would do, he called
for a vote to split the harvest between the elders. The elephant reflected, "It is growing
late anyway, might as well finish up early and not bicker." The vote heavily favored the
donkey; the elephant only smashed fifteen crabs.
The islanders filled their stomachs with a mix of fine crab meat and goo, and all were
content. Just before sunset they washed the brick and ceremoniously placed it in a wall
starting at the elders' hut. Though the donkey had clearly won the elephant wasn't worried,
people got tired of goo, and eventually would want to eat fine crab meat again.
*******
Many years later the island was very much transformed. The once prosperous island was now
overwhelmingly destitute. The only honor and goodness left to people was the crab smashing
ceremony. Where the bluff once stood was now a deep, empty quarry. Ironically, this proof
of destitution was the most beautiful place on the island. The wall that had started at the
elder's hut had snaked it's way down and around the quarry, it's slithering form cradling
rooms of all sizes.
At dusk each night, the serpentine corridors were filled with shuffling footsteps as the
villagers abandoned their various distractions and made their way to the ritual. The once
proud elephant and cunning donkey looked harried and beaten with only the faintest spark of
life in their old eyes. The debates, once so lively, were dictated not by passion anymore,
but by cool, dead logic.
The elephant spoke first, "I think we should share the harvest this year, friend. WE only
have three hammers left and not enough ore to make even one more."
"I agree, and it's not as if it'd be unfair. We only have a few crabs so I wouldn't be
profiting too much from the necessity of the situation" replied the donkey. "I guess
after this year I will finally be proven right, my old friend."
The elephant's dead eyes sparked, "what do you mean? It's no one's fault the mine ran dry!
If only that hadn't happened my way would have worked. It was the cleverest solution that
made everyone happiest. They never liked your goo, and I doubt they ever will!"
"It's not about happiness, that's pure selfishness! Because of your ways we are all
starving now and we can barely make enough traps to keep us alive." The somber crowd
mumbled in angry indignation, the donkey was right after all.
"It's not my fault! I simply did as the voter's asked. It's your fault for insisting on
using bricks even after the quarry ran out! Those bricks people once donated freely to you
should have been the last! How can I be blamed for people voting crabs to me? More and more
were homeless and wanted a taste of opulence! It's your fault for stealing their bricks!"
The mumbling crowd's anger increased, the elephant was right after all.
"They were donated to the common good, and anyway, there is plenty of space here in our
sanctuary to house all the villagers. Happiness is much more complex than having a granite
hut."
"You can house them yes, but where will their homes be? Survival is more complex than just
existing."
"This island is their home and they become much more of a family each day they are down
here. Quit distracting everyone from the real issue, you starving them by breaking all of
our hammers."
"I just did what they asked." The elephant felt utterly defeated and called for the vote.
The elephant won unanimously, and the look of surprise replaced the defeat in his eyes.
"YOU FOOLS! You should have voted for the donkey this time, you've just doomed yourselves
to death. We'll never be able to make enough traps." The elephant, with an angry look
quickly cracked two crabs with two hammers. As the second hammer shattered the elephant
snapped, "I thought you were my friend, you're right, you win, but not as my friend as my
worst and eternal nemesis!"
"We were always rivals, it had to end up this way, at least now I can make sure everyone is
happy. Yes, some will die but that's okay it's for the common good. Eventually we'll reach
a point where the number of traps is sufficient to feed everyone, we aren't doomed, just in
for a rough patch." Some members of the crowd looked reassured, others looked mutinous. The
donkey quickly smashed the crabs and called for everyone to line up to eat. Over the years
the donkey and elephant had turned the pell-mell gorging into an organized feast. First the
brick-layers and Hammer-makers would eat, as representatives of everyman and of industry.
Next the public workers would eat and finally the private citizens would eat.
The elephant cried as he turned to the crowd, "Though it is normal for the victor to eat
first I will not. The line you stand in is the order you die in, I am sorry most of all to
the private citizens, you are all doomed." Those at the back of the line looked fearfully
up. Former engineers, fishermen, miners, the usual elephant supporters, were a vast
majority of the end of the line.? Thank you for your support over the years, I was a fool
and you can have my food as a token of atonement."
"But we're all dead anyway!"
"How said that!?" The donkey yelled, "You are not all dead, there are plenty of things you
can do to help the common good, you can move up in line if you are a public employee!" This
calmed some of members at the rear, but a few realized they would rather die quick and free
than live a life of servitude and slow starvation.
The elephant gathered his courage and breath, "The problem isn't that either of our
solutions are incorrect, they do crush crabs. The problem is being too stupid to realize
that if their are two right solutions there are probably many more and many better. "
-Fin
Facebook
Twitter